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Thread: 3 fun stories

  1. #1
    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default 3 fun stories

    I don't know what it is....PMS? Here are 3 funny stories from last night, all ending with me being sarcastic. Please don't take these the wrong way, I'm actually really nice to customers all of the time (no need to be lectured), unless they are being rude or obnoxious. Then, I don't give 5 fucks. This is the beauty in this job.











    *At the beginning of the night, some guy checked me out up and down, so naturally I went over to him. We were making about 2 minutes of small talk, and then I asked him “Would you like to go to the back?” and he gave me this long hard look that said Come on, you know you just want my money (which is exactly right). So then he tried to direct the conversation elsewhere, but I persisted.
    ME: “Do you want to have some real fun now?”
    HIM: “I think so. I’ve been here all day now” (CUE: Sirens going off in my head)
    Then he looked around the club and pointed out the CR hostess (who wears fancy clothes, not the regular waitress uniform). “What does she do? Is she a manager or something?”….very poor way of trying to redirect the convo
    ME (exasperated): “No, she’s the champagne hostess. Look, do you want to go or not? Because I have to work, and I need a direct response now.”
    HIM: “Oh, ok, you go ahead and make your money.”


    *A group of 20-something men were sitting at a table, and I approached one of them. We made some small talk, then I asked “So do you want to go in the back for a dance?”
    HIM (smirking, leaning back, rubbing his chin): “Maybe. But first, why should I pick you over all these other girls?”
    ME (smiling, rolling eyes): “Because I’m fucking awesome. Ready?”
    HIM: “Wait. You’re going to have to convince me that you’re the best.”
    ME: “Look, damn you. This isn’t a college application essay. I’m not going to sit around here begging you for a damn dance, I’m not desperate. I’m better than that.”
    Then I walked away, cackling manically.

    **I hate it when guys do this. They are basically asking you to be a catty bitch and say how much better you are than the other girls there. Yet, men love to complain how “girls are such bitches/so catty/talk about other girls all the time/etc.”



    *2 REALLY obnoxious college-soccer butch type girls sitting by the stage, with a group of guys. The worst type of female customer EVER, the kind who frequent SCs to degrade other women, just to prove they are above strippers. Club-dancing in the aisles. SUPER ANNOYING. They had their damn dollars and were waving it at the girls on stage, saying shit like “You want this, you better WORK for it! WOOOO!!!!” And whenever any girl was on stage, yelling “POLE! POLE! GO TO THE TOP OF THE POLE!” and pointing at the top of the pole screaming. When I got on stage, I took forever to get to them, then kneeled down in front of them to accept their tips. It was almost the end of my song, and they both stuffed the dollars in my thong. Then the one hit my tit and slapped my ass. I leaned back, gave her my best fake-ghetto “Oh-no-you-did-not-bitch” look, and then slapped her face (not too hard, but hard enough to get my point across). I laughed the whole way off stage.

  2. #2
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: 3 fun stories

    Quote Originally Posted by cutey503 View Post
    I
    *A group of 20-something men were sitting at a table, and I approached one of them. We made some small talk, then I asked “So do you want to go in the back for a dance?”
    HIM (smirking, leaning back, rubbing his chin): “Maybe. But first, why should I pick you over all these other girls?”
    ME (smiling, rolling eyes): “Because I’m fucking awesome. Ready?”
    HIM: “Wait. You’re going to have to convince me that you’re the best.”
    ME: “Look, damn you. This isn’t a college application essay. I’m not going to sit around here begging you for a damn dance, I’m not desperate. I’m better than that.”
    Then I walked away, cackling manically.
    When they say, "why should I get a dance from you?" I say, "You shouldn't, I'm the worst," then I laugh and grab their hand. It works 99% of the time.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  3. #3
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    Default Re: 3 fun stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    When they say, "why should I get a dance from you?" I say, "You shouldn't, I'm the worst," then I laugh and grab their hand. It works 99% of the time.
    I do this, too! Especially when they ask 'Do you give a GOOD ld?' 'No, no, they're terrible. Let's go'

  4. #4
    miss marina
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    Default Re: 3 fun stories

    ^ you slapped her? LOL wow that made me laugh!! Did they get up and leave or just stay and glare @ you?

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: 3 fun stories

    They stayed....I think they realized they were being really disrespectful to all of us though, and toned it down a LOT!

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: 3 fun stories

    Andygirl & Rose, those are great responses!! I'm going to try it out tonight if it happens!

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