Stripping is sucking the soul out of me.
Not so much the stripping, but the closeness, I didn't feel this drained when I just did air-dances.....but these couch dances are making me lose it. I feel too much from people, I can't just block it out. Anyone who's done a couch dance or a contact dance I'm sure can understand-- you get so freaking close to the person without even knowing them.. rubbing up against perfect strangers.. I can't do it anymore.
I was going to work tonight. I need the money. I have no cash at all, everything is in savings, and I don't want to dip into it, but I didn't go. I went to a show and watched my boyfriend play music instead, and now I'm about to go out again. I was even all dressed up and going to catch the bus from the bar, I had my makeup half done, my extensions in, bag full of stripper clothes, the whole nine yards, and I just couldn't make myself do it.
i guess my only feasible option at this point is to try to get night shifts at Club 205.. are there any other stage-only or stage-oriented clubs in this town that are lucrative??
Does anyone else get this spiritually/emotionally drained? What do you do about it? How do you heal yourself? I need to work but I can't sell my soul.


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I had to do something.
good luck!


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