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Thread: help long

  1. #1
    Member Alianne's Avatar
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    Angry help long

    my husband is the least supportive person on the planet
    hes not very happy that im going back to school taking 5 classes this semester still having lessons 3 days a week working another job and dancing. he wants me to quit dancing and drop a class or to and i said no
    hes so paranoid about em getting raped or kidnapped that he waits up till 2 or so in the morning and were fighting constantly
    I LOVE DANCING I LOVE SCHOOL i dont think im in that much danger as long as im really careful. im always walked to me car i have mase in my hand as i drive and the other night when a cop pulled me over i pulled over called 911 to makew sure it was a cop (the cop was very proud of me lol for checking since he just wanted to make sure i had a seatbelt on) (which i didnt ild forgotten i was tired no ticket though) but hes not being supportive of me dancing, and when it comes to school he doesnt like that im taking so many classes but the piano teacher that they just hired played at CARNAGIE HALL i had to take her classes shes only going to be there for a year so i signed up for 2 extra ones which i may drop one anyway just becasue its boring its going over the same things i already learned (the teacher reccomended i drop it so someone els who could use it could pick it up)
    but the main fight is me dancing
    i just dont understand it
    we finally have some money!
    we can stop living off of really cheap food and water
    we can go see a movie in the theaters with are friends
    he can go out and buy a fishing pole
    he can buy things to play wiht his car

    does anyone have somestrong arguments i might be able to use to convince him that this IS okay? Its not like hes from a conventional family his mother is fine with this ( iddint tell his grandma cuz shes old and i dont wanna shock her) but i have no idea what to say
    Help Please!!!!
    I am your heart




  2. #2
    Senior Member xoxo24's Avatar
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    Default Re: help long

    One thing that Ive found about men is that theyre either going to support you 100% or theyre not. Have there been any other incidents in the past that would cause him to be so paranoid where you're concerned? Are you spending enough time with him outside of classes? That could be it...he's probably just missing the hell out of you and feels that you're possibly over exerting yourself....

    I wouldnt worry about it too much. Just try to sit down and have a talk with him. Express your concerns, just as you have here..and let him know that everything that you're doing now is for the long term.......

    Good luck ma!

  3. #3
    God/dess
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    Default Re: help long

    Quote Originally Posted by Alianne View Post
    he wants me to quit dancing and drop a class or to and i said no. hes so paranoid about em getting raped or kidnapped that he waits up till 2 or so in the morning and were fighting constantly
    I'd ask myself if the rape/kidnap is really what your husband is concerned about.

    Us males can be a bit territorial, and he may have issues with you being naked/flirting with strangers. As you said, his main dislike is you dancing, although he may also have issues with not seeing a lot of you if you're spending all your time at classes or dancing.

    There are two sides to every story and I'd try to see things a little through his eyes as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alianne View Post
    does anyone have some strong arguments i might be able to use to convince him that this IS okay? Help Please!!!!
    We can't have everything we want in this life - sometimes some degree of compromise is necessary. You have a pretty clear idea of what you want to do, and you don't seem to be giving your husband very much choice in the matter. If you're in a happy marriage, his views should count for something as well.

    OK, you've got money now, and you have a better life style. Depends if your husband sees the better lifestyle as fair compensation for something he's clearly unhappy about.

    I think you're going to have to sit down and talk with your husband about what his *real* concerns are. It might be you can't do all the classes you want to or dance as often as you want to. Similarly, he's going to have to accept that you dancing benefits the pair of you financially, (and so longer term hopefully will your classes).

    If you don't reach some degree of compromise with your husband something will have to give - and that could be your marriage.

    Phil.

  4. #4
    Senior Member ITgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: help long

    Instead of talking at him (men are not verbal creatures by nature) make sure you give him wild passionate sex and really amazing blowjobs on a very regular basis. Tell him (in breathy whispers while snuggling naked in bed) that you think of him the whole time you are at work, and by the time you get home you're about to explode with your lust for him. Then follow up with a super sample of that lust...

    I'm dead serious. Men are territorial, like Phil-W said. And not only are you away a lot, but you are away and naked with tons of guys!

    Let him know with your actions, even if you have to go into pornstar mode, how much you are devoted to him. He'll back off.

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