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  1. #1
    cameron_keys
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    Ask Cameron Keys

    Ok...preliminary poll results show that this thread would be welcomed so here it is. I'm testing my skills as an advice columnist. Feel free to ask anything(and critique the advice I give).

    Lets have some fun with this!! Come on everyone...play Stump the Stripper!!!

  2. #2
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Dear Cameron,

    Since I'm not afraid to answer questions in class, I'm known as a brain. While I am in no way ashamed of this, there are numerous leeches who believe in some form of communist education. I've managed to make lemonade out of lemons by charging them for services such as proofreading papers (You know what PT Barnum said about suckers!), but that still leaves issues like me doing most of the work in group projects. Any advice for keeping the leeches at bay?

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    OK here's one for you.

    I am an artist, but I haven't drawn anything except a few architectural perspectives and plans for about 2 years now.

    What I really want to do is start drawing pinup style art. I have done this a couple times in the past and it turned out really well. And I have done about 4-5 portraits that turned out well, too. The thing is, I don't like drawing pictures from magazines, I much prefer drawing pictures of people I know.

    I can work from photographs much easier than having someone pose, that's not a problem.

    I would love to draw some of the women I work with, but when I have mentioned it, I often get the impression they are then confusing me with the usual customer/perv DJ type of guy who just wants to see naked women. Nothing could be more repugnant to me, and it doesn't help when it comes to tip time to be mistaken for a perv, either, lol.

    Or they might not think it's weird, but they just never bring in any photographs.

    Any idea how I can bring this up and get better cooperation?
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  4. #4
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Dear Cameron,

    Since I'm not afraid to answer questions in class, I'm known as a brain. While I am in no way ashamed of this, there are numerous leeches who believe in some form of communist education. I've managed to make lemonade out of lemons by charging them for services such as proofreading papers (You know what PT Barnum said about suckers!), but that still leaves issues like me doing most of the work in group projects. Any advice for keeping the leeches at bay?

    Hmmm..not knowing what kind of group projects they are, is it possible for you to take charge and assign jobs for each member of the group? Or if they are just flat out refusing to pull their weight..go to your professor and talk to him/her about the issue..stating that you want to do the work, but do not want to do THEIR work. Perhaps you can be assigned solo projects instead if your prof knows the situation. Or at least be assigned to a differant group where everyone does their fair share.

  5. #5
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    OK here's one for you.

    I am an artist, but I haven't drawn anything except a few architectural perspectives and plans for about 2 years now.

    What I really want to do is start drawing pinup style art. I have done this a couple times in the past and it turned out really well. And I have done about 4-5 portraits that turned out well, too. The thing is, I don't like drawing pictures from magazines, I much prefer drawing pictures of people I know.

    I can work from photographs much easier than having someone pose, that's not a problem.

    I would love to draw some of the women I work with, but when I have mentioned it, I often get the impression they are then confusing me with the usual customer/perv DJ type of guy who just wants to see naked women. Nothing could be more repugnant to me, and it doesn't help when it comes to tip time to be mistaken for a perv, either, lol.

    Or they might not think it's weird, but they just never bring in any photographs.

    Any idea how I can bring this up and get better cooperation?
    Well, first of all I would like to volunteer! I ADORE pin up style art and would be unbelievably flattered at having a piece based on me...having a classic 50's pin-up figure!

    As for the girls at work. Post something in the dressing room so it doesnt seem like you are targeting(and such perving on) certain individuals. State that you are an artist and would love it if some of the girls had pics you could use as inspiration. Maybe even put up samples of things you have done in the past so they know what it is you are looking for and that you are actually planning(and capable) of turning the pics into art...and not just jacking off to them at home!LOL!

  6. #6
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    Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    What a cute thread idea, CK.

    Okay here we go...


    Dear Cameron,

    HELP! I just got out of the military a little over a year ago and am recently living in a town close to my family. I really enjoy being a dancer and all of the perks, money, freedom, etc. However...I am torn.

    I love my family dearly and want to be close to them because they are always there for me when I need them, but yet...I want to move somewhere else where the money is better, the weather is "friendlier", and I can find people just like me who have a diverse background and are open-minded and jolly like myself. I don't really care for this town. I don't feel like I "belong." I was forced to leave my "true home", Hawaii, a couple of years ago, and I miss it terribly...yet I don't know if I would want to go back and take up permanent residence there because the clubs there are not that great. However, I loved my University there and wouldn't mind going back to school. I if I chose to live and dance in Hawaii, though, there's about a 90% chance that kids at my school would find me, and there would go my fabulous double-life.

    Should I try to find a "homebase city" that I can always return to (I do not wish to live in hotels and rummage through storage for the rest of my life...that's why I got out of the military) and just travel to Hawaii and work when I want to? I'm so confused! I really want to live in a town where the market is great for the business...but yet I have the freedom to travel to other places (including Hawaii) to work. Rent expenses are not really an issue for me....but I would like to save as much money as I can to work on my ultimate goal. RETIREMENT.

    I ultimately plan on retiring and buying a house in Hawaii...but it will not happen overnight. This may take several years.

    Thanks for your help and I look forward to your much needed advice.

    Sincerely,

    Homesick



  7. #7
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Dear Cameron,
    My ex and I have been hanging out frequently, and might be getting back together. This weekend, we made sweet love twice. I say making love, because that's the type of sex it was, versus hardcore fucking. However, when I really got going, I was thinking of another man. This is a man I work with whom I have sex with occasionally. My ex is much more well endowed than this guy, and a superior lover.

    How come I can't stop thinking of my coworker during sex, and why is it the thing that gets me "there"? What can I do do remedy this, or is it a sign that we shouldn't get back together. The coworker and I do not have a romantic relationship and never will.

    Confused Unfilled Needy Tittilated

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Ok, I'll take the bait....

    heres one issue that I have been thinking of for a few years now, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue.

    I just do not like my sister-in-law. yes shes a nice person, smart, caring, etc, great for my brother, but, something about her just rubs me the wrong way. It as if she comes across as being disingenuous when you see her.

    Granted everyone in my immediate family likes her, for some reason i can't get over this little issue. I have thought about, and maybe because its an outsider coming into the family, and honestly, I do not think that is the issue as its more or less her personality, not the fact that she is now part of the family.

    Just something I cannot place, please help me Cameron Keys!

  9. #9
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Mily View Post
    What a cute thread idea, CK.

    Okay here we go...

    Dear Cameron,

    HELP! I just got out of the military a little over a year ago and am recently living in a town close to my family. I really enjoy being a dancer and all of the perks, money, freedom, etc. However...I am torn.

    I love my family dearly and want to be close to them because they are always there for me when I need them, but yet...I want to move somewhere else where the money is better, the weather is "friendlier", and I can find people just like me who have a diverse background and are open-minded and jolly like myself. I don't really care for this town. I don't feel like I "belong." I was forced to leave my "true home", Hawaii, a couple of years ago, and I miss it terribly...yet I don't know if I would want to go back and take up permanent residence there because the clubs there are not that great. However, I loved my University there and wouldn't mind going back to school. I if I chose to live and dance in Hawaii, though, there's about a 90% chance that kids at my school would find me, and there would go my fabulous double-life.

    Should I try to find a "homebase city" that I can always return to (I do not wish to live in hotels and rummage through storage for the rest of my life...that's why I got out of the military) and just travel to Hawaii and work when I want to? I'm so confused! I really want to live in a town where the market is great for the business...but yet I have the freedom to travel to other places (including Hawaii) to work. Rent expenses are not really an issue for me....but I would like to save as much money as I can to work on my ultimate goal. RETIREMENT.

    I ultimately plan on retiring and buying a house in Hawaii...but it will not happen overnight. This may take several years.

    Thanks for your help and I look forward to your much needed advice.

    Sincerely,

    Homesick
    Well, there are many places where the weather and such are similar to the Islands. It wouldnt be the same I'm sure...but it would at least be comperable. What about living in Cali? You could have the warm weather, plenty of open minded people...you could teach and dance(since there would be many places that were big enough for you to do both without being "caught")..and still be a short plane ride away from your beloved Hawaii. So you could return for a few days or a week whenever the homesickness began to overwhelm you.

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Okay, here's one I've been mulling over for awhile...

    I don't do production work anymore. I haven't done a feature in almost a year, and I've only done one or two music videos since then for a change of pace. I am a full-time stripper and I like it better. I'm happy, I'm not depressed anymore, I'm not a nervous wreck anymore, and I like my life. I have plenty of time to write and pursue my craft, and I'm keeping my toes in the film industry water by maintaining contacts, but I'm not doing production work.

    I'm getting REALLY sick of lying to my family, coming up with bogus commercials and videos and little horror films that are "too small for IMDb," and telling them I tend bar between shows. I'm just sick of the lies because I am an excessively honest person and lies really wear me down. As I get further and further from production work, I feel like it's getting more likely I'll get caught lying, too. So I can't decide whether to come out of the stripper closet to my family (EVERYONE else knows).

    The only pro is that I wouldn't have to lie anymore. That would be a huge relief for me. The cons, OTOH, are numerous - my grandmother is a nervous wreck and she would freak with worry; my family lives in an area where "stripper" is synonymous with "junkie/whore" and the stripclubs are legendary for drugs, prostitution, and violence; my mom is currently in rehab and I don't want to set her off to drinking again; my grandfather might feel obligated to do everything possible so I won't "have to" dance, etc. etc. etc. I'm not worried about being disowned or anything, but I can't decide if my relief is worth freaking them out.

    It was complicated with all my mom's drama this weekend when I flipped out at them for lying to me about her alcoholism, and I was furious that they wouldn't be honest. And here I am living a lie too.

    So what do you think?

  11. #11
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Dear Cameron,
    My ex and I have been hanging out frequently, and might be getting back together. This weekend, we made sweet love twice. I say making love, because that's the type of sex it was, versus hardcore fucking. However, when I really got going, I was thinking of another man. This is a man I work with whom I have sex with occasionally. My ex is much more well endowed than this guy, and a superior lover.

    How come I can't stop thinking of my coworker during sex, and why is it the thing that gets me "there"? What can I do do remedy this, or is it a sign that we shouldn't get back together. The coworker and I do not have a romantic relationship and never will.

    Confused Unfilled Needy Tittilated
    What is it about the co-worker that stops you from having a relationship with him? Is there no chemistry between you except in bed? Does the ex know about this other guy?
    If theres no chance for a a relationship with co-worker and ex does not know...my guess would be that its the "naughty" aspect of it that titillates you. You have (from what I know of you) lived a hard and fast party life for quite some time. The thought of being happy(even in bed) with something calmer may terrify you..even on a subconcious level. You may want it..but you are phsyching yourself out of giving into it completely. And going abck to what you know best(the naughty boy) in your head gives you "permission" to come...its safe...theres nothing else but an orgasm you have to commit to there.

  12. #12
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Wow, great advice!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  13. #13
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Real View Post
    Ok, I'll take the bait....

    heres one issue that I have been thinking of for a few years now, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue.

    I just do not like my sister-in-law. yes shes a nice person, smart, caring, etc, great for my brother, but, something about her just rubs me the wrong way. It as if she comes across as being disingenuous when you see her.

    Granted everyone in my immediate family likes her, for some reason i can't get over this little issue. I have thought about, and maybe because its an outsider coming into the family, and honestly, I do not think that is the issue as its more or less her personality, not the fact that she is now part of the family.

    Just something I cannot place, please help me Cameron Keys!
    Is this the first or only in-law you have? Therefore the only one to "take away" a family member? Were/are you close to your brother? It could be that there is something about her that IS wrong and she just hasnt shown it yet...but you are picking up on subtle signals you cant identify yet.OR..your mind just isnt ready to relinquish your bother completley.

    Why not suggest a day together..just you and her...so you can get to know her on a personal level. As HER..not justas your bothers wife. You may find you like her more then you think.

  14. #14
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Okay, here's one I've been mulling over for awhile...

    I don't do production work anymore. I haven't done a feature in almost a year, and I've only done one or two music videos since then for a change of pace. I am a full-time stripper and I like it better. I'm happy, I'm not depressed anymore, I'm not a nervous wreck anymore, and I like my life. I have plenty of time to write and pursue my craft, and I'm keeping my toes in the film industry water by maintaining contacts, but I'm not doing production work.

    I'm getting REALLY sick of lying to my family, coming up with bogus commercials and videos and little horror films that are "too small for IMDb," and telling them I tend bar between shows. I'm just sick of the lies because I am an excessively honest person and lies really wear me down. As I get further and further from production work, I feel like it's getting more likely I'll get caught lying, too. So I can't decide whether to come out of the stripper closet to my family (EVERYONE else knows).

    The only pro is that I wouldn't have to lie anymore. That would be a huge relief for me. The cons, OTOH, are numerous - my grandmother is a nervous wreck and she would freak with worry; my family lives in an area where "stripper" is synonymous with "junkie/whore" and the stripclubs are legendary for drugs, prostitution, and violence; my mom is currently in rehab and I don't want to set her off to drinking again; my grandfather might feel obligated to do everything possible so I won't "have to" dance, etc. etc. etc. I'm not worried about being disowned or anything, but I can't decide if my relief is worth freaking them out.

    It was complicated with all my mom's drama this weekend when I flipped out at them for lying to me about her alcoholism, and I was furious that they wouldn't be honest. And here I am living a lie too.

    So what do you think?
    I feel your pain. My family thinks I'm a waitress. I hate lying to them..but I know that it is for their own good. Unburdening my soul would cause them unbelievable pain and worry. It seems to be the same with your family. Yes, it would make you feel better...but at what cost?

    Tell your family that working in film has been very stressful for you lately and you are taking a break for awhile..working in a bar and saving up money. Technically the truth. Theres no reason for them to know the rest.If they ask....just say that you are happily saving money and waiting for the right project before you jump back in instead of taking crap production jobs that pay nothing and make you miserable.

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    I think you're right. Thank you.

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    Thumbs up Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Well, there are many places where the weather and such are similar to the Islands. It wouldnt be the same I'm sure...but it would at least be comperable. What about living in Cali? You could have the warm weather, plenty of open minded people...you could teach and dance(since there would be many places that were big enough for you to do both without being "caught")..and still be a short plane ride away from your beloved Hawaii. So you could return for a few days or a week whenever the homesickness began to overwhelm you.

    NOT BAD! I've currently been researching towns and have been thinking about moving to either San Diego or Vegas to work in a much better market, be in a similiar climate, be around open-minded individuals like myself, have a cheaper plane ride away from my beloved islands, and also be able to save more $$$ for my retirement. Also...I meant that I would be going back to being a student in Hawaii...not a teacher. All in all...pretty good advice, Girly!



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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    ^^ I'll leave the answer to the expert, but some serious HUGS to you, missy.

    (Sory to interrupt!)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Dear Cameron,

    I don't have anything to ask right now (though I'm sure I will sometime--goodness knows I need the help!) but I wanted to send a note of support. You have a welcoming, thoughtful tone to your posts that makes people want to communicate with you--and I think you've really got a knack for this. I hope you stay after it. Great job!
    JK Jim

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Cameron,

    I have so much to do everyday but, never enough time to do it all.
    How can I get as many of my tasks accomplished without feeling overwhelmed and without cutting out the things I love to do, like working out twice and day and spending time w/ my family?

    One more question..How can I get my 18 year old nephew to respect my space, he's always in my room or taking my shit ? I also need for him to get back to his responsible self..he's taken a detour over the past couple of months.
    Everytime I try talking to him it usually ends in an arguement..
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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  20. #20
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Jade View Post
    Ok, let's see what you've got for me, Cam...

    It's coming up on the 6-year anniversary of my dad's death. (How he died might play a part in this, but might not. If you think it might, PM me, I don't feel as comfortable posting it in public.) For the most part, I've dealt with it. I don't want to say that I'm "over" it, but I am not burdened by grief. My life has moved in a forward trajectory, etc.

    However, this time of year always the hardest for me. Friends and family openly grieves... but I still can't bring myself to do it. Yes, I grieve privately. I cry, I get angry, then I calm down and rationalize. I just don't feel comfortable doing this in front of others. I have yet to cry in front of my mother or any of my younger siblings... or any of my other family, for that matter. It's just not the way I am, but I feel like everyone looks at me like I must not care since I'm not in hysterics like everyone else. Is there something wrong with me, should I just tell everyone to shove it, or is there something else I can do to let them know I care, but I just grieve differently?
    Everyone grieves differantly..theres absolutely nothing wrong with that. I woudlnt tell them to shove it unless they are being really rude to you..they just dont understand. Let them know that you feel it just as mucha s they do...but crying,etc..doesnt make you feel better. It may for them..some people fell much better after they have opened up the floodgates and let it all out. You get comfort from rationalizing. Just tell them that and be there for them to cry to. Suggest sharing stories of him together...some will make them cry and you think...somemayeven make you all laugh in his memory. Either way..you'll be honoring the man together in your own ways. And I'm sure he will be looking down on you all in appreciation.

    And hugs to you from me too. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss details.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    CK, this is GREAT thread, I hope it lasts for a while!

    Anyway, can ppl PM you, and you post the question anonymously, along with your advice?

    Of course, I won't do it first, cuz that would be obvious
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

  22. #22
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by jhuka View Post
    Dear Cameron,

    I don't have anything to ask right now (though I'm sure I will sometime--goodness knows I need the help!) but I wanted to send a note of support. You have a welcoming, thoughtful tone to your posts that makes people want to communicate with you--and I think you've really got a knack for this. I hope you stay after it. Great job!
    Thanks!! I FEEL like I have a knack for it..I just hope I'm doing some good!

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Heee heee heee! What a great deluge this is becoming! CK, are you starting to fear you've bitten off more than you can chew?

    (LJ - I will buzz you later fer sher!)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  24. #24
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Ask Cameron Keys

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Holiday View Post
    Cameron,

    I have so much to do everyday but, never enough time to do it all.
    How can I get as many of my tasks accomplished without feeling overwhelmed and without cutting out the things I love to do, like working out twice and day and spending time w/ my family?

    One more question..How can I get my 18 year old nephew to respect my space, he's always in my room or taking my shit ? I also need for him to get back to his responsible self..he's taken a detour over the past couple of months.
    Everytime I try talking to him it usually ends in an arguement..

    1) write down what you do every day for a few days. Hour by hour. I'm sure you will see that there are things that can be cut down on. Askfor help with anything you can...do anything you can to make more time..pay bills online instead of in person or going to the post office..make others help with housecleaning,etc...and learn to say NO to anything you dont want to do or dont have time to do. You arent doing anyone any good if you are exhausted and doing shit half assed!

    2) put a lock on your door and lock it when you arent around.Tell him you dont want to argue with him anymore,but you are tired of him disrespecting your wishes and invading your privacy.He'll be forced to comply

  25. #25
    cameron_keys
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda View Post
    CK, this is GREAT thread, I hope it lasts for a while!

    Anyway, can ppl PM you, and you post the question anonymously, along with your advice?

    Of course, I won't do it first, cuz that would be obvious
    Oh sure..I can post anonomously or answer in a PM..whichever you prefer.

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