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Thread: When friends don't understand

  1. #1
    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default When friends don't understand

    My husband and i were going on a two week trip with my friend (fellow dancer, the one I travel with all the time) and her boyfriend. 3 days in Vegas, 11 in Hawaii. My dream vacay.

    Now we can't go.

    Due to our own lack of financial planning we can't afford the two weeks off and the $$ needed to go. We've always been able to make $$ (he tattoos) but business has not been good for either of us. While this sucks big donkey balls we have accepted this and are ok with it. As ok as we can be, we fucked up, nothing we can do, it sucks but that's life and part of being a grown up.

    My friend is not taking this as well as I am. I couldn't tell her we couldn't go and asked my husband to do it. I spent the whole day crying and fighting a migrane. We've texted a bit, I still love her but she thinks the reason we're not going is more than $$. She's been burned several times by other girls and I don't want her to think I'm doing it to.

    She wanted me to go to NC with her to work this week but there was no way i could make enough in a week to afford the trip. Also my Mom isn't well and I have to take her to the Dr, she can't drive.

    I'm not sure if there is anything I can say or do to make her
    understand. Our firends that my husband and I ride with are going to fall bike week in Myrtle Beach and have asked us to go, I can work in Myrtle if we go and I'm only a 6 hour drive from my Mom if I need to get back. I don't think my friend will understand if i go there instead of with her.

    I'm really confused about how to handle this. I love my firend and don't want to hurt her but why can't she understand?

  2. #2
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: When friends don't understand

    Do you have to tell her you went to MB?

  3. #3
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: When friends don't understand

    um. if they work together she'd end up knowing anyways.

    my best idea: invite her over for a heart to heart,and tell her everything. how much you wish you could go, and why you can't. Tell her how sad you are to let her down.....

    and talk to her about mb. tell her you feel like it'd be a really good op. for you to make $$, and that next trip you will most likely have some extra money saved up.

    i hope she understands.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: When friends don't understand

    There's no way to go to MB and her not know. richmond va is a very smal town.

    I called her today and she hasn't called me back. I think this is her way of letting me know how she feels.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: When friends don't understand

    Only thing you can do is talk to her and tell her all this yourself. I think having your hubby tell her the bad news was a bad move - makes you look more flakey. I would call her and tell her you really want to explain things, invite her to lunch or something and lay it all out. All the details, including the part about WHY you didn't tell her yourself in the first place, and how horrible you feel, etc.

    If she won't talk to you long enough to hear you out at least, I think she's not much of a friend and you can count it as a blessing you didn't find out in a worse way. If she will hear you out, I think yall will work it out.

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  6. #6
    Senior Member tattoogoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: When friends don't understand

    idk maybe just a thought but maybe your hubby can try Craigslist and see if he can sell some tattoos on there? idk just a thought


    "Face it girl, I still rock harder then you do!"

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: When friends don't understand

    I think you should explain it exactly as u have in your OP. If she is a good friend she should understand.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

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