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Thread: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

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    Default Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    It's ironic I find myself on this site tonight. I had an incident last night that many dancers could learn from. Here's the Central Takeaway:

    Sometimes a fellow human being who happens to have a Y chromosome really just wants to be your friend!!! Not every man has an agenda! Just know that there are some men out there who genuinely DON'T CARE about your job and only care about your looks if you have a personality to match them.

    Why do I say this?

    Before I proceed, let me give you some background information about myself. For starters, I have dated four dancers in my life for extended periods of time. I say this NOT to brag, but merely to point out that I understand the amount of shit you guys put up with at work. Men can do some bizarre, and despicable, things when they're in a strip club and the general rules of polite society don't seem to apply. I understand. Furthermore, I am currently semi (though not particularly seriously) dating, and shagging, three women. I say this not to brag, but merely to explain why I didn't care about shagging this particular woman on a night when I was hanging out with my friends and keeping it a low key.

    Here's some background on the woman in question: Let's not kid ourselves...she's FUCKING PSYCHO!!! Seriously, she once sliced a guy's tires when she thought he was cheating on her (he wasn't). She's the epitome of the dancer who has become a little TOO cynical about men and has lost the ability to carry out a genuine social interaction with a man who doesn't particularly want to fuck her.

    Moving along, the woman in question works at the same club as one of my closest, most happily married, female friends. Said female friend had invited me to the bar in question, which her husband manages, last night. The purpose of said meeting was to watch the giants/dallas game and have a low key Sunday night.

    So much for that plan...

    The bar in question is right up the street from the club where my friends and Crazy Girl in Question (CGIQ) work. As such, the girls from the club tend to hang out there on Sundays when the club is closed. Makes sense, right?

    Of course it makes sense.

    Moving along, CGIQ has never attended one of these Sunday soirées. The second I saw her, I knew there would be trouble. There was A LOT of trouble.

    A few examples:

    Earlier in the evening, the bar was populated by several drunk men who had attended the game of one of our local football teams. Typical drunk guys after a football game. They were definitely douche bags, but they were also harmless.

    To be sure, one guy was hitting on CGIQ. Having said that, he wasn't threatening. Basically, he was some drunk nice guy, asking her the same drunk boring nice guy questions she's been asked 7 million times before (name, occupation, do you come here often, etc...).

    CGIQ indicates her disinterest in this guy and he goes away for ten minutes.

    Ten minutes later, he goes up to her, taps her on the shoulder and asks her for a cigarette. She declines. He goes back to his friends.

    Thirty seconds later, in typical drunken guy fashion, one of that guys buddies pushes him and he stumbles into CGIQ. This knocks her drink onto the floor.

    He apologizes and offers to pay for her drink.

    That's not good enough.

    CGIQ kicks this guy in the shins and screams: "I am a FEMALE!!! You cannot touch me! Do NOT disrespect me!"

    Umm...personally, I think it's WAY more disrespectful to kick a guy in the shin when someone has just pushed him. This remains true even if the guy's a douche and he was, harmlessly, hitting on you ten minutes ago. Then again, maybe that's just me....

    Fast forward one hour. In the intervening time, a group of drunk lesbians has entered the bar. Except for the Alpha Lesbian, the rest of these women were really annoying.

    I spend most of the time hanging out with my afore mentioned married friend. Meanwhile, the drunk lesbians keep talking to me, without saying anything particularly interesting that would make me want to talk to them. This situation continues for half an hour.

    Eventually, my married friend goes to the bathroom. With her gone, I have ZERO line of defense against the lesbians. They won't stop talking to me.

    I attempt to engage CGIQ in conversation to keep the Lesbians at bay.

    Cahnman (to CGIQ): God, those lesbians are annoying.

    CGIQ: So what, does that mean you're going to talk to me?

    Cahnman: That was my plan.

    CGIQ: I don't think so. You're on your own with that one.

    Seriously, that's what she said. Do I even need to explain this?

    Finally, not too long after that, CGIQ is sitting in a different seat that puts her right next to me. Obviously, given how she's acted towards everyone, I'm not really talking to her. Having said that, the game gets a little more interesting, so I attempt to engage her in small talk about the game.

    Big Mistake.

    CGIQ: Why are You Hitting On Me?

    Excuse Me??? What??? I was making situationally relevant small talk; I wasn't hitting on you.

    There were several other examples of incredibly antisocial behavior by her, but I'll keep them to myself as to spare her some dignity.

    Here's why I posted this thread on StripperWeb:
    In my life, I've known MANY dancers in a variety of social settings (from Casual Friendship to Close Friendship to Casual Dating to Serious Dating). In general, I LOVE Dancers!!! There's something about getting turning guys into drooling idiots inside the club that makes most Dancers just not give a fuck in many other aspects of life. I LOVE that!!!

    Having said that, a significant percentage of the dancers I've met (I'd guess about 10%) have wacky issues with Men. For these girls, many of whom had issues before they started dancing, they become unable to have normal interactions with men in their day-to-day lives. I don't understand why this happens to some girls, but it's sad.

    I know enough about human psychology to know that many people tend to bring many of the perceived problems in their lives on themselves through how they perceive the world. Don't get me wrong, I know there are LOTZ of really lame guys out there; furthermore, as women of beauty who work in an area that puts you in direct contact with some of the grosser elements of male sexuality, I know you guys put up with A LOT more of this crap than the average woman. Having said all that, it's up to you to determine how you will interact with men in the hours when you're not working.

    If my experience is any guide, about 90% of you will choose to be hardcore and awesome. 10% of you will choose to let these issues fester and will have issues with men. If I can help just one person reading this to understand this dynamic in her life, it will have been worth the time it took to post this.

    I hope this helps.

    That is all.

    Cahnman out.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    I have a genuine male friend who doesn't want to fuck me. But then, I'm a heterosexual guy and so is he ... ... funny that.

    I think it's easy for a girl to have a "genuine" male friend who doesn't want to fuck her. All she has to do is be butt-ugly. Simple. Aside from that, men want to fuck just about everything female that walks. Doesn't necessarily keep the men from being "genuine friends," and I kind of disagree with the implication, that merely BECAUSE (a) he wants to fuck her, THEREFORE (b) he can't be genuine about his friendship with her.

    After all, she wants him to find her physically attractive regardless of whether or not she wants to fuck him, right? I mean, she doesn't want a friend who thinks of her as butt-ugly, does she?

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Lol, this thread kind of made me laugh.

    At the deepest man-hating period of my life, I've never once resorted to kicking or screaming at strangers unless they were being threatening. I don't think that your friend's job has as much to do with her behavior as her personality.

    Um, and I'm not too sure about what this group of lesbians has to do with the title of this thread either, but... to answer the question. I have a couple male friends... But there's only one who wouldn't fuck me if I gave him the chance and that's because he's a faithful bf to his gf. Honestly, if your friend in question wasn't crazy (and we're going to assume she's attractive), you wouldn't be interested?

    It's hard for men and women to just be friends unless they've known each other for at least a few years.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  4. #4
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    your post was too long to read.

    by the answer to the title is yes I have one genuine male friend.

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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    how is this post supposed to be "helpful" to us? I do have a few genuine male friends, and a boyfriend. When I go out, I do not enjoy being hit on by annoying horny drunk guys or having beer dropped on me. What's so wrong with that?
    with that said though, i don't really go out all that much.
    edit- I've never kicked anyone in the shins, but I did once slug a guy with my purse who wouldn't stop trying to grab me when I was walking through the club.
    Last edited by Starfire; 09-10-2007 at 04:42 PM. Reason: add something

  6. #6
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    I agree that post was loooooonnnggg, lol!
    Ill just answer the question too. Yes I have genuine male friends - several of my best friends are male and mostly I hang out with guys - mostly straight ones but a few queer ones too (-:

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    No, no that didn't help. Thanks dude

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    What the fuck... and WHY the fuck did you post this novel in the Stripping General Section!?

    To answer your question. YES.



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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Mily View Post
    What the fuck... and WHY the fuck did you post this novel in the Stripping General Section!?

    To answer your question. YES.
    I'm wondering the same thing That is waaaaaaay to long to read.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    didnt finish reading it but I have many male friends that wouldnt sleep with me even if I came on to them. But Ive always been the type to have mostly guy friends, and Ive known these particular boys for years and years. Half of them I met back in Philly. Theyre just all musicans, and we joke that Im just the obligatory token stripper.

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Ugh. Another captain save-a-ho.

    Please don't come into our forum with the intent of "saving" or "helping" anyone. If you really knew dancers, you would know we get enough of that and are sick of it. Thanks.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Mily View Post
    What the fuck... and WHY the fuck did you post this novel in the Stripping General Section!?

    To answer your question. YES.
    agreed. but this made me think of when harry met sally

    "Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends. "

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    I read the first couple paragraphs, but after that I was bored, so I quit reading. Sorry, I have a short attention span. Oooh, a bunny....

    But to answer, yes I do. We have been friends since we were kids and we always will be. It doesn't matter what happens or where we are, we are there for each other.

  14. #14
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Quote Originally Posted by 242_fair View Post
    your post was too long to read.

    by the answer to the title is yes I have one genuine male friend.

    ditto.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Yes, I have one genuine male friend.

    No, I did not read your treatise. I recommend editing yourself quite a bit. Members here will put up with a little verbosity from a long time, well-known fellow member, but no one really cares to read this much from some brand new dude.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Too long, I lost interest quickly. Psycho-strippers, blah blah, seen them for years. It comes with the territory when you work in a place where drinking, drugs, and irresponsibility are encouraged.

    I have one male friend, but he wouldn't say no if I wanted to fuck him.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Here's the cliff's notes:
    OP has very recently had a sexual relationship with CGIQ (crazy girl in question). The relationship is very open and casual.

    The OP had a recent confrontation with CGIQ.

    OP goes out with a friend and observes CGIQ trying to avoid men hitting on her.

    OP tries to strike up a conversation with CGIQ after observing her rebuffing suitors.

    CGIQ tells the OP to go away and leave her alone.

    OP feels that CGIQ has mental issues because she prefers her own company over his.


    I'm not sure what the title has to do with the story. A more aptly titled thread would have been:

    "Why don't women feel graced by my presence?"


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Yes, I have a couple male friends who don't try to fuck me and stuff. We talk from time to time but are not bff.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    I have male friends. I have no idea if they want to fuck me. It's never come up.

    It sounds to me like this girl just wanted you to leave her alone and you were refusing to oblige. I mean - whether she was in a bad mood, a bitch or just doesn't like you, why would you persistently talk to someone who has made it clear that she just wants you to leave her alone? And if a drunk guy hit on me and annoyed me repeatedly and then spilled a drink on me - I wouldn't kick him in the shins. But I'd want to. It sounds to me like you guys are jerks. I mean you start a conversation with someone who you say you don't like by saying "I'm talking to you because these people are boring me... entertain me now, please" and you wonder that she brushes you off?
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post

    I'm not sure what the title has to do with the story. A more aptly titled thread would have been:

    "Why don't women feel graced by my presence?"

    Perfect summation.

    Yes I have a few genuine male friends. Some are gay some are hetero.

    Some I have fucked and a few I haven't.
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    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  21. #21
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Geez, I have female friends, both physically attractive and unattractive, that I socialize with, drink with, laugh with, play sports with, and so on. I mean, what's the issue?

    It's a little tiresome. "I know someone who...." "Therefore, I assume that everyone in their class is..."

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    ive always wanted to use this lolcat

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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    What a wank-fest that was.

    Typical Nice Guy(TM) drivel.

  24. #24
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    Thanks Paris. I was never going to read all that.

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    Default Re: Click Here if You Have One GENUINE Male Friend

    ARGH! I read all of it and i still don't get the point of it all.

    Regardless, I do have on male friend .. he's my flatmate and has been for near on or just over a decade (I've forgotten). He's more like a brother to me than a flatmate. Early on in the friendship he tried and made it clear the offer was on the table yet I squashed that without hurting our friendship. So we have been able to be good friends for ages now without 'sex' mudding up the picture.


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