so i have this custy whom i've known for 6 years who wants to marry me. A m i considerd in yours eyes a gold digger? That is the only reaon i would marry him though...




so i have this custy whom i've known for 6 years who wants to marry me. A m i considerd in yours eyes a gold digger? That is the only reaon i would marry him though...
yeah, but what do you care what we think?





^ well, is that you want to do? yes, it makes you a golddigger... but at least you can buy your happiness![]()
I dont think you would be a gold digger, I think you would be settling for less than you deserve. Life is just a bunch of problems and solutions and if you marry him you may not have money as a problem, but you would have a ton of other problems to offset the money.
According to your own words, techinically you are indeed a gold digger. But who cares what other people think, do what you want. It's your life.
Ummm... how rich is this guy?





ya i wanna know too, how $$$ are we talking? 1 mil - 5 mil? more? if it's 5 mil and under, honestly, i think it's not worth it. if it's more than well, maybe it's worth it, but i would only marry for love.
and yea, tootsie do you really care what we think?
Love it!
If you know how much he has, you're okay with it and know what your "wifely duties" will be, then it's your call.
Why is marrying for money less noble than for love? They're both different forms of security, IMO. But then I've gotten waaaaaaay bitter in my old age.
Whatever you do, don't sign anything. And if you have a grand or two to spare, have a forensic accountant look up just what he has in assets. you wanna cover your ass and not marry someone who has flashy shit but is leveraged up to their asshole.
"She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"
Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham





Hmm. Well marrying for money technically makes you a gold digger by definition. But like Nina said - - - one form of security or the other, it's your life and you can do what makes you happy. If people judge you for it, then it doesn't really matter. I wouldn't do it personally, but what is right for me or someone else isn't always right for everybody, and doesn't make a choice that someone else makes wrong. I would just find out as much as I could about this guys past. If he's rolling in money and not married make sure he doesn't have any kind of abusive tendencies, that is the kind of thing that is not worth it.
The only thing I would personally feel offended by "gold digging" is if a woman marries a man for his money and then divorces him as soon as she can just to get a hand on his assets.


I have to agree with this, I married for love, which did not last, and then accidentally got pregnant by my husband.. and since he is a wonderful man decided to have another baby to sort of complete the family. I'm with him for security and our family... not because I love him. If it was just me, I'd be out tomorrow. However, I want to be home for the kids when they're small, and I want to live in decent circumstances, and not least I want them to have an awesome dad - which he is. No, I don't love him, but we get along and being with him means I can raise my family the way I would want to. I don't see that as any worse than marrying or staying married for "love." Love is sometimes not what we think it is at the time anyway![]()
There's a rather intelligent quote at the end of "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" about how there's nothing wrong with marrying for money - you should watch it.





Look like a woman
Think like a man
Act like a lady
Work like a dog
- My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success





If you married him this will be like a business contract. What will be your wifey duty, Can you live with not being in love with a man. You decide to marry. Many women marry for money. They are not gold diggers. They have money themselves, people married for money all the time. It is up to you what you want out of life. You known him for six years. the question is what do you think? Not everyone has the same image for marriage. I know pleanty of people who do not marry out love. That is just the people who they are!
If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
Baruch Spindza
It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
The Stars
Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
Thomas Dewar
Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
Swedish Proverb
Sex for money is prostitution. The presence of a marriage contract does not change this.
However, there's nothing wrong with prostitution if both parties are consenting adults, and this particular form of prostitution happens to be legal in all 50 states. If this is what you want, you're a grown woman and you've got every right to do it. Just make sure you know all the details before you sign any contracts or licenses.
Yea, you'd be a golddigger... but I'm not going to sit here and judge you. It all depends on how much you like him vs. how much money he has. What YOU would be giving up would be your time, youth, energy, etc.
If you think school is hard, try being stupid.
Yes, you'd be a golddigger, but whatever right? When have you ever cared what we thought?
Not necessarily. I mean ...I have sex and get paid, but I am NOT a prostitute. A lot of people would argue otherwise...but I'm not. And there are plenty of reasons to be married other then sex...I'm sure he expects it...but it may be technically more about companionship and having pretty arm candy to take out.
To the OP....if it makes you happy..then do it. But 1) GET A PRE NUP. I cant stress this enough. Make SURE he has it all nice and legal(and in his will) that you get what you deserve should he die or you two divorce. If you plan to have kids(hell..even if you dont...accidents happen) make sure they are well taken care of before you even say I do.You dont want to end up in an Anna Nicole type court battle afterwards
2)make sur eyou know what you are getting into. WILL he want kids?Will he expect you to move away? Even things as simple as pets....if you are an animal lover and he isnt..will you have to live without them?
As long as you get everything clear beforehand...do whatever makes you happy





The grass always seems greener...and a lot of the time you find it's Astroturf.
If she's even considering it, it must likely be enough for her.
But again it's her choice. Yeah, she's a gold digger. She should own it! I've met so many women who marry for "love" but it's for emotional security. If someone can manage both, more power to them. But it seems that someone's always trying to get something from someone in a relationship, be it sex, emotional rescue or good 'ol filthy lucre.
"She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"
Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham
Yes, you'd be a gold digger, but so what?
But, a few practical concerns:
Do you KNOW, with tangible proof, that he is in fact wealthy? A lot of guys come in the club, blow their savings, claim to be millionaires to get us in bed, when in fact they may be struggling to pay their rent. If you do in fact decide to marry him, have your lawyers meet to go over his assets to make sure he does have money.
Do you know how much freedom you'd have? There'd be little point to marrying him for $$ if you wouldn't be able to spend it. Make sure you have a contract of some sort drawn up which states how much you are entitled, what freedom you have to spend it, etc.
And finally, what happens when you get older? Since you're marrying for money, it's practical too assume that when you are older and less attractive, this guy is going to want to replace you with a younger, hotter wife. What would you do for money then? If you aren't careful, he could divorce you and you'd have nothing. Plan for this, make sure a prenup is drawn up declaring a certain amount would go to you upon divorce, and make sure you know what is expected of you, such as, are you allowed to sleep with other men, or would he consider that adultery and ground for divorce? I know it seems like a great idea now, but in the future, you could end up with nothing.
Depending upon your state laws, you might want to negotiate a pre-nup. But otherwise, if you believe you can tolerate the intimacies that are inherent in most marriages and the union will upsize your standard of living, why not? Presumably, he has thought it through and would be happy to share the wealth in exchange for whatever he hopes to get from you.
FBR
Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.
My two cents: Don't settle! You will regret it after the money is spent and you are still stuck in a loveless marriage. It's really not worth it.
^^ I assume that her posting the question here at all is a strong indicator that she is leaning towards being pragmatic. In other words, she's more than willing to considering settling if the price is right.
FBR
Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.
I don't know. I just couldn't do this, marry for money I mean... life is too short, and there are many things more important. Not that money is a bad thing to have, but the money you earn yourself feels good to me, but handouts from another just don't sit well with me. And I just couldn't fake feeling something for someone I don't, just for money.





Agreed. Especially with the part about checking him out first so you know you're not marrying someone who only LOOKS wealthy. Maybe he's in debt up to his eyeballs and you'll be just as screwed as he is...
Other than covering your ass, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks about it? You do what makes you happy.
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