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Thread: Husband and the gym help

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Husband and the gym help

    So my husband and I went to the gym together for the first time EVER. The whole time he did nothing but complain. He normallly just goes to his martial arts class, but on Fridays he has no class so went with me to the gym and lifted weights with me.
    Apparently that bruised his delicate male ego though, since he only lifted 20-30 lbs more than me. He always says that he wishes he had more definition in his muscles, but this was the first time he ever lifted, and apparently I lifted too close to what he did and hurt his ego.
    I want him to keep going to the gym with me. It's a big part of my life and I like to share that with him. But how do I do that and keep up with my workout? The only thing I see to do is for me to lift less until he gets far enough ahead of me that he is no longer intimadated or whatever. But that would hurt me a bit in my workout. I can't afford a trainer for him, and he wont go by himself. None of his friends lift either so he cant go with them.
    Any suggestions?
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    You could buy a violin and play him a sad, sad song. Okay, seriously... if he brings it up, just remind him that this is something you have been doing (and that he hasn't) for a long time and that if he works at it, he will improve... but only if he works at it.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Tell him he looks sexy in gym clothes and it turns you on when his muscles are flexed and he gets all sweaty.

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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    They are both right!
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    So my husband and I went to the gym together for the first time EVER. The whole time he did nothing but complain. He normallly just goes to his martial arts class, but on Fridays he has no class so went with me to the gym and lifted weights with me.
    Apparently that bruised his delicate male ego though, since he only lifted 20-30 lbs more than me. He always says that he wishes he had more definition in his muscles, but this was the first time he ever lifted, and apparently I lifted too close to what he did and hurt his ego.
    I suggest that you ask your husband to discuss humility, focus and patience with his martial arts sensei...

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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    The only thing I see to do is for me to lift less until he gets far enough ahead of me that he is no longer intimadated or whatever.
    Never lift less than what you know you can lift. If he can't bench press at least 300 a year from now, dump him. Only the strong survive.

    Meanwhile, buy him a long-sleeve tee shirt with a mock turtleneck collar. It makes any guy look bigger.

  7. #7
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2 View Post
    Never lift less than what you know you can lift. If he can't bench press at least 300 a year from now, dump him. Only the strong survive.

    Meanwhile, buy him a long-sleeve tee shirt with a mock turtleneck collar. It makes any guy look bigger.

    Yea for real! Don't cheat yourself out of a workout! Sucks his attitude is so poor. I feel truly lucky that my bf works out a lot, and he's been a great source of inspiration to me.

    I know it's different when it's YOU trying to inspire a DUDE....(but seriously, wtf?)
    But my bf has been inspirational for the following reasons:

    --He showed me the ropes without judgement

    --Got me books that were tailored for women, and specific goals

    --Is not ashamed that he also reads books and learns from them

    --Loves my body no matter what

    --Has such a positive attitude about everything.

    I hate it when ppl take workouts all personally and competitively. We should all be doing the best we can, be the best we can be, etc. It completely sucks that he's intimidated. Just remind him that you were always perfectly fit (even if it ain't true) and you are still learning...and that he will get there in no time. Guys lift ridiculous amounts of weight, even the average ones. He can do it. But he probably needs to go on his own, since you are distracting him so much.

  8. #8
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Tell him to suck it up and be a man. He cant do more because he isnt used to it plain and simple. Dont be less then you are just to make HIM feel better....you should inspire him to do better..he shouldnt inspire you to be worse!

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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Tell him to suck it up and be a man. He cant do more because he isnt used to it plain and simple. Dont be less then you are just to make HIM feel better....you should inspire him to do better..he shouldnt inspire you to be worse!
    Maybe this belongs in your advice thread, Cam, but can you suggest some incentives she could offer hubby for "getting his lift on?"

  10. #10
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Husband and the gym help

    Quote Originally Posted by Budai View Post
    Maybe this belongs in your advice thread, Cam, but can you suggest some incentives she could offer hubby for "getting his lift on?"
    LOL! What does he like? Maybe promise to make him his fav meal every time he can lift another 25 pounds.

    Or remind him that the more in shape he is...the more stamina he'll have in bed!

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