I don't know what do to anymore. I really got the one thing i really wanted, and that was to be with my boyfriend, but now it seems like that is the only thing that is really going for me. It was actually my dream to have what i have now, and now i have it. Its not that anything else in my life is bad, no bad things are happening no drama, nothing. I just don't have anything to do, and i am starting too feel a mid 20's crisis. I know i am not old,but i feel i should have more going for me careerer wise, and its not. I have not gotten a job since i moved here. I am kinda of afraid to get a job because my language skill are limited. I can understand a lot more, but i can't easily figure out how to respond. So i am afraid to make phone calls for job offers. I know it takes time to be able to speak it, but i just want to be able to do it now.
I need to get a job soon because my boyfriend will be going back to the Uni soon. That means his working day will be limited and that means income is gonna be limited. So he and his family tell me i need to get any kind of job, for visa purposes. And i know that of course and i have been looking for one since i arrived here. I have to get one before December because my current visa I dunno if i want a normal job. I don't feel i am cut out for mundane normal jobs, despite the fact i should not poopoo them for a visa at least. Whenever i have had a job that wasn't entertainment of some sort, i was miserable. So it suck to have to do it foreign country.
I wanted to attend a Uni but i have to speak german well and have a certificate that says i do in order to do that i need to take expensive language classes that i don't think is in our budget at this point in time. And have a better education than an american high school diploma, so i will have to go to a lower sort of college before i go to a Uni.
I dunno what to do really





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but im not sure if i should bring that up with my guy.


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