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Thread: Thoughts on Pre nups?

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Just curious?
    What does everyone think about getting a prenuptial (sp?) . Good? Bad? Smart? Offensive? Would you get one? Would you call off a wedding if your fiance wanted one or be for it? Would you suggest it? Is it a bad premonition or just good business? Is there anything you would have to have in there besides the normal stuff? I did a search first and didn't come up with anything.
    The floor is open



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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I don't have any significant assest, so I wouldn't bring it up if I was getting married. But if I did or the guy did I would totally be ok with getting one. They are really unromantic though.

    Oh, I have always thought that if I was pregnant, I would want some kind of prenup that stated if one of us was caught cheating, sole custody of the child would go to the parent that did not cheat. Cheating would be my main issue for a prenup. If my theoretical husband cheated on me I would want to be able to take everything from him easily.

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I know almost nobody will agree with me on this one....but fuck no i would never want a pre-nup, whether it be to protect me or my husband. Call me a romantic, but getting married means being together forever right? A pre-nup is basically doubting that promise. And if the person I was marrying was rich and asked me to sign a prenup, I'm basically viewing it as they value money more than me. (This is why I hate rich men and wouldn't bother marrying one in the first place....)

    If I wasn't sure about marrying someone, and they weren't sure about marrying me and being with me FOREVER, then I simply would not marry them. Fuck that.

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Thanks mods!
    Last edited by Jenna78; 09-21-2007 at 05:00 PM.

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Depends on why he would want a prenup. Sometimes they are an easy way to depart money and assets without all the hassle. I don't know too much about them but it all depends on the delivery of the person suggesting one and why.
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I'd be fine with a prenup.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I think any joint endeavour requires a strong and clear exit clause. But I wouldn't agree to anything that said I got nothing, regardless of the cause of exit, and I wouldn't expect my partner to either.

    And Gentleman X - while I'm not offended, what a stupid thing to say. It is our job to get money out of men in a particular context. We don't just stop men in the street and ask them for money. Getting married is about as far from selling a lapdance as you can get.
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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I think a pre-nup is pretty standard nowadays. And I don't think its un-romantic. It has nothing to do with love- it just says you get to keep whatever belonged to you before the marriage if anything causes the marriage to dissipate. Anything could happen, the world changes very quickly today, so I think its fair to both parties. I would sign one if I were getting married.

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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I'd be fine with a pre nup, shit I will probably ask for one the next time I get married. I lost everything the first time I got divorced through no fault of my own, and I don't want to have to deal with all that shit again.

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I see no reason NOT to get a pre-nup... it's just some legal stuff... sort of like marriage itself being legal stuff.
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I would have no problem with it.

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I think they're ok as long as they're fair. I've seen some really fucked up pre-nups though. I don't think of them as expecting your marriage to fail, I think of them as buying insurance. You don't expect/want to get sick/get in a wreck/die, but sometimes shit happens, and it's better to be prepared than to try to get all your shit together at the last minute under stress.

    My brother is going through a divorce right now, and even though he doesn't have much, he is going through HELL with his ex. A pre-nup would have helped alot.
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Quote Originally Posted by cutey503 View Post
    Call me a romantic, but getting married means being together forever right? A pre-nup is basically doubting that promise.
    That's pretty much how I feel about them as well.







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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Several years ago I would have had that whole "romantic" thing about me and said NO - it's not romantical 'n stuff! However, age and reality has made me much wiser. The moment you get married, you have entered a contract. A contract that instantly makes everything you do more expensive should something go wrong. Once something does go wrong, intelligence goes out the window. So why not be smart when you're still able to....and have a pre-nup....because if you do split....which is always a possibility no matter how romantic you are....you will likely no longer be intelligent. The pre-nup will help protect you....from yourself.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    ^ yea those are some good points.

    If I ever married my bf, who as as coincidence is, how do I say this right, has done xtremely well for himself and not just a little bit, and is retiring in the next couple years (he's 3 to be an activist (I love him) ....yea

    If I married him, it would just not be fair for me to walk away with half of the $$ he's got and earned all by himself, and started to before he met me.

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Keep in mind that in most areas, if the marriage lasts a long period of time, the pre-nups often get thrown out anyway. If it's a couple of years, that's one thing. If it's a decade, then you are entitled to something. In that case, having the pre-nup does not cut you out.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I think that you should have to fill out as much paperwork to get married as you do to get unmarried.

    And, by that, I mean an intimidating pile.
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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    He could get into a car accident in which he sustained brain damage that made him into raging maniac who puts your life in danger even though it's not his fault that he's fucked in the head. That kind of shit happens. Even if he's the most loyal, honest, romantic person in the world, there might be events that even he can't control.

    I am going to be a nurse practitioner, so there's a pretty good chance that I'll make more than the man I marry. No fucking way am I going to put that hard earned cash and career into jeopardy. The way I see is it protecting my assets no matter what. I will always have myself.

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I say yes, though what I'm gonna have is a post-nup. I don't see them as offensive, just realistic, especially if you live in a community property state.

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    If I ever get married again, I will definitely be getting a pre nup. If only I knew then what I know now...



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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Saying having a prenup to protect you is unromantic and you'd never do it is like saying having a condom is unromantic and you'd never do it. I don't care if I don't like it - I'd just like to remain safe!


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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Yup, that's exactly what it is! A condom for matrimony. Even if you wind up getting fucked, you don't necessarily have a permanent reminder of the fucking!

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    A pre-nup usually states that all of the assests owned by each party prior to the marriage is off-limits. I know that if I busted my ass building a huge business enterprise...or if I owned 1000 rental properties that worth tons of money...I would demand a pre-nup. It's not saying that you don't love the person...it's just insurance that if anything goes wrong (as we all know it does) that my assets are safe. There are pre-nups that dictate how long the couple has to be married before the second party can become legally entitled to x amount of dollars (like Trump and Marla Maples). This protects the assets...it also ensures that the person who doesn't know anything about your assets cannot just sell them off...dispose of them for more cash, etc. It keeps them completely out of that realm.

    I'm all for prenups. As long as it keeps the playing field level.

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    I have really appreciated all the feed back.
    When i first thought about it, i agreed with some that it is unromantic and setting yourself up with a back door to failure and divorce. I have decided that it is just business and it is not personal. I understand why someone would get one and as long as its fair I am ok with it. I am kinda shocked at how little I knew about how assets are combined once you get married.
    Thank you to all who participated on this thread!



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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: Thoughts on Pre nups?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Saying having a prenup to protect you is unromantic and you'd never do it is like saying having a condom is unromantic and you'd never do it.
    2 totally different things. Protecting yourself from AIDS and STDS, and signing a prenup......not something to make light of. I'm sorry but I didn't appreciate this comparison.

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