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Thread: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

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    Default a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    there's this guy that comes in my club and while he's cool to talk to when i'm not busy, he generally doesn't spend money. last night when i was sick though, i was talking to him about stuff (i couldnt sell any dances while i was hacking up a lung, haha) and told him how i got offered a job after graduation that would mean i'd have to stop dancing.

    he told me not to take it.

    it's my dream job, really. well, one of them. i love it and i would love to do it. except for stopping dancing. most people tell me absolutely to take it.

    his reasoning was that i would not be happy because of the money. without using so many words, he kind of said keep dancing for the money even if it wasn't fulfilling and what made me happy.

    it's true that i wouldn't be happy with the huge pay cut, but money isn't everything. i honestly don't know what i'm going to do.. it was just so interesting to me that someone would tell me to keep dancing regardless, just for the money. maybe part of the reason it made me uncomfortable is because i kind of agree with him.

    what do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Why do you have to stop dancing? Are you just afraid that someone at your day job will find out? If you really want to keep dancing part-time for extra $, can you go to an out-of-state club once or twice a week?

    Congrats on the job offer btw.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    because the job would be starting at 7-7:30ish mon-fri in baltimore. which means driving in morning traffic and stuff.. i'd be leaving way early. it already takes 30 mins with no traffic. i could always dance on the weekends but i honestly wouldnt want to be working that much you know? and literally if they found out i would be screwed in my field pretty much i'm dancing while i have my internship, haha, so i'm not too worried about them finding out. i just wouldnt have time to dance!

    and thanks

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    ^^^ well, if your chosen 'straight' career involves working with other people's money, other people's bodies, other people's children, law / law enforcement / politics etc., then you have a nasty risk equation facing you. If it were to become known by your 'straight' career employer that you are an active 'stripper', that 'straight' career would be pretty much over before it started and your investment of time and money to prepare for that 'straight' career would more or less be wasted.

    From a financial standpoint, as you pointed out, the earnings potential that goes along with an entry level position in your 'straight' career is very probably going to suck. Thus you're probably going to be living your life under a lot of financial pressure while working in that entry level position and not also dancing to supplement the meager income. Your ability to do this probably boils down to how 'burdened' you are by student loans, credit card debt etc. - how prepared you are in terms of big ticket items (i.e. already having a good car which is 100% paid for and which can be expected to last for another 3+ years) - how 'protected' you are in terms of already having a sizeable bank account balance.

    I gather from your comments about internship that your 'straight' profession is pretty active, thus if you chose to 'sit out' a year or two after graduating to continue dancing full time (to pay off student loans, pay off bills and build a sizeable bank account) that it could potentially poison your job offer opportunities a year or two from now.

    Under these circumstances, I would say that you really don't have a choice but to jump on your 'dream job' offer while it's on the table. If you wind up getting into financial trouble as a result of the typically low entry level pay rate, you can then hit on your employer for a pay raise. If that doesn't fly, at least you'll have this job on your work record and a plausible explanation as to why you quit (i.e. to return to dancing in order to avoid bankruptcy) which a future 'straight' career employer may buy into.

    Whatever happens, it is reassuring to know that as long as you still have the 'goods', you can always return to dancing for a fast cash injection.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    What about working 1-2 Saturday's per month? Like every other Saturday, or every 3rd Sat of the month. There's a girl I work with that recently graduated from college who has piles of student loans and isn't making enough money since she's at the bottom of the totem pole right now. So, she dances 1 night per wk to help supplement her income. That's kinda what I do too, I'm working in my field that I went to school for but it has such a high burnout rate that I can't do it full-time so I do my "real" job part time and dance part time. It really helps break up the mononitity (sp?) of it.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    i appreciate the suggestions guys but this isnt what i meant for this thread to be. i'm going to have a really tough time deciding what to do, but my thing with this thread was the customers implication that i should keep dancing even if it didnt make me happy. i thought that was an odd thing to say!

    but about the job.. i couldnt do it part time, leogirl. i could i guess dance 2 saturdays a month, but that would still be working a looot every other week. and yeah, melonie, youre right, i definately couldnt wait a while and then go back to this same school and try to work i don't think. this is the school i want to work at so it sucks! my plan was to dance for a while after graduation and then work in my field, but this school is nationally recognized. so i really dont want to risk losing the chance.
    Last edited by britt244; 09-25-2007 at 10:25 PM.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Melonie is a smart lady.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    My friend works with autistic and troubled children. It is an emotionally draining job. She actually had to stop doing it after a few years. But she did love it. If you were to work with autistic kids, it would be tough to have the energy to then go deal with assholes at the SC.

    I know, not the point of the thread. Some people look at their job as a means to an end, a way to make money so they can do something else at the end of the day. Perhaps this guy is such an person. Naturally he would consider income maximization as a priority.

    Others, like yourself, place value in the impact you will have on other people's lives. And what better way to do that than through your career.

    He isn't right or wrong, just his perspective.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    He isn't right or wrong, just his perspective.
    very true, i just was shocked at his reasons. it's odd for me to have someone tell me to turn down a great job offer to keep dancing. and like i said, i think the reason i felt so weird about it was because i somewhat agree with him and it might have been what i wanted to hear.

    i tried to explain to him that if i weren't happy dancing, i could come to work every day and make shit money based soley on the fact that it's obvious when people hate this job, no matter how much they try to hide it. he seemed sort of surprised and said, "so you're happy dancing now?" like that was so unusual! oh well, i guess that shouldnt even surprise me, haha.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    You can't dance forever you know, you are going to school now to get a degree for a job that you want, yea the money from dancing may be a lot better but what you're going to school for but it's going to be what makes you happy. Happiness is what matters, that's the thing with dancing, girls get so used to the money that cutting it like that is like quitting an addiction, very hard to do because your lifestyle is going to change with less income, but you're going to be happier with your new job.

    What's going to happen when you can't dance anymore if you decide to take that route and what you went to school for is gone?

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    ^ again, not the point of this thread. but to address your point, it isn't all about the money to me, obviously. i think i made that clear. its about being able to get by on the salary i would be given. a salary of a teacher's assistant straight out of college, even at a top notch private school, isn't a lot. i live in a very well off area, one of the richest counties in the country. (please nobody tell me to move. i grew up here, love it here, and never felt happy when i lived in other places for the last 4 years.) i NEED to worry about money when it comes to picking a job. it isn't about what i want, it really is about need here.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Along the way of the wise words of Melonie, put away money so the traumatic transition from stripper money to entry level pay is easier. Unless you're planning on being a career stripper, every year that you work as a stripper is one year less of experience in your field, hence less raises in your "straight job", and less money when you're much older.

    I look at how many times I went in and out of school, and if I had just stayed in, I would be starting my second year of law school now, and making great money in my internship or clerk position. I wish I had plowed straight through school and into a straight job - then I could be at home with my boyfriend at night, or married to him, or planning to have kids... not like now, where that's not even an option for a few more years

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    ^ oh i know, definately! i'm working on starting to save more. with court for my dui next month though that will be a problem i'm going to have mega fines and i cant work any more than i am right now because of school.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    I'd quit stripping in a heartbeat if I got my dream job. I would not choose money over happiness.

    I think that customer has issues. I bet he's miserable. Happy people don't say things like that.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    I'd quit stripping in a heartbeat if I got my dream job. I would not choose money over happiness.

    I think that customer has issues. I bet he's miserable. Happy people don't say things like that.
    True. Not false! It's like the same issue as would you rather be with a rich dick who mistreats you, or a regular guy who loves you the way you deserve. Never choose money over fulfillment! Money is easy to make, happiness is hard to come by!

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    i really hate it when guys say stuff about my money. they don't know shit about my money. i work at a club with pretty good money potential. i don't do that well. if i were a shark or a skank? yeah, i probably could.

    even in stripping, it isn't always all about the money. if it were, i'd be making a lot more of it.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    I'd quit stripping in a heartbeat if I got my dream job. I would not choose money over happiness.

    I think that customer has issues. I bet he's miserable. Happy people don't say things like that.
    I agree 100%. Take advice from your friends, people who have gone through similar things, people you trust. I wouldn't be asking advice from a customer except on clubs or something like that! You have to think through people's intentions and if they have your best interest at heart.

    BTW, congrats on your dream job!!!

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivacious View Post
    I agree 100%. Take advice from your friends, people who have gone through similar things, people you trust. I wouldn't be asking advice from a customer except on clubs or something like that! You have to think through people's intentions and if they have your best interest at heart.

    BTW, congrats on your dream job!!!
    thanks i wasnt asking his opinion, haha, i was just telling him about how they offered it to me. he offered his opinion on his own.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    I think it's a situation that all successful dancers who are going to leave dancing and start at a job that will pay less will have to face.

    I know when I start my career I will be taking a pay cut and I think it's gonna hurt a bit but a career that you want to do might be worth this.

    Stripping IMO is addictive due to the somewhat unlimited earning potential in a single night, the freedom and that you never know when it's going to pay out big (just like gambling).

    Even with all the negatives, I think all of us will miss some part of it when we stop.

    I don't think you should not start your career for dancing. But I am a fan of the idea of dancing for as long as you can and while you are still banking, saving a shitload of that money and then starting a career with a pay-cut.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I don't think you should not start your career for dancing. But I am a fan of the idea of dancing for as long as you can and while you are still banking, saving a shitload of that money and then starting a career with a pay-cut.
    thats what i wanted to do but if i want to work at this school, and i really do, i can't turn it down and then come back when i'm ready with a gap on my resume.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    ^^
    I feel your pain, really I do.

    I am about to finish law school and believe me I am sooooooo not ready to stop dancing.

    But it's the same deal, the resume gap!!
    I dont want to start working full time, the thhought of it makes me feel tired.

    My partner is really pressuring me to find a law-related job which will be like an internship (called articles of clerkship) becaus he wants me to stop dancing.

    This makes me sad.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Featured Member aussiebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Personally I would take up the job offer at least for now because as you said it is your dream job and at least see how it goes and if it really is what you want to do.

    You can always come back to dancing if it doesn't work out or isn't what you expected and then you will have both your degree and experience in that area of work.

    When it comes down to it though, although the money made in dancing is awesome and you might enjoy it, personally if it was my dream job I would be happier in that than with the extra money earned from dancing.

    Could you maybe just work one night a week to supplement your income as well? Also at least you know that you have made it as a dancer once and if money does get tight you have that to fall back on and are able to make a large sum of money in a single night if you have to.

    Good luck

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    I've had customers say that to me, too. I think they're all under the impression that we make +1k a night on a regular basis.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    i know you guys are trying to be helpful but please, i don't need advice about whether to take the job or not. that isn't something i'm focusing on right now and i don't really want to hear people's opinions. no offense, i totally dont mean that in a bad way, but i might make a thread about it later on or something. i just wasnt looking for that with my OP. but i will respond to this...

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiebelle View Post
    Personally I would take up the job offer at least for now because as you said it is your dream job and at least see how it goes and if it really is what you want to do.
    i can't take it and then quit. it would make the woman who got me my internship look bad and i refuse to do that.

    You can always come back to dancing if it doesn't work out or isn't what you expected and then you will have both your degree and experience in that area of work.
    i know what it will be. im interning there now and if i worked there i'd stay in the same classroom. i WANT to do the job, i just don't want to accept the pay.

    When it comes down to it though, although the money made in dancing is awesome and you might enjoy it, personally if it was my dream job I would be happier in that than with the extra money earned from dancing.
    would you? if it meant struggling for money? teacher's aids dont do well. and as i said i live in a pretty well-off area. i can't afford to take the job.

    Could you maybe just work one night a week to supplement your income as well? Also at least you know that you have made it as a dancer once and if money does get tight you have that to fall back on and are able to make a large sum of money in a single night if you have to.
    no. i refuse to put myself through that. i wouldnt be happy at my day job if i was working at night. that would mean working either 6 days a week or working 1 of the weekdays where i'd be at my dayjob, so then i would be exhausted both the day i worked and the next day. i have already said i'd be leaving to go to my day job at 6:30am. there is no possible way to dance with that schedule.

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    Default Re: a customer who understands it's about the money - and i don't like it

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    I've had customers say that to me, too. I think they're all under the impression that we make +1k a night on a regular basis.
    its either we make nothing or we make millions.. how annoying is that?

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