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Thread: i need to stop being such a wussie

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    Member angiiemarie's Avatar
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    Default i need to stop being such a wussie

    i am a decent looking girl with a ton of confidence, i'm educated, i'm outgoing, i am interesting to talk to..... and then i go to work. I can hardly look people in the eye and i DO NOT APPROACH men. i wait for them to walk up to me, which obviously means that I don't take the money home that i want to be taking home. I get tipped a lot on stage, and then instead of walking up to the guy, i go hide in the dressing room or sit at the bar hoping to get the courage to walk up to one of the tippers.... I hardly ever can. I have been dancing off and on for nearly five years but recently I have decided that if I can't figure out a way to do better at work, I need to just give it up. Is there anything you can suggest to this supershy dancer?

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    Featured Member Miss_Luscious's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    I was the same way. It was hard for me to go talk to people because I thought I would be rejected for some reason. I found the best way to get over that was to fake it. I just told myself that I wasn't scared to talk to people and I wasn't shy. After a while it became second nature. I still have a little feeling a "oh god" when I leave the dressing room and step on the floor but I just shake it off and become the social butterfly "Luscious" as opposed to the anti social real me.

    Plus you're a beautiful woman, who wouldn't want to talk to you (and pay you for the privilege!)?
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." - Bertrand Russell

    "It's just a matter of people having low self esteem and being way too easily offended." -Random Guy on a Internet Forum

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Ya'll bitches need to calm down. Cerously.
    In other words: Boo-motherfucking-hoo

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    Veteran Member Habinairo's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    I feel the same way when I go up to a guy. I usually dance for older men than young energetic guys. But, as funny as it is, when I ignore the young guys, they come up to me, or, if I spend all my time avoiding the young guys cuz I think they won't want me, then after everyone I go to them, they've been waiting for me. You never know who wants you. Just go up to every one of them thinking they do want you. AllI do is ask them, are you having fun tonight? Yeah? Let's go have some more, and I nod my head to VIP. And about 6/10 do say yes.
    Good luck and just go to them.

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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    You just have to get over it. That was my biggest problem when I started dancing, then I got over it and started making bank. Besides if thats you in your avatar youre superhot and any guy would love to be approached by you. Youre beautiful, your half dressed, trust me you have the upper hand.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

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    Member angiiemarie's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    aww, thank you guys for the tips and the compliments. i am not kidding when i say that i really did better than usual today [i work days] yayy

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    One way to help you maintain that momentum is if a guy is tipping you well onstage, just MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT with him while you get your clothes, collect your tips, etc. If he's interested he'll keep the eye contact up and then it's easy to just walk up to him and start talking when you get off stage. Then say something like "Wow, thanks for the tip, that was such a fun set! I have 20x more fun in private dances. Want to see?"

    I know that for myself, sometimes a guy is clearly interested but by the time I have my clothes on and am getting offstage, he's getting another beer or something and I lose my courage. Keeping him looking at you is a great way to boost your own confidence.

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    Senior Member ITgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    If you've been dancing for five years and you still can't overcome your shyness in the club. then you might need to find a new job... Or come work at my club so I have less competition! I love working with totally unmotivated girls cuz I can go on cruise control and still bank.

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    ^^ That's a pretty cruel thing to say. WTF? It's one thing to tell her that it's been 5 years and maybe it's just not the right job for her, but the latter part? Stop it. She's not unmotivated, she's scared, and you're taking her fear to make a totally cruel statement.

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    Member bergdorfbrunette's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    Woah... I have to speak up and agree with the BrunetteGoddess here ... That comment was TOTALLY out of bounds... Motivation isn't the issue here... and your comment , ITGirl, did absolutely nothing to help the OP with her fear...


    AngiieMarie- what everyone is saying about "faking it" is sooo correct, in my opinion also. I was the EXACT same way (seems like quite a few of us were ...lol ), for awhile, until I just started "faking it"

    Approach every table with the attitude you'd have if they had just asked the bouncer/floorhost to send you to their table.

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    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    Are you worried that the guys wont like you? That they'll say no? That you won't know what to say?

    If you're worried that they're not going to like you, don't worry about it. You're not there to get guys to like you. You're there to sell them a dance. They are two totally different things.

    If you're worried that they are going to say no, you can look at it this way: If you don't approach them, they aren't going to say no, but they aren't going to say yes either. The more no's you get, the more practice you're getting. The more you approach, the more experienced you become. And, as everyone always says, this is a numbers game. The more no's you get means you're that much closer to a yes, because you will always sell a certain percentage of the guys you hustle.

    If you're not sure what to say, I'll tell you what I do... it's not really that special: I ask everyone,
    1. what's your name?
    2. have you been here before?
    3. are you having a good night?
    4. if he has buddies with him, I ask what brought them out tonight, besides the obvious (sometimes I'll flash him when I say this to be silly, or gesture at a gorgeous girl on stage.)
    5. as the song draws to a close (10-20 sec before end of song) So how about I dance for you next song?

    If you botch the conversation, it's ok. You're adorable.

    Hope something I said will help you. Good luck .
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
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    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
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    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  11. #11
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    Quote Originally Posted by bergdorfbrunette View Post

    Approach every table with the attitude you'd have if they had just asked the bouncer/floorhost to send you to their table.
    Love it!

    And totally agree with faking it till you make it.

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    Member angiiemarie's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to stop being such a wussie

    thanks again for the responses.... and i took no offense to the one bad one i've gotten. motivation got me a degree and a real job. this is just something i am doing to try and get over my shyness.

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