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Thread: Public speaking

  1. #1
    Kaylinn
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    Default Public speaking

    I have a MASSIVE fear of speaking in public. Unfortunatly, I have to take a public speaking class this semester. My first speech was this monday. My heart was pounding all day long. I couldn
    't sleep the night before. I was in full panic attack mode. I volunteered to go first, o get it over with. I walked up to the podium shaking. I began my speach. The more I spoke, the worse I shook. About 1 minute into the speech, I blacked out.

    I cannot speak in public. I can stand naked in front of 3,000 people, but I can't talk.
    Same goes for video cameras. I can pose for a still camera no problem, but if it's video, I freeze up and can't move. If I have to actually speak in front of the camera, panic attack time.

    How do I get over this? I was actually thinkign of askign my doctor for a prescription for klonopin to take before my speaches. I had a well written speech prepared. It could have been awesome..but instead, I turn beet red, stutter through it, and black out.

    Help!

  2. #2
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    I think the best way is to practice in front of people you trust. Maybe start off just rehearsing your speech in front of one of your best friends. If you can get through that, try 3 or 4 friends. If you can get through that, you should be okay with a class.

    Just remember, just about everyone hates getting in front of people. Especially since it's for a class, probably everyone in there is so nervous about their own presentation, they probably have no idea what you are saying. I've been in a lot of public speaking classes,a nd I know I always tuned everyone out, I was so busy rehearsing my own speech in my head.

    It may also help to rationally think about WHY you are afraid. What is the absolute worst outcome? If you get up there and deliver a terrible speech, what's the worst that can happen? Your friends will still love you, you'll still have your talents, you'll be alright.

    It might help to just prepare more effectively. I know that if I am overprepared, it's so much easier once I get up there. If you any tips, feel free to PM me.

    And I know some people who just did one shot before class. I didn't, but those that were very nervous, to the point of panic attack, sai dthat one shot was enough to take the worst of the nervousness away, without affecting their ability to present.

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    Featured Member Ava Jadore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    I wish I could be more helpful but I am the exact same way you are. I find I do better if I remember to take deep breathes and find one person in the audience that I can look at when I feel nervous. There is almost always some who will smile or give a comforting look when I start to get nervous and that helps to calm me down a little. I can be naked in front of a room full of people and be just fine...just don't ask me to do a speech haha! Also if there is anyone one you could practice with that helps me too. When I have to make presentations for classes I practice in front of SO and some of our friends...it helps me to run through the whole thing ahead of time as if I were doing it for real. Good luck to you...I feel your pain!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  4. #4
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    I joked with my boyfriend I was gonna do a shot before class.

    I rehearsed my speech in front of him..and even then I was nervous. Not nearly as bad...but heart still pounding, face flushed, palms sweaty, stuttering speech.

    I honestly don't know WHY I have this fear. I'm not a shy girl.
    I tried to pretned I was on stage at work, I walked up and said Hi, everyone. Cause that's what I do when I get on stage at work. Well, I say, Hello, boys, all flirty. But tried that.....as soon as I started my speech tho...heart starts pounding so hard.

    I treied some meditation/visualization techniques I read online, but still....they don't help once I'm up there.

    Even if I'm sitting in my chair in class, to ask a question make my heart pound.

  5. #5
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    It seems like your problem may be because you aren't sure exactly what to say. Like at work almost a routine to be flirty. But when you ask a question or give a speech, you're nervous it won't come out right, or you'll sound silly.

    Do you use notecards? I wouldn't recommend writing down everything, because that will sound funny, but I put major points in outline form, quotes, etc. That way if I get flustered or confused, I can glance down and recover. There's been times where I've practiced off the cards so much, I never look down, but just having them is very calming and reassuring.

    It might help to start the speech by involving the audience, it builds a relationship, which would make you more comfortable, but also make sthe speech more engaging. Ask a question, or tell a story to start.

    For instance, I gave a speech on the Gerber baby food crisis (there were posioned bottles of food with the note 'you just fed your child poison' on the bottom"), so I started off by asking everyone who wanted kids. Once some people raised their hands, I said "Imagine you're feeding your baby. You're doing the little airplane thing, you finally get him to eat...you go to throw the bottle away, an dyou find a note that says "blah blah blah". That's what happened in..."

    By starting informally but still relating to your speech, that could help.

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    You know, I'm not a fan of drinking but if a drink is what you need. Then maybe you should have a shot..lol
    Seriously maybe drinking chamomile tea will help to calm your nerves.

    I had a problem w/ speaking in public. My face used to get hot and turn bright tomato red right before I had to talk from the anxiety I was feeling. Which only made me more nervous. Someone suggested I joined the debate team in high school.
    Believe or not it helped cure me and now I can get up in front anyone and say whatever I have to. I talk all the time now without getting nervous.
    Well, unless it's someone I really like.
    I think the more you get up in front of your class and deliver your speeches the easier it'll become. Before you know it you'll be doing w/o a second thought.
    My new love...is me !

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    preparation is the key. know your material inside out and just practise it in front of a mirror over and over until you don't have to anymore.

    fear of public speaking is like any other fear - you can get over it by exposing yourself to it repeatedly. (like starting with a little spider for me.... eep).

    this class will be great for you - and by the end of it you'll be set. it's just like getting your top off the first time... scary, then it's no big deal and you wonder why you cared.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Public speaking

    I'm not a big fan of public speaking either, and I did the whole course thing....but a couple of things that helped....

    1) practice in front of a mirror.
    2) Force yourself to speak slowly
    3) Practice, practice, practice
    4) Do the "triagle" while doing your speach.

    essentially the triage just makes you walk to a point for each subject/point you talk about.

    So you start with the intro, walk 3-4 steps forward and to the right, then walk across to the left, and back to where you started. The idea is that it gets rid of enegy during you speach as you are moving.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Practice speaking out loud. Practice more than merely saying the words ; project your voice, hear yourself speak.

    There is another element to consider: what do you think of yourself? You must understand that the voice you add is as vital as anyone. If you are worried about the clarity of mind that you present then I can tell you that every one of your posts that I have ever read are sensical and vital.

    Speaking is one thing, believing in yourself is quite another.

    As for me, what sort of blustering blabber-mouth am I? Well, in the world of spoken words I am hesitant and speak with gaps. It is not that I am unable to speak coherently but rather that I struggle to put thoughts together in an immediate fashion. I can speak effectively when given the time to construct and practice but I'd be a virtual dummy at improv. I'm envious of people that have that certain sparkle to their speech. They bubble, they effervesce, they pout and I enjoy them.

    To speak effectively before a crowd, project your voice when you practice. This speaking out loud stuff enjoys a long held tradition. I cannot recall the name, but one of the great Greek orators would practice with gravel in his mouth ... maybe chewing gum will work for you.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Well, I admire you, Kaylinn. I can speak well in front of people--do it for part of my living--but if I had to take my clothes off in front of a room of people I would black out. Not to mention that I'm sure people would run for the exits.

    I actually think the fact that you have such a fear of speaking means that one day you will be a great speaker, seriously. When I was younger I had EXACTLY the same reactions that you do--shaking, thinking about it all night, fear almost to the point of passing out. When I transferred from one school to another I actually managed to convince the new school I'd had speech class and get credit for it, even though I'd never had speech class anywhere--just to avoid speaking in front of a class. I would--and did--rather take an "F" in an assignment than have to get up and do an oral report.

    I never did have a formal class in speaking. I think they address some ideas about how to do it, and are probably very helpful, but in the end there is a spiritual aspect to speaking which might be something that you, as a performer, will identify more with. I'm guessing, but I'll bet when you are dancing you are not that aware of yourself--that you are almost like a spirit in the room, you know what I mean? The nervousness, which you probably still have before you get on stage and I certainly do before I speak, comes from awareness of the self--the self going up in front of other eyes. When I feel it now, I think: well, yes, I'm afraid, but I'll just do the best I can. I look at my audience and ask if they can hear me all right--and they nod, usually, and I see their eyes wanting to accept me. I think of them, truly, as a group of friends, and I think about how I have something I really want to say to them. And then I feel maybe like you do dancing--I become a spirit in the room and, truthfully, I'm not even aware that I have arms and legs. I'm just talking, I'm with these eyes, I take confidence from heads that are nodding. We all go on a journey together.

    It has been written here that preparation is important. That is really true. You need to have a good idea of what you are going to say, in the same way that when you dance your body is familiar with its own movement; Winston Churchill, who was deathly afraid of speaking, practiced everything very carefully in a mirror, even when he was the prime minister of England and had been doing it forever. A couple of years ago I had a major speech in front of about two thousand people (for a college ceremony). I was pretty relaxed...and lost my place in my notes! Ever since, I've made sure that I'm checking everything carefully beforehand, and I even prepare for screwing up--for what jokes I might make if I lose my place again. And then I go out and just do the best I can, and I try to embrace my audience. I think they feel that embrace...most of all, if you are honest with people, as in everything else, they'll respond and they'll be pulling for you.

    You'll be GREAT at this: trust me. Don't avoid it. Embrace it, and learn about it. I'm willing to bet that you have a hidden talent for it, and it will be fun for you to discover this. Each time it will get a little easier, and you'll learn a little more about yourself. What a great adventure you have ahead of you.
    JK Jim

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    i took this class and NEVER got through it without shaking/turning red and stumbling over words.

    My teacher was DAMN HARD too. He understood my anziety and that i tried hard so it all worked out in the end. The class was a lot about progress made so it helped.

  12. #12
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Sooo...I got my grade back for my first speech.

    I got 100%!!!!!!!!!

    She even wrote comments on my outline like Wow- great introduction
    Perfect conclusion - Great job!

    Guess she didn't grade based on my stuttering....

  13. #13
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Good job, Kaylinn!

    I totally feel the stress. My problem is that I stop breathing, so I'm not actually exhaling when I speak and my chest just keeps getting tighter and tighter. It SUCKS!

    To add to the excellent advice that's already been given:

    1.) Try coming in as a role. Come out as "K-Money the Rockin Beeyotch" or something. The important thing is that it's not you, so YOU can relax and let the role do the talking.
    2.) If it's possible with the assignment, involve the audience. For me, it's totally easy to hold a conversation but totally impossible to give a speech. So if I try to get the audience's participation, usually by asking or answering questions, it takes a LOT of pressure off me and makes me feel like this is just a normal sorta chat, nothing to stress over.
    3.) In the same vein, pull a Carrot Top and involve props! Drink from a bottle of water, use visual aids, share handouts. Again, the point is to give you a moment when you can breathe and recoup.

    If I took my own advice I think I'd do a lot better!


  14. #14
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    That's great honey! I personally love public speaking, but when I performed in a dance company, we would always bring booze to the performance venue and have a glass before we performed, to smooth out the shakes and stiffness.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Can you video record yourself?

    When I took public speaking we each had to bring in a VCR tape and record each speech we gave! Then we had to watch the tape and write a short essay about what we did right, what we did wrong and how we'll correct it next time. Let me tell you it was painful watching that tape; I would cringe and wince every time. :shudder: BUT, it was very helpful in the long run because we were able to identify mannerisms (shifting, hair flipping) and behaviors/patterns (um, uh) that detracted from our speech.

    btw you could totally hear my voice quavering and see my hands trembling on the video tape...I was scared as FOOK! but as the semester progressed I was able to gain more confidence and smooth out my presentations. As HORRIBLE as it was to have to record myself, it was probably the most important contributor to my improvment.


  16. #16
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveSexMoney View Post
    Can you video record yourself?

    When I took public speaking we each had to bring in a VCR tape and record each speech we gave! Then we had to watch the tape and write a short essay about what we did right, what we did wrong and how we'll correct it next time. Let me tell you it was painful watching that tape; I would cringe and wince every time. :shudder: BUT, it was very helpful in the long run because we were able to identify mannerisms (shifting, hair flipping) and behaviors/patterns (um, uh) that detracted from our speech.

    btw you could totally hear my voice quavering and see my hands trembling on the video tape...I was scared as FOOK! but as the semester progressed I was able to gain more confidence and smooth out my presentations. As HORRIBLE as it was to have to record myself, it was probably the most important contributor to my improvment.
    Good call! The hubby did that when he was going through college for musical education--nothing like watching yourself perform!

    Come to think of it, mebbe I should get a friend to record me at the club. Who knows what I'll learn from playing it back!


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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Congratulations--see!--I think you're on your way to becoming a great speaker. You'll probably make a living giving motivational speeches one day!

    This is really great news, and thanks for letting us know.
    JK Jim

  18. #18
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    So how many people are in your class?

    Mine is only 1/2 a semester long at at nite, so in my mind there are "only" 10 ppl in it! We shall see.

    I only public spoke once when I ran for secretary in hs. I was all pumped and confident and wrote my speech with something similar to "reduce reuse recycle" all these R's and shit...went up there an BAM!! I felt like a slug someone poured salt on. I did not understand. But I schmoozed afterwards so cutely that I won. But it was kinda hellish. I feel ya.

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    God/dess LAChloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    My little brother has this problem. He got into the business school at UofA, but withdrew because they had too many public speaking requirements. He still had to take one class where he had to speak in front of people, and he used to take shots before his speeches. It sucks...but it's what he had to do to earn his degree.

  20. #20
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Thanks everyone!
    The next speech will be easier, it's a demonstration speech, not an introduction. Half the reason I was so freaked out about the introduction speech was because I was sharing some personal information and was uncomfortable with that.

    Plus, the demonstration speech I will have props, something to do with my hands, something else to focus on than all the people staring at me.

    I think I'm gonna demonstrate how to make the perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Gotta speak for 5 minutes.

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Heh....when I was in my speech class, a gal in the class was a dancer...she asked me if I wanted to help with her speech. For her Demonstration Speech, she stripped. Not entirely of course, but plenty...and danced on my lap. A lot. That was friggin awesome. There's a college fantasy I never thought could exist. I was so glad to help out. I'm a giver.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
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    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    I've always relished it but toastmasters is pretty great.

    Betweening pickup, singing, and various forms of activism, I find myself in front of crowds pretty regularly.

    I dunno about the people you trust thing. Some people are less afraid in front of strangers. Try both. Join some form of public speaking club, there is one in almost every city. Toastmasters is the most famous/popular.

    The FEAR goes away with practice. You just get more comfortable with practice. Same with the technical details of a speech. I've had to actually modify how I write to write speeches I can orate comfortably.

    The speech level singing programs have helped me a lot with vocal power in general, I highly recommend them. There are various teachers but Roger Love is the guy I've learned the most from.

    The stuff in college was a piece of cake.

  23. #23
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Big hug babe, it gets easier believe me.

  24. #24
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    yeah it gets easier the more you do it. It actually gets fun and feels empowering and gives you tons of confidence- you can totally do it. The PBJ demonstration sounds like it will be easy and fun. Good luck!! I was horrible with public speaking in high school and then my senior year I joined the debate team to get over it, and since then I've been fine in front of crowds.

  25. #25
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Public speaking

    Update:

    I am delivering my final speech for class on Monday.

    My teacher told me I have consistantly delivered the best speeches in class. I discovered I am very good at writing speeches.

    Although the anxiety has lesened, it still exists. I don't think it will ever go away, but I have learned how to deal with it. When my heart starts pounding and I get shakey, I just stop and take a deep breathe before continuing.

    I have really enjoyed this class and actually am concidering taking another speech class just to further improve my skills and help conquer my anxiety.

    Knowing how to speak eloquently and effectivly is always a good skill to have for any profession, or just in life.

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