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Thread: Hm. What do you guys think?

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Hm. What do you guys think?

    K just asked me to think about moving to Eugene early next year (around February or March). We both love our lives in Hollywood, but it's getting more and more expensive every year. K said he loves me and he can't keep watching me get ground down like I've been; I get depressed a lot and he says it will be the death of our relationship if my situation doesn't improve. His best friend is going to law school in Eugene, and I liked central Oregon when we were there, and usually when I do those "describe your ideal town" things on the internet, they tell me I should be in Eugene.

    OTOH, K is a native Angeleno and I'm not sure how well he'd take to living in Oregon. He'd still have to work in L.A. a lot, and he says he can crash with friends when he works in L.A. And he works out of town a lot anyway. I could still dance in Oregon, and in a much less stressful environment. Basically he says he loves me and wants to stay with me, and he thinks that probably means getting me out of L.A. where I won't be so freaked about money.

    I'm just not sure what to think. I mean, he's right. But I have a life here. And I've got my film contacts, my friends, and school. I'm applying to the PhD programs at UCLA and USC (and at UC Santa Barbara). I had hoped to move to Santa Barbara next fall but it's going to be expensive there too, and who knows if I'll get a fellowship big enough to live on. I'm pretty sure the university in Eugene hasn't got a cinema studies PhD program. If we move to Eugene, I may not be able to go for my PhD, and I might lose my film contacts (although at this point K still plans to stay in the business, and his contacts are better than mine anyway).

    Oh, and I should mention that I don't really like his best friend, the guy who already lives in Eugene. We can tolerate each other but he's a misogynist prick. K agrees that the guy is a misogynist prick but loves him anyway. So this guy isn't really a friend of mine at all and I'm not hugely thrilled by the idea of staying in his house while we look for a place, or hanging out with him on a regular basis.

    I dunno, I dunno, I dunno. So many pros and cons. What do y'all think?
    Last edited by Yekhefah; 09-14-2007 at 07:06 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Well, I don't think anyone who's read more than two of your posts here would hesitate to tell you to GET THE HELL OUT OF LA, WE'VE BEEN LISTENING TO HOW MISERABLE IT MAKES YOU FOR TWO YEARS! Moving to Oregon sounds like it would be a great change and I am a little surprised that you're uncertain about it. Lord knows I love it here and so do a lot of other people.

    On a serious note, if you are moving to OR, why Eugene? Because of OU? Consider living in Portland for a year while establishing residency if that's the case. More jobs, laid back atmosphere, and still affordable. Dancing in Eugene is not ideal -- I don't know if you were planning to strip in OR but Paris lives near there and won't set foot in the Eugene clubs.

    There's a pretty significant film community in Portland and projects film here quite frequently. You might be at a disadvantage if you want to pursue your PhD but now that you're thinking about leaving CA you can start exploring programs elsewhere.

    Seriously, what is keeping you there? Go back and read your own posts on the subject!

  3. #3
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    ^ I agree with the Portland idea. You don't have to chose to live in the exact city his friend lives in.

    I don't think living in LA is worth all the stress it's putting you under. It sounds like the city is taking more from you than it is giving back. Your man is awesome for thinking of you like that. Because, obviously, you wouldn't want to move without him.

    Sometimes it's better to trade the things you think you have to have (LA) for a quality of life that will make you much happier.

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    He wants to move to Eugene because his best friend lives there (he's going to law school at OU). It also seems like the kind of town I'd like - lots of hiking and trees and a funky art community. I'd be open to Portland too but I think K is pushing Eugene because he has his friend there.

    OU doesn't seem to have a PhD program that fits me. That's another of my concerns; I do want that PhD, and I'd lose my California residency tuition at UCLA and UCSB if we moved.

    I'm concerned about the stripping environment because I know Oregon money isn't great, but there is the lower cost of living to compensate. I guess I'd have to dance because I don't know what else I'd do; maybe there might be a community college I could teach at. I'm concerned about shutting myself out of the film industry but I'm not that active in it these days anyway. I guess the main things stopping me are the fear of change, and all the things I love about life in Hollywood, and my PhD goal, and just not knowing whether I would be able to make more money there. I mean, it's a pretty big step, you know?

    And I'm worried about moving K to Oregon. I already dragged my ex-husband to Australia, and it made him extremely miserable. I don't want K to get to Oregon and bitch because he's always cold and there is no good sushi and he can't find clothes he likes. I mean, he's REALLY a native Angeleno. He's very L.A. And yes, it does mean a lot to me that he volunteered to move so that we could be happier together, even though he loves it here.

  5. #5
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    maybe there might be a community college I could teach at.
    Nice. Have you checked into Southern Cali too?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I'm concerned about shutting myself out of the film industry but I'm not that active in it these days anyway.
    I understand, but your happiness should come first. And nobody's going to pass on a great script just because you don't live in LA anymore. You'll have friends to come out and stay with if you have meetings or whatever.

    Maybe it would be ideal for you to stay in Southern Cali, but definitely doing something that gives you peace of mind.

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    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    I think you should go for it! Change is good.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    This is really weird. My boyfriend, out of nowhere, really wants us to move up to Portland. I've been looking for apartments, reading guide books, and doing as much research as possible.

    I don't know how expensive Hollywood is, but many of the places I found online were not THAT much cheaper than San Diego. Eugene is probably less pricey than Portland.

    As far as moving K, isn't it his idea?

    Overall, you don't sound happy about your life in LA. It's a trip to read this, because I'm going through something really similar.

    You danced in Bend and loved it right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Helle View Post
    ::WARNING:: stripperweb does not contain the views of any actual strippers ::WARNING::

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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    It sounds like, from what you've written about OR, you were happy there, Yek, and nothing is lost in trying it out. If the staying with the friend thing is spooking you there might be some other way to do it.

    I teach in a school that has a big film program in Boston (Emerson--a moonlighting job for me) and I find that the kids are often heading off to take in experiences in places like Prague; maybe it is your time to roam now a bit...and you'll always have your contacts in LA, right? So you're just expanding your contact base...just ideas.

    Good luck with all of this! Let us know what you come up with!
    JK Jim

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    OU doesn't seem to have a PhD program that fits me.
    it's UO. OU is the University of Oklahoma.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    I'm concerned about the stripping environment because I know Oregon money isn't great,
    and it is in LA?
    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    I don't want K to get to Oregon and bitch because he's always cold and there is no good sushi and he can't find clothes he likes. I mean, he's REALLY a native Angeleno.
    Now, the above is really ridiculous. It barely gets cold (at least at this elevation) there's amazing sushi, and there are plenty of great places to buy clothes here. OK, maybe not in Eugene, but in Portland. You do realize that 60% of the population of Oregon is made up of expatriated Californians, right? Really, those are things you'd have to worry about if you were moving to South Dakota, not Oregon.

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivacious
    Nice. Have you checked into Southern Cali too?
    Yeah, but there are A LOT of struggling filmmakers and industry moonlighters around here. I've applied for several community college teaching positions and never even gotten an interview around here. It might be different outside the production zone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba
    I don't know how expensive Hollywood is, but many of the places I found online were not THAT much cheaper than San Diego. Eugene is probably less pricey than Portland.
    Yeah, Portland seems like the big Trendy Hot Spot right now and it seems to be completely filling up with Californians. Seems like it'd be Little California in a lot of ways. I don't know if Eugene would be the same way or not. That's one of my concerns about moving... I don't want to leave Hollywood and move up there, only to find that it's exactly the same.

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba
    You danced in Bend and loved it right?
    Yeah, but only for a week in December 2005. I did like it though.

    Quote Originally Posted by jhuka
    I teach in a school that has a big film program in Boston (Emerson--a moonlighting job for me) and I find that the kids are often heading off to take in experiences in places like Prague; maybe it is your time to roam now a bit...and you'll always have your contacts in LA, right?
    Not necessarily, if we lose touch (I'm really bad about keeping in touch with people because I hate the phone) and they find other writers and directors who are fresher in their memory. But K's great about staying in touch, and he's got a zillion contacts that are all way better than mine. As for travel... I thought about going to do the whole teach-English-in-China thing but it wouldn't pay me enough to keep working on the debts I have here. And K couldn't go because he has no degree, and we're both getting a bit too old for that stuff. He'll be 30 in the spring, and I'm 28. We have no savings and no house. We kinda need to start putting something away so we can be grownups one day.

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    it's UO. OU is the University of Oklahoma.
    Oops, thank you! One thing's for damn sure, we are NOT moving to Oklahoma!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    and it is in LA?
    No, but that's sorta the point... at least here it's the devil I know, rather than the one I don't know. Like I said, I'm worried that we might go through the whole move only to find that Oregon is just the same as California. But the club environment seems to be much less stressful, which counts for something anyway... the strip club scene in L.A. gets to me mostly because of the management and clientele, not just the money.

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    Now, the above is really ridiculous.
    I agree, but I'm trying to look at it from K's perspective. He's got the same mindset that a lot of native Angelenos and New Yorkers share - that if it's not in L.A. or New York, it's a third-world backwater. Just last night on the phone he was groaning with skepticism about the idea of sushi in Chicago, and you should see him when we visit Memphis, he's like Eva Gabor in "Green Acres." But he's been to Portland and Eugene before, and I haven't, so I might be worrying too much about him.

    I'm kinda warming to the idea. I just want to do a bit more research.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    I think you should go for it, Yek. If you don't like it...you can always move back to LA...if you miss it that much. You'll never know unless you take a risk and go find out. No doubt...by your posts...IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE!

    As far as dancing goes...maybe you could move somewhere in between Eugene and Portland, like Salem, so you can be closer and dance in Portland and K can be closer to his friend?



  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    What's Salem like?

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    What's Salem like?
    I've been on this forum: http://www.city-data.com/forum/ for the past couple of weeks trying to decide where I want to move, too. Lots of great info from all the locals from every city in the country on here. LOTS OF GOOD STUFF! You should sign up and get to researching like I have, Missy! It's also where I got that Perfect Spots Quiz.



  14. #14
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    How close would this be to your beloved Montana? Maybe....if you are going to call in your LA shit...it would make you happier to be closer to Monatana.

    But....but...but....who would I go on drunken Hollywood tours, flashing boobs on Rodeo Dr without you???? MY LA trips would be so not fun without you....

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Ooh, thank you.

    So far I'm feeling pretty good about Portland. I'm going to keep researching, but I'm not completely sure about Eugene right now since there don't seem to be many employment options for me. Portland has a decent little film community, a good-sized Jewish community, and just generally better amenities... plus I found some delightful houses that we could buy for less than what we're currently spending on rent. I'm definitely warming up to Portland.

    How often does it snow there? I hear it doesn't really, which is a shame because I love snow. And what's the strip club stats? Nude with alcohol, right? How much are dances and what are house fees like? Are the managers power-pimps or can a dancer actually work without having to tiptoe around the manager's ego all night? (I've been fired for making too much money before; power trips get way out of hand in L.A.!)

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    ^Did you get that info from the site? Did you sign up? What's your Username? PM me. I'll give you mine.



  17. #17
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    How close would this be to your beloved Montana? Maybe....if you are going to call in your LA shit...it would make you happier to be closer to Monatana.
    12 hours from Portland, as opposed to 17 from L.A. A bit closer, and without a day and a half of driving through the damn desert and all the hassles of Utah. This thought has crossed my mind already.

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    But....but...but....who would I go on drunken Hollywood tours, flashing boobs on Rodeo Dr without you???? MY LA trips would be so not fun without you....
    LOL, well, we won't be leaving for awhile yet... and we'll just have to flash our tits somewhere else! And you don't visit L.A. nearly often enough anyways. You need to come out before we leave because I want to put you in my next short.

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mily View Post
    ^Did you get that info from the site? Did you sign up? What's your Username? PM me. I'll give you mine.
    No, just browsing around on Google. I haven't signed up yet but I'll let you know if I do.

  19. #19
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    LOL Mily, you and city data: a match made in heaven. I've been using it lately too for Cali stuff.

    Yekh: listen to K. He obviously knows you, maybe better than you know yourself. Take a chance. This could be great for you and your relationship.

  20. #20
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Portland > Eugene

  21. #21
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    LOL, well, we won't be leaving for awhile yet... and we'll just have to flash our tits somewhere else! And you don't visit L.A. nearly often enough anyways. You need to come out before we leave because I want to put you in my next short.
    I know...I've got my agent working on sending me out, but it will be Oct/Nov before they are shooting my genre enough to warrent a trip out there. I miss LA. No wait....I dont miss LA....I miss Yek and K!!!!!

    Any chance you'll get here for Halloween?????? Pretty please with a cherry on top???I'll sex you up all you can handle if you do!!!

  22. #22
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Awesome as that sounds, I don't think we'll make it. I'm flying (ugh) to Memphis for a weekend in October, because my grandmother's pancreatic cancer didn't respond to surgery or chemo and she's pretty sick, and I want to spend some time with her while I can. I doubt I'll be able to afford two weekends out of town, and K may be working in Portland anyway. (Ha, yeah, Portland.) So yeah, we were both really excited about going, but it doesn't look like we can.

    And November works totally awesome for me if you're out here. I'll try to get the script finished by October and work for some funding (this one will be a LOT cheaper than the last one). The script is in its really basic stages right now but I think you'll like it when it's finished... that is, if you don't object to being portrayed as a sex object.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    There's a hundred threads all about Portland in Club Chat that can give you the rundown. It's unequivocally the lowest-stress city I've ever danced in, and (being that you are actually of legal age to dance and not stripping under 21 due to the weird loophole in our laws) has decent earnings.

    It doesn't snow much in Portland because it's at a lower elevation and closer to the coast, but should you wish to do so, you could drive an hour east of here and have all the snow you can handle on Mount Hood.

  24. #24
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Get the hell out of LA, Yek!



  25. #25
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    Default Re: Hm. What do you guys think?

    Yek, I'd be thrilled if you camed to Eugene. Portland gets all kinds of talk, and its really great, but its not the Eug... Oregon really is more than just Portland. I love living here. And I think I'd love living here more if Yek were here!

    Oh... and about Oregon money... you've posted all kinds of threads about how much L.A. sucks. But a lot of girls are really happy with Oregon money. I do great in Eugene.

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