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Thread: Long post 1st time bouncer friend who's trying to get it....

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    Senior Member IsabellaRouma's Avatar
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    Default Long post 1st time bouncer friend who's trying to get it....

    Let me start by saying that even before I started dancing I had a few basic dating rules/habits:

    1) I NEVER date anyone I go to school with/from campus, or from work (any job).

    2) I don't go to bars or clubs expecting, hoping to or wanting to meet men.

    3) I never hit on bouncers (at any club, bar or restaurant) or give them my digits, for obvious reasons (bouncers get WAY too much pussy).

    4) I don't date Caribbean men.

    Which brings me to the current dilemma...

    My club is family owned and has a very familial atmosphere. Our management treats us like fam, the resident dancers/cocktail waitress are like sisters (and we have 4 sets of actual sisters) and our bouncers (2 of who are twin brothers and 2 of whom are cousins) really look out for us and the club. They do whatever we need them to, treat us with respect 24/7, compliment us when we look nice but don't hit on us, etc. Our main manager bring in fruit for us a few times a week, just redecorated our dressing room, is always willing to listen to our problems, I bake (cookies, etc.) stuff for my coworkers pretty often. I pop in to say a quick hi if I'm out with friends who want to see what a strip club is like.

    Basically, it's a comfortable environment with some pretty cool people (although we still have our share drama, the girls who cause it are usually fired ASAP).

    SO, one of my bouncers and I talk pretty often. When it's slow for me, I hang out at the door with him and we talk. We have pretty good conversations about family, dating, work, philosophy, music, sex, and whatever we happen to be in the mood to talk about. We've been trying to find the time to go running or work out together, but haven't quite gotten around to it. Having said all this, he's occasionally (whenever he's had a Corona or too) very flirtatious with me, but always respectful. I kind of figured he must be that way with everyone. He's cute, has a nice body and he's kinda dorky. For example, he's always talking about how "bad" he can be, even though he's a good guy. Does it get any dorkier than that?

    He gave me his number and email address about a week ago. He had a birthday this week and I offered to take him out to dinner. Long story short, I had a busy evening and we had drinks instead of dinner last night. I bought the first round, he bought the second, we talked about our families, getting older, lots of other stuff, listened the music, etc. He did lots of flirting:

    Him: Can I tell you something?
    Me: Maybe.
    Him: I love the way men look at you when you're dancing.
    Me: How do they look at me?
    Him: They look so... happy!

    A bit of convo later...

    Him: What do you like?
    Me: I like lots of things.
    Him: You make me very curious.
    Me: Why?
    Him: Because you're always smiling and you're always thinking.

    Lots of convo later

    Him: What do you like? What are your sensitive spots? (not the exact wording, but the gist I can remember)
    Me: No use torturing you with something you'll never get to experience first hand.

    I reciprocated about 30%. About halfway through the evening, he's got his arm around my waist and is kind of rubbing my back.

    Me: I have a very sensitive back.
    Him: So you're feeling this all your body then, huh?
    Me: (Big smile)
    Him: (Kisses me on the cheek)

    So, he walks me to my car, I get in, he tells me how incredibly sexy I am, I say thanks, I had fun. He kisses me on the cheek, but almost right next to my lips. I tell him I'll see on Saturday (at work) and he closes the door.

    I drive 5 mins to get home, hop into bed and have several long, rabbit assisted orgasms. I'm generally a horny drunk, but the great company, comfort level and lingering fingers on my back helped too.

    Then of course, I felt the need to send him a text message:
    "Just helped myself to a nice long orgasm... Thank-you for a very stimulating evening ;-)"

    His response:
    "No! Thank you! I needed it! Thanks for getting me out. Wish I could see or even just hear you cum. Next time I hope I'm off (from his day job) the next day."

    So I'm kinda tickled pink by all of this for a few reasons:

    1) I'm very tall, he's about 3 or 4 inches short than me before I put my heels on, maybe more. He thinks that hot.

    2) While I don't really believe in "leagues," I'm WAY out of his.

    3) I can't quite tell, but I suspect he may be a very gentlemanly anti-relationship slut.

    4) I have a 6th sense when I comes to sex that's pretty much never wrong and my sixth sense says we'd have out of this world sex and connect really well, but he's not going to get it.

    I'm thinking the next time we talk or go out, I may say something like "You know I really love sex, especially good sex, but from the conversations we've had it seems like you're looking for fun (says he's given up on dating 'cus he hates the games and the bullshit) and I know I'm looking for a loving stable relationship that has the strong potential for a future that includes marriage and lots of babies, so unfortunately we won't get to indulge...")

    What do you think? Should I even bother?
    "Emancipate Yourselves From Mental Slavery; None but Ourselves Can Free Our Minds." ~Bob Marley

  2. #2
    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long post 1st time bouncer friend who's trying to get it....

    You put a lot into this post so you're obviously interested. I tend to think that dating within the club is inviting a higher potential for drama.

    For instance, right now he likes to watch how the men drool over you as you give them attention. But how would he feel if you got serious/involved? Men can be territorial (as can women).

    I would maintain the flirting but I wouldn't go out with him off the premises again. That would be WAY too tempting.

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