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Thread: Why is it?

  1. #1
    Kaylinn
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    Default Why is it?

    My new job I'm a cocktail waitress, but for my first 2 days, they had me selling beer at a beer tub. Right next to the front door, I stand there and sell beer.
    The first night I was there, I sold more beer the first hour than Scores sold all night. I sold more beer all night than Scores did all week.

    I can sell. I ask every single guy who walks in if they want a beer. I can knock out every no they give me and talk them into a beer. I know as a cocktail waitress, I'm gonna be able to sell bottles of liquor like water.

    Why can't I sell like this as a stripper anymore? I used to be able to.

    But as a stripper, I can't want up to each and every person, and towards the end, I couldn't approach anyone. It wasn't so much fear of rejection...it was more just automaticially assuming the would say no, so why bother asking.
    Why did I get that stupid idea in my head? In reality, I know some will say no, some will say yes.

    Why is stripping so incredibly stressful for me? As a waitress, I know no matter what, I'm getting paid. I KNOW I will get my hourly, and I know I will get tips. Why do I think as a stripper, I may not make anymore, and that thought causes such a fear in me that I am unable to function.
    As a stripper...I KNOW if I worked, and tried, I could make back my housefees plus something each and every night. Last night as a cocktail waitress, in a 4 hour shift, I made $200 in tips.I was happy and pleased with that. If I were a stripper, I would be upset at only making $200.

    I was hoping that waitressing in a strip club for a few months would cure me of my stripping burn out, and I think it's working. Fast. I've only been at it for 2 days, and I wanna try to strip again, applying the same hustle to dancing that I can use selling drinks.

    Guys think I'm hot. A million guys came up to me and asked me why I wasn't dancing, they woudl buy dances off me. They told me I was the hottest girl in the club, and it's always the hottest ones who won't strip. One guy asked me if I was a gymnast or had a personal traioner cause my body was so tight and nice.
    All this.....I have been so down qabout my body lately. Fellign like I got fat, and soft and lumpy. My boyfriend keeps telling me it's all in my head, but I refure to believe him. But if everyone else is sayign it...maybe it's true.
    Maybe my burn out just got so bad I started to hate everythign abotu myelf and started to think I was ugly when I'm not.

    I'm just thinking out loud here.....but if I cocktail for just a few more weeks, I think I might get cured and just in time for convention season out here.
    If I had my groove back by then.....omg, I could make some serious cash.


    So I'm trying to figure out exactly where my mental block is with dancing.
    I know I have the hustle and sales skills in me somewhere. Any other sales job I've had I've alwyas been a top producer...I've been a top producer as a stripper, at one time, before it all left me.
    So what happened to me? Did Vegas just get to me? Did dancing get to me? Is it just simple burn out that can be cured with a few weeks off?

    Will all these fears with dancing come back as soon as I put on my stilettos again?

    I want to be a stripper. It's the best option for me right now with school. Best money and hours and freedom. I don't want to be tied down to a job if I don't have to....

    So....what happened to me? Why can I sell so well if the stripping part is removed? Why do I have such a fear of being a stripper? Why is it so stressful for me?
    Is it just simple burn out? Or is it something more?
    I want to be cured so I can do what I know I can do well....what I used to be able to do well.

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    It's probably just Vegas. It did the same thing to me. After my first week in Vegas I nuzzled in the bed with K into the fetal position and just bawled myself to sleep. Something about it is just so draining and makes me feel so filthy. I won't go back there to work no matter what happens.

    Try going out of town for work sometime. In these little rural clubs, a woman as stunningly gorgeous as you are would BANK - these redneck guys have never seen anything so exquisite and they'd definitely hand over their wallets just to say hello to you. And most of them don't feel entitled to use you for a masturbation tool, either, like they do in Vegas.

  3. #3
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    My best guess is that when you're selling beer and they turn it down you probably think oh well. When someone turns you down for a dance/company wtvr its as if they are turning down you (of course you know they aren't turning the real you down but you know what I mean).

    Enjoy this time as a server and recover from your burnout then feel free to go back to being stripper.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  4. #4
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    I think you may be onto something! And for the record, you are HOT. I think you could be a Playboy model, or something similar. If you weren't making money stripping, it definitely WAS all in your head! So whatever you were doing before just had you burnt out and stuck in a rut. Maybe selling drinks will get you motivated to dance again. I hope - because in a way I think you are quite lucky to have the chance to work at some of the best clubs in the country. When/if you go back to it and it gets really rough, remember those of us in LA who are lucky to make $200 a night.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    I agree with TM. When I was burnt out from dancing, I decided to take a break from it and get a "regular" job as a SA at Victoria's Secret at one of our local malls. I did so good and I sold that shit like it was going out of style...I was SHIT HOT! LOL! I loved the fact that I was still doing something similiar to dancing... i.e; looking pretty, working the floor, selling, talking to customers, playing with bras, panties, and sexy lingerie, makeup, perfume, etc. I also felt more secure and somewhat happier because I was getting an hourly wage even if I didn't feel like working too hard on some days. The pay was shitty, too!

    When I finally went to go put in my 2 weeks notice, two store managers from two different malls here in SA literally begged me to stay...and told me that they would move me up, etc, etc...but I passed. I was ready to go back out there and start making REAL money again as a dancer. It was a great experience and overall I learned and soaked in A LOT from it.

    Take this time and opportunity to soak up as much as you can buy selling the HELL outta that beer...when (and if) you decide to dance full time again you will have even more knowledge of the game.
    Last edited by Mily; 09-16-2007 at 10:35 PM.



  6. #6
    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    At works I call this Helle's Law Of Being Clothes in that, as a stripper, the minute you have clothes on your attractivness is doubled. You are now non threating--You're not the girl who is overtly using sexuality to get cash. Now you are less intimidating. I have a crappy day at the club... go in back and get dressed and come out to cash out and suddenly everyone wants a dance BECAUSE MY CLOTHES ARE ON.

    It's crazy. I work at a drink hustle bar. At normal nightclubs, I can get so many free drinks a night without anything implied but the minute I'm naked, it's hard as shit.

    Sigh.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    Maybe you are just temporarily burned out dancing. When I was a shot girl, I was selling body shots out the ass (not literally) for a few months, and it was fun and easy. After a while, I got to this point where I wasn't really doing well, and my mgr suggested that I go back to cocktail waitressing for a few weeks because he thought I burned myself out on doing shots. After a month, I returned to doing shots, and it worked out well. I just needed a change, then I was banking and having fun with shots again.

    As far as dancing, I don't think I've been doing it long enough to feel the burn out. Everytime I let myself get down, someone lays his credit card out for the champagne room and my hopes are high again. Maybe a break is all you need?

  8. #8
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    Kaylinn, get out of my head! I could have written your post word for word. I think it's part burnout, and partly that selling a beer is far far easier than selling yourself!
    Esp. the whole taking rejection personally thing. It gets to all of us sometimes, even the ones with the thickest skins.

    Also I think that it's easier to relax and get to work when you know you've got a paycheck no matter what. When you go back to dancing and start school, I predict that being in school will have the same effect on you as knowing that you're drawing a paycheck no matter what. At least it was for me...I was able to relax (and BANK!) when I was in school b/c I had the attitude that I didn't NEED any of this. "Fuck it all, I don't need any of these customers, esp. the ones giving me bullshit; I don't need to put up with a bunch of shit just to make $$, I will walk right away from anyone who's trying to push my buttons and make me jump through hoops for $20. I'm in school studying something that I enjoy and am good at, something that's in demand and pays well...and in x months I'll be making good $$ elsewhere!" And when I was in that mindset, I attracted the big spenders and the respectful men b/c I was putting out a genuinely un-desperate, relaxed, confident vibe. And work was suddenly a ton of FUN. I can't wait to go back to school and have that happen again. Maybe thinking of things that way re: being in school will help you too?

    Aside from that I'd say stay at your cocktailing job a little longer and really get the uber-hustler mode back and ingrained into you, so it'll be as close to second nature as possible when you go back to dancing. Or if you can manage it, dance one or two nights a week while you're still cocktailing. Think of the cocktailing as a hustle refresher course.

  9. #9
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    Think of it like this. When guys come in the door, the first thing they want is to get a drink. By you being at the door and being an attractive female, you automatically put them in the party mood. A sexy smiling girl at the entrance of a Las Vegas strip club getting them with a choice of beers. Unless they want a mixed drink they will say yes.

    Many guys who go to strip clubs don't go there to buy dances. But they all go there to drink. And when the dance equation comes up, you're talking $20+ for something they may or may not want. And they have only so much money and a HUGE selection of girls all selling the same thing.

    It's easier to turn down a girl who is a dime a dozen in a club for dances, but when you are the ONLY person at the door selling beer, and you are a sexy female, it is easier to get the beer from you than wait in line at the bar, or wait at the table for a waitress to come over.

    You may have found your niche. Work that tip jar girl!

  10. #10
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    You are also selling beer, not yourself, your body and your personality, so you don't have any of that fear of rejection in the back of your mind.

    Anyway, congrats at being so awesome at cocktailing! Your boss must love you. I hope it goes great.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

  11. #11
    Senior Member anabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why is it?

    I would say if you are doing something that you're really good at, you like it, and you're making good money (200 is not bad, especially if you can rely on always making that much) then you should keep doing it.

    Do the beer tub thing, then try the cocktailing thing, and see how it goes. I'm happy for you that you're doing something that's not stressing you out! And if it's only 4 hour shifts, you should be able to handle that with school.

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