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Thread: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    For school, I'm doing volunteer work. I just did some of my hours at a nursing home where I used to work. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of people, but nursing homes are honestly hard, backbreaking, underpaid work that almost killed my back when I worked for one. Anyway, there are some really senile people who are stuck on this earth.

    Oh my god, please shoot me if I ever get that bad.

    There was one tiny 90-year old woman who was severely demented. She was either sleeping or screaming hysterically out of fear. Whenever you tried to touch her, she'd scream hysterically, alternating between, "No daddy no!" and "Get out of my house, I'm going to shoot you!" She honestly thought that she was being raped and brutalized. She also had some incredible inner strength, probably out of fear. You couldn't change her diaper properly because she fought so much, and when bathing her, you'd swear that you were torturing her. Even the strong male staff struggled with her. As a result, she got a horrible diaper rash. She also had sharp, long nails that you couldn't cut. Since we're not allowed to restrain people in any way, there's not much you can do.

    There was another man who was so far gone that he would eat his own shit. His family was too Catholic to realize that he was gone, and even after a stroke and a code, they insisted on keeping him alive. He would dig in his diaper and eat it, getting it everywhere.

    There was another woman who was very out of it. All day long, she would cry and beg, "Please, please help me." The problem was that 1) she did it every day, several times a day, each time forgetting that you comforted her, and 2) If you did try to talk to her, she'd get frustrated and start attacking you verbally and physically. I learned this because she spat in my face and called me a witch. Her husband loved her and would call in to check on her every day, but didn't want to come see her anymore because she'd scream hysterically and cry even if he just went to the bathroom. She'd cry so hard that she would vomit, and she'd be horrible for the rest of the day after he left. At night, she'd scream that "They're trying to drag Helen away! Oh my god, I've got to save her!" That permanent state of stress can't be too good for her.

    Seriously, please shoot me if I ever get that bad. Don't resuscitate me. Old people are fragile, and if you do CPR right, you will probably break a few ribs. I want quality of live over quantity.

  2. #2
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Oh God how horrible.

  3. #3
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    That would honestly tear at my soul. I dont know if I could do that...so HUGE cudos to you for being able to keep it together enough to help them however you can.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    I made it quite clear to my dad that if I am ever in a situation in which I am losing it, or if I will awake without the abilities I had before, then he will let me go. I promised him that I would come back as a ghost and haunt him if he kept me chained to this earth. He agreed, and told me that if he ever gets too stupid to take himself out, then please do it for him.

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    That would honestly tear at my soul. I dont know if I could do that...so HUGE cudos to you for being able to keep it together enough to help them however you can.
    ditto.

    i admire your inner strength to do that job. *thumbsup*

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Wow, I couldn't do it either. Bless you for doing what you can.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    I've spent quite a large chunk of my life working with the extremes like these. When genes or biology go bad, we find out the painful hardway just how fragile we humans really are.

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    Senior Member lyra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Thank you to each and everyone of you who does this, because I could not. My husband and I have had a similar converstation and I told him I would come back and haunt him.

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    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    This is one of the main reasons I'm terrified of becoming old. I don't want that day to come, where I don't remember my loved ones and/or who I am. I have so much respect for those that work in nursing homes, they are so much stronger than I am. But I want to never live in one.
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Smoke marijuana. It will prevent senile dementia. Ditto with ciggs.

    Of course, if you smoke a lot, it may prevent you from getting to an age where your brain fails. It seems like a no win situation.

    We all will die one day. I want to have dignity when I die, not that kind of humiliation that those people must suffer everyday.


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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    There was one tiny 90-year old woman who was severely demented. You couldn't change her diaper properly because she fought so much, and when bathing her, you'd swear that you were torturing her. Even the strong male staff struggled with her. As a result, she got a horrible diaper rash. She also had sharp, long nails that you couldn't cut. Since we're not allowed to restrain people in any way, there's not much you can do.
    That part sounds like my grandmother

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    ^^lol, I got excited when I read the smoke marijuana part.

    on a more serious note, I can totally relate. I've worked in retirement and nursing homes my whole life, thankfully only doing recreation (i can't do the diaper thing if the person isn't related; kudos to those who can). It's so sad watching what happens to people as they age and it's just a reminder that I need to buy a gun when I retire and let my children (who will be grown by then) know the exact location and when to use it on me.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    ^Why a gun? I'm going to go out in the best way possible: heroin overdose. Imagine me as a little old lady hobbling downtown in her walker into a dark alley to buy some China White. I'm just going to shoot myself up and let myself be lulled to death in a peaceful somnolence.

    Yeah, this is something that you all have to think about. You all have parents, you all might be this way someday, and your kids may have to take care of you.

    Thanks for the encouragement. Nursing homes are depressing, and like I said, it's really fucking hard work. The big problem is that although they say that nothing is more precious than human life, nursing home caretakers get paid dirt. As a result, you get the trash of the earth taking care of your grandma. I saw some really unfit people working in the homes, such as a stupid woman who could never understand why gloves were necessary, even when changing the diaper of a woman with herpes.

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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    ^Why a gun? I'm going to go out in the best way possible: heroin overdose. Imagine me as a little old lady hobbling downtown in her walker into a dark alley to buy some China White. I'm just going to shoot myself up and let myself be lulled to death in a peaceful somnolence.
    Hm that's a pretty good idea. And I seriously wonder if you've ever met my grandmother. She's in the same area.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    ^^ A lot of cancer patients actually directly die from too much morphine. Their respriations slow way down from the morphine and they pass away. I personally think it would be a lot more peaceful death than being in pain or severely demented.

    I was actually sitting outside today at Starbucks. The Starbucks was on the street corner and there was parallel parking along the sidewalk. This mini-van pulls up and attempts to back up in front of the first car before the sidewalk crossing the street. He ends up parking half way on the sidewalk and bumping into the car parked behind him. Emerging from the van is this elderly gentleman in his pajamas. He just politely got out of his van and walked into the Starbucks like nothing happened. I am sitting there somewhat shocked. I give the rest of my biscotti to the birds then take a hike. I am sure enough people saw what happened but he didn't seem to even notice.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    ^^ A lot of cancer patients actually directly die from too much morphine. Their respriations slow way down from the morphine and they pass away. I personally think it would be a lot more peaceful death than being in pain or severely demented.
    The ethics of nursing are against euthanasia BUT the code also states that in the end of life, comfort comes first. Even if morphine might hasten death, it's considered better to administer the morphine to ease the pain. I personally support Dr. Jack Kevorkian, but I also like this nursing ethic. My grandpa died more quickly as a result of morphine, but he died more comfortably. He was a doctor, and long advocated that before cancer took him.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by BalletBaby View Post
    Hm that's a pretty good idea. And I seriously wonder if you've ever met my grandmother. She's in the same area.
    I wanna meet your grandma.

  18. #18
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Smoke marijuana. It will prevent senile dementia. Ditto with ciggs.

    Of course, if you smoke a lot, it may prevent you from getting to an age where your brain fails.
    Heh, that's why I started smoking!

    Back to the OP, yes, I admire you Hatsepshut. I got a small dose of this caring for a terminally ill woman for a short while & I felt just as bad for her loved ones, to see this strong matriarch of theirs in such a disoriented and painful state. (Ditto Catholicism, she was going to wait to the bitter end, which she did...)

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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    ^No, no you don't. Do you want to listen to her scream 'bloody murder' as you try to bath her? Didn't think so.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Actually, nicotine alone is what prevents the plaque deposits in the brain that cause Alzheimer's. Smoking catalyzes dementia. Smoking won't help you, ladies.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by BalletBaby View Post
    ^No, no you don't. Do you want to listen to her scream 'bloody murder' as you try to bath her? Didn't think so.
    Oh, I thought that you meant that she had the same mindset as me. Is the poor lady senile and trapped in her body?

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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Yeah pretty much. She can't do anything and I NEVER want to get to that point in my life.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by BalletBaby View Post
    Yeah pretty much. She can't do anything and I NEVER want to get to that point in my life.
    Well, people age slowly, and over the years most acclimate to the changes that happen every moment, an hour at a time, a day at a time, the changes creep up on them so they don't feel like they just grew "old" one day. By that time though, their feelings about growing old usually change as well (as in, for many they cling to life no matter how physically or mentally poor they are). Me, I'm like you, and think now I'd rather never be like that, but by the time it happens... who knows. Things change, and people change.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    I was actually sitting outside today at Starbucks. The Starbucks was on the street corner and there was parallel parking along the sidewalk. This mini-van pulls up and attempts to back up in front of the first car before the sidewalk crossing the street. He ends up parking half way on the sidewalk and bumping into the car parked behind him. Emerging from the van is this elderly gentleman in his pajamas. He just politely got out of his van and walked into the Starbucks like nothing happened. I am sitting there somewhat shocked. I give the rest of my biscotti to the birds then take a hike. I am sure enough people saw what happened but he didn't seem to even notice.
    This is all too common, and ends very badly in a lot of cases. I talked to a psychiatric nurse whose job is to deem people competent for driving. She screens mostly old people. Their families scream, "You're supposed to be compassionate! You're ruining grandpa's life!" She answers, "I am trying to prevent your grandfather from getting into an accident, lying in a ditch, unable to remember who or where he is, or worse, dead. This happens (insert statistic) times a year in this state, and I'm not going to let him be another one."


    Seriously, dementia is dangerous. A friend of mine got drunk for the first time when he was 4 because his grandma mistook vodka for lemonade. He also got food poisoning often because she'd leave out food. A lot of elderly people losing their minds do things like go for a drive and forget that red lights mean stop, or they'll stop bathing. People (especially foreign men) tend to judge harshly, saying, "You threw your mother away, you ungrateful person!" What they don't understand is that people with elderly parents are often sandwiched between generations. The men are especially judgmental because it's "the wimmin's job" to take care of his parents. He only has to take care of them financially. You know how some cultures value sons because they can take care of them in old age? The sons don't take care of them, the daughters-in-law do. I've seen a lot of unhappy situations, as mother-in-laws tend to be universally evil. In traditional cultures, this is even worse because the husband is the head of the house, and thus his mother and his wife are locked in a power struggle.

    Also: CHILDHOOD IS A STAGE, DEMENTIA IS A DISEASE! The logic of, "You threw away your mother," is faulty due to this.

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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shoot me if I'm ever this senile

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    I made it quite clear to my dad that if I am ever in a situation in which I am losing it, or if I will awake without the abilities I had before, then he will let me go.
    Although I agree with you in principle, if you've ever been a parent, it will be the worst day of this life, your next life or any other life you will ever live.

    If I had to pull the plug out of mercy, or to reduce hopeless suffering, I would do it. But then I would lie down right next to her and die.

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