It's ironic I find myself on this site tonight. I had an incident last night that many dancers could learn from. Here's the Central Takeaway:
Sometimes a fellow human being who happens to have a Y chromosome really just wants to be your friend!!! Not every man has an agenda! Just know that there are some men out there who genuinely DON'T CARE about your job and only care about your looks if you have a personality to match them.
Why do I say this?
Before I proceed, let me give you some background information about myself. For starters, I have dated four dancers in my life for extended periods of time. I say this NOT to brag, but merely to point out that I understand the amount of shit you guys put up with at work. Men can do some bizarre, and despicable, things when they're in a strip club and the general rules of polite society don't seem to apply. I understand. Furthermore, I am currently semi (though not particularly seriously) dating, and shagging, three women. I say this not to brag, but merely to explain why I didn't care about shagging this particular woman on a night when I was hanging out with my friends and keeping it a low key.
Here's some background on the woman in question: Let's not kid ourselves...she's FUCKING PSYCHO!!! Seriously, she once sliced a guy's tires when she thought he was cheating on her (he wasn't). She's the epitome of the dancer who has become a little TOO cynical about men and has lost the ability to carry out a genuine social interaction with a man who doesn't particularly want to fuck her.
Moving along, the woman in question works at the same club as one of my closest, most happily married, female friends. Said female friend had invited me to the bar in question, which her husband manages, last night. The purpose of said meeting was to watch the giants/dallas game and have a low key Sunday night.
So much for that plan...
The bar in question is right up the street from the club where my friends and Crazy Girl in Question (CGIQ) work. As such, the girls from the club tend to hang out there on Sundays when the club is closed. Makes sense, right?
Of course it makes sense.
Moving along, CGIQ has never attended one of these Sunday soirées. The second I saw her, I knew there would be trouble. There was A LOT of trouble.
A few examples:
Earlier in the evening, the bar was populated by several drunk men who had attended the game of one of our local football teams. Typical drunk guys after a football game. They were definitely douche bags, but they were also harmless.
To be sure, one guy was hitting on CGIQ. Having said that, he wasn't threatening. Basically, he was some drunk nice guy, asking her the same drunk boring nice guy questions she's been asked 7 million times before (name, occupation, do you come here often, etc...).
CGIQ indicates her disinterest in this guy and he goes away for ten minutes.
Ten minutes later, he goes up to her, taps her on the shoulder and asks her for a cigarette. She declines. He goes back to his friends.
Thirty seconds later, in typical drunken guy fashion, one of that guys buddies pushes him and he stumbles into CGIQ. This knocks her drink onto the floor.
He apologizes and offers to pay for her drink.
That's not good enough.
CGIQ kicks this guy in the shins and screams: "I am a FEMALE!!! You cannot touch me! Do NOT disrespect me!"
Umm...personally, I think it's WAY more disrespectful to kick a guy in the shin when someone has just pushed him. This remains true even if the guy's a douche and he was, harmlessly, hitting on you ten minutes ago. Then again, maybe that's just me....
Fast forward one hour. In the intervening time, a group of drunk lesbians has entered the bar. Except for the Alpha Lesbian, the rest of these women were really annoying.
I spend most of the time hanging out with my afore mentioned married friend. Meanwhile, the drunk lesbians keep talking to me, without saying anything particularly interesting that would make me want to talk to them. This situation continues for half an hour.
Eventually, my married friend goes to the bathroom. With her gone, I have ZERO line of defense against the lesbians. They won't stop talking to me.
I attempt to engage CGIQ in conversation to keep the Lesbians at bay.
Cahnman (to CGIQ): God, those lesbians are annoying.
CGIQ: So what, does that mean you're going to talk to me?
Cahnman: That was my plan.
CGIQ: I don't think so. You're on your own with that one.
Seriously, that's what she said. Do I even need to explain this?
Finally, not too long after that, CGIQ is sitting in a different seat that puts her right next to me. Obviously, given how she's acted towards everyone, I'm not really talking to her. Having said that, the game gets a little more interesting, so I attempt to engage her in small talk about the game.
Big Mistake.
CGIQ: Why are You Hitting On Me?
Excuse Me??? What??? I was making situationally relevant small talk; I wasn't hitting on you.
There were several other examples of incredibly antisocial behavior by her, but I'll keep them to myself as to spare her some dignity.
Here's why I posted this thread on StripperWeb:
In my life, I've known MANY dancers in a variety of social settings (from Casual Friendship to Close Friendship to Casual Dating to Serious Dating). In general, I LOVE Dancers!!! There's something about getting turning guys into drooling idiots inside the club that makes most Dancers just not give a fuck in many other aspects of life. I LOVE that!!!
Having said that, a significant percentage of the dancers I've met (I'd guess about 10%) have wacky issues with Men. For these girls, many of whom had issues before they started dancing, they become unable to have normal interactions with men in their day-to-day lives. I don't understand why this happens to some girls, but it's sad.
I know enough about human psychology to know that many people tend to bring many of the perceived problems in their lives on themselves through how they perceive the world. Don't get me wrong, I know there are LOTZ of really lame guys out there; furthermore, as women of beauty who work in an area that puts you in direct contact with some of the grosser elements of male sexuality, I know you guys put up with A LOT more of this crap than the average woman. Having said all that, it's up to you to determine how you will interact with men in the hours when you're not working.
If my experience is any guide, about 90% of you will choose to be hardcore and awesome. 10% of you will choose to let these issues fester and will have issues with men. If I can help just one person reading this to understand this dynamic in her life, it will have been worth the time it took to post this.
I hope this helps.
That is all.
Cahnman out.



... funny that.

That is waaaaaaay to long to read.




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