i think i want to go back to dancing. I told my boyfriend that after my debt was paid off i would quit. well, all of them are paid off and now i live in in another country with my boyfriend... i posted previously that i have been having difficulty finding a job, and partially because of the language struggle. I think one of the reasons i haven't been successful so far is because i am not sure if i want to go back to having normal jobs. I think i haven't been honest with myself. My boyfriend and his family said i should get any kind of job so i can get a work visa. And i should want to, but the fact is i am realizing that i don't like just having any job. I think if i am working i should be able to enjoy what i do. But i don't enjoy stupid mundane jobs, i feel miserable and suffer, office jobs are the worst.
I mentioned once to my boyfriend that i would rather dance than do other jobs, and his reply was that i said i would quit. He wasn't mean or defensive, nor is he jealous of when i did dance. and i did say back then that i would quit. And then if i did dance i couldn't tell his mom, and i prolly shouldn't tell his sisters, who i am now becoming good friends with. I want to dance but i would not want to start down a road of hiding things, when things will prolly eventually come out anyway.
I haven't had a complete conversation with my boyfriend about this,and i just don't know exactly how to bring it up. I don't have my heart set on dancing, but i definitely miss it in a way. I feel lost in a way.





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Doesn't anybody care!!!!!!!

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