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Thread: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

  1. #1
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Sad Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    I'm almost at the end of week 2 and the Yoga training is getting so much harder. Our days are long and intense. I broke down the day before yesterday and bawled my eyes out. I'd never cried like that in my life. I felt so lonely when I was crying because no one stopped to give me a hug..
    That's something I wasn't really looking for but, I just thought it was odd.
    Today as I went to the beach, I ran into another trainee crying and I couldn't help but, comfort her. She is an amazing person but, she didn't think she could handle being here..We're learning so much in the lectures and develing deep into out past issues and doing our best to let them go. So many people are breaking down as well. There are tears in and out of class..

    This is so hard because I don't have the kids here which, I never fully realized until now how much they keep me sane and focused. When you have others to care for its easy to not focus on yourself and your issues.

    I'd appreciate your post even if it's only a smilie..I just really need to know there are people out there that "have my back" and are rooting for me.

    Thank you,
    Farrah
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  2. #2
    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Darlin,' we have your back like J Lo in a spandex romper. I'm sorry it's gotten harder- hang in there, you can do it!!!

  3. #3
    Featured Member kikiwiki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Yea girl! You're a strong woman. You can do it! XOXOXO
    "Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi

    "Be The Best, F!ck The Rest"- P.P.


  4. #4
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Girl, if you can handle raising kids and all the other crap you've dealt with (only a tiny portion of which I'm familiar) you can handle this!


    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  5. #5
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Thanks ya'll even now the water works are gathering in my baby blues.. It's hard cause I still have to focus on what's going on.. I gotta head across the street to Starbuck's and get an egg sandwich before our 9pm lecture. Which I hope will end by 1 am and not drag on to 4 or 5...
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  6. #6
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    You can do it! Like Bridgette said, if you can handle everything else, this will be a piece of cake.

  7. #7
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.



    Girl, you beat cancer. Is there anything left to fear?

    I have my crappy moments but then I think, I have to Rise Above. I can help other people if I'm strong, I can't help other people if I'm being a peanuthead.

    I read the Bible Story about Samson and Delilah when I was a kid. The story is about a strong man who loses his strength in a moment of weakness.
    God gives it back to him because he prays & says he'll do God a favor if God gives him the strength to do so...
    So God gives him the strength.

    You are who you are for a reason. You have to squeeze through this keyhole right now to get to a place where you can help yourself and help others as well. I'm not quite sure what they're asking of you to cause hardship, but rest assured, if anyone can do it, it's you.

    Feel free to PM. Hugs oxoxoxoxoxox

  8. #8
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Pain is growth and growth is good!

    You're doing great, hang in there
    -E
    hilarious signature

  9. #9
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    *hugs* Farrah you are a genuinely sweet person, and I am always amazed that you handle what you do. It's ok to break down and cry, because sometimes you just NEED to let out all the emotions you have inside you. Hang in there, you can get through this. You are a really strong person, and I have no doubt you'll conquer this and come out ahead.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  10. #10
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Wow, I missed something somewhere with what youre doing but if youre doing Bikram training I can imagine it being extremely intense. I think Bikram causes some sort of emotional release anyway, even just the odd class. Just stick with it because in the long run you will feel so much better and stronger for it, all that crap has to come out!

    Im definatly rooting for you but you know you dont need us really! (-:
    All the best. Ill be interested in hearing more about it when youve finnished as Im thinking id like to do it aswell sometime.
    Take care, youll be fine! (-:

  11. #11
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Just wanted to add that having the kids around doesn't keep you sane and focused...it keeps you preoccupied from having to deal with the things you need to deal with. It's good that you are taking this time for yourself and not being distracted from these things. Congrats on releasing those feelings as opposed to repressing them further.

    Sorry no one was there to comfort you...but, I'm sending you lots and lots of big hugs.

    You're doing great! Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll just keep getting better and better!!!


  12. #12
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    You're doing great. I'm really touched that you stopped to give support to your fellow trainee; that's very kind of of you. You'll make it!

  13. #13
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    I know it's a lot easier for me to be strong for others than it is for myself. That's why I asked for support..I don't know too many people here. I can't say that I trust too may of them either..People are here for their own reasons..Some are here to hook up, some are here to get their certificates,some want to open a studio, some for the life changing experience, it's endless.
    I originally signed up because I wanted to free myself of the pain and memories that make me question myself and at times causes me to feel "unworthy" even though I have all these accomplishments under my belt.
    Later down the path I ended up volunteering at a drug rehab on Mother's Day..
    I ran into a woman there who shared her story w/ me, I told her about the yoga.
    The next week I went to a posture clinic at my studio, where I met a senior teacher, who changed my life. I realized that this form of yoga could be used for so many things and that for me not to accept the changes for not only myself but for other's benefit would be the biggest mistake of my life.

    There is a guy from my studio who is also doing the training but, we're not connected on any levels. He's actually pretty creepy.

    There is alot of competition at the studio I came from.. That's just how the setting is. It's located in Silicon Valley and most people are super stressed in that area anyway and it shows in our studio.
    I have a roomie while I'm here but, we don't talk at all. I ended up telling her off one night after she blamed me for not knowing her dialogue. (She is a big irresponsible baby, even though she's got a few years on me.)
    That was the last straw for me, as she had all ready done a few other things.


    This place is very spiritual yet, at the same time cut throat if that makes sense.
    There are people from every walk of life,every country, social status. You name it, it's here. I can't say that I fully trust anyone here, esp. not to pick me up if I fall.

    I have a lot of hurt and pain from my past. Some of which I've shared on the board but, believe me that's just the very tip of the iceberg. I'm ready to let it go, really I've been trying to release for years.. I just didn't know how and what to do.
    Now that I do, the thought of saying good bye to the damage that keeps me awake some nights is something I want to explore.. I just know that when it does come out it will be so much more intense than what happened the other day.

    Even though most of us on SW never meet in RL we all share a unique bond and there is a great deal of genuine support on this board..

    My determination is still strong at this point, I'm just worried that it won't be and I'd like to have a safety net in place. Already your posts have made all warm and fuzzy. That's something I really need right now..

    Now about the yoga..I'll be sure to post more about it during and after the training is completed. I strongly suggest anyone who is interested try it !
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  14. #14
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    You have my admiration and support. Stick with it. The results will be worth the temporary sacrifices.

  15. #15
    Sitri
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    "You Mustn't Quit"

    When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
    When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
    When the funds are low and the debts are high
    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
    When care is pressing you down a bit,
    Rest! if you must—but never quit.

    Life is queer, with it twists and turns,
    As every one of us sometimes learns,
    And many a failure turns about
    When he might have won if he’d stuck it out;
    Stick to your task, though the pace seems slow—
    You may succeed with one more blow.

    Success is failure turned inside out—
    The silver tint of the could of doubt—
    And you never can tell how close you are,
    It may be near when it seems afar;
    So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
    It’s when things seem worst that You Mustn’t Quit.

  16. #16
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Hi I just woke up and found this post and I want you to know I have been following your posts about the class and I think its aswsome you are very inspiring. You are doing great you should be so proud of your hard work I know all us swers are proud of you.

  17. #17
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Wow-that sounds very hard. People are probably so tied up in their own things that they can't see outside themselves to hug a person. So we hug you! You're going to come out of this so freed of all that lingering bad crap, I can tell. Go Farrah!

  18. #18
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    HUGS.......

    xoxoooxox

  19. #19
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Obviously one goal of your Bikram boot camp is to stretch (!) students' physical and, moreso, emotional limits. But as others have said: You're an enormously strong woman. You will triumph in this, as you have in so much else. In the Zen sense, don't TRY and focus, simply BE focused.

    Sending you supportive virtual hugs.

  20. #20
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Farrah, your training sounds a lot like the Forrest Yoga we've had at our own studio. Intense physically AND emotionally AND spiritually. I know Jivamukti can be tough too (my favorite). Regardless, I know you've not only got it in you, you'll feel positively reborn by the end of it. Cheers to you!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  21. #21
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    After all you've gone through to get there....stick it out..you CAN do this. Keep your mind on the end when it's hard. Keep imagining how much better your life will be and how you will be able to provide for your kids when you are an instructor....

    Hugs honey...keep your chin up. When things get hard...just come to SW. You know the crazyness here will make you feel more normal again!

  22. #22
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Wow, I had no idea it was so stressful there. Know that we're here for you always

  23. #23
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    Farrah, I really believe in bodywork as a way to access our emotions, especially for people like myself who physically store their stress, fear, and anger, so I can understand how you came to this path.

    I am really impressed and inspired by how far you are taking it. You're going to help people with it yourself, and you're there for the right reasons regardless of the rest of the people around you.

  24. #24
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    are you living in an ashram?

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Attn ALL SWers, I need your support.

    *hugs*hugs* it sounds like this program may have planned for breaking people down, if so many of you are feeling this way. I'm sure you will come out of this a much stronger person!

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