My new job I'm a cocktail waitress, but for my first 2 days, they had me selling beer at a beer tub. Right next to the front door, I stand there and sell beer.
The first night I was there, I sold more beer the first hour than Scores sold all night. I sold more beer all night than Scores did all week.
I can sell. I ask every single guy who walks in if they want a beer. I can knock out every no they give me and talk them into a beer. I know as a cocktail waitress, I'm gonna be able to sell bottles of liquor like water.
Why can't I sell like this as a stripper anymore? I used to be able to.
But as a stripper, I can't want up to each and every person, and towards the end, I couldn't approach anyone. It wasn't so much fear of rejection...it was more just automaticially assuming the would say no, so why bother asking.
Why did I get that stupid idea in my head? In reality, I know some will say no, some will say yes.
Why is stripping so incredibly stressful for me? As a waitress, I know no matter what, I'm getting paid. I KNOW I will get my hourly, and I know I will get tips. Why do I think as a stripper, I may not make anymore, and that thought causes such a fear in me that I am unable to function.
As a stripper...I KNOW if I worked, and tried, I could make back my housefees plus something each and every night. Last night as a cocktail waitress, in a 4 hour shift, I made $200 in tips.I was happy and pleased with that. If I were a stripper, I would be upset at only making $200.
I was hoping that waitressing in a strip club for a few months would cure me of my stripping burn out, and I think it's working. Fast. I've only been at it for 2 days, and I wanna try to strip again, applying the same hustle to dancing that I can use selling drinks.
Guys think I'm hot. A million guys came up to me and asked me why I wasn't dancing, they woudl buy dances off me. They told me I was the hottest girl in the club, and it's always the hottest ones who won't strip. One guy asked me if I was a gymnast or had a personal traioner cause my body was so tight and nice.
All this.....I have been so down qabout my body lately. Fellign like I got fat, and soft and lumpy. My boyfriend keeps telling me it's all in my head, but I refure to believe him. But if everyone else is sayign it...maybe it's true.
Maybe my burn out just got so bad I started to hate everythign abotu myelf and started to think I was ugly when I'm not.
I'm just thinking out loud here.....but if I cocktail for just a few more weeks, I think I might get cured and just in time for convention season out here.
If I had my groove back by then.....omg, I could make some serious cash.
So I'm trying to figure out exactly where my mental block is with dancing.
I know I have the hustle and sales skills in me somewhere. Any other sales job I've had I've alwyas been a top producer...I've been a top producer as a stripper, at one time, before it all left me.
So what happened to me? Did Vegas just get to me? Did dancing get to me? Is it just simple burn out that can be cured with a few weeks off?
Will all these fears with dancing come back as soon as I put on my stilettos again?
I want to be a stripper. It's the best option for me right now with school. Best money and hours and freedom. I don't want to be tied down to a job if I don't have to....
So....what happened to me? Why can I sell so well if the stripping part is removed? Why do I have such a fear of being a stripper? Why is it so stressful for me?
Is it just simple burn out? Or is it something more?
I want to be cured so I can do what I know I can do well....what I used to be able to do well.


Reply With Quote
I loved the fact that I was still doing something similiar to dancing... i.e; looking pretty, working the floor, selling, talking to customers, playing with bras, panties, and sexy lingerie, makeup, perfume, etc. I also felt more secure and somewhat happier because I was getting an hourly wage even if I didn't feel like working too hard on some days. The pay was shitty, too!
I could have written your post word for word. I think it's part burnout, and partly that selling a beer is far far easier than selling yourself!
And when I was in that mindset, I attracted the big spenders and the respectful men b/c I was putting out a genuinely un-desperate, relaxed, confident vibe. And work was suddenly a ton of FUN. I can't wait to go back to school and have that happen again. Maybe thinking of things that way re: being in school will help you too?
Or if you can manage it, dance one or two nights a week while you're still cocktailing. Think of the cocktailing as a hustle refresher course. 
Bookmarks