As I've posted before, my best friend died in May. It was sudden and without reason; even the doctors who did the autopsy said they couldn't find anything wrong with him...there was no reason at all that he should have died.
For the most part I'm okay. All day I'll be fine, but at night I'll think about him and cry my head off.
My wonderful boyfriend has been very sweet, and he wanted to go out drinking last night with a few friends, to help get my mind off of it. It started off great, lots of good drinks, good company, yay!
But on our way home, we were all at the trolley stop...and it was across from a cemetary. And I thought of my friend being in his grave, and I lost it, sobbing hysterically. I cried so hard I made myself throw up everything I had to drink, in front of my boy, our friends, and the entire line of people waiting for the trolley![]()
My poor boyfriend. He can't stand being around people throwing up, because it makes him throw up, but he forced himself to stay right where he was, holding my hair, rubbing my back, cleaning my face, and comforting my tears.
I'm so mortified. I feel so pathetic. And I'm getting very angry at myself that I can't seem to accept and handle the fact that my friend is dead and not coming back.
So...I need two pieces of advice:
1) How can I help myself get over this grieving process, and not be a hysterical mess every time I see a tombstone or think about my friend?
2.) Any ideas for damage control since I humiliated myself?



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