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Thread: Hiding It

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    Default Hiding It

    I've had it with dating guys who know I'm a stripper. I want to hide it from now on. I don't want to hear about finding someone who accepts it, blah blah blah. I need to come up with a phony job that can't be verified by anyone. Most jobs have a public location, so that makes it tough. Any advice or experience you guys can share would be greatly appreciated.

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    There are tons of threads about this. Do you want relationships or just to have fun with the guys? Because it's not very healthy to enter a relationship with someone but not want to tell them the truth about you.

    Good covers are bartender/cocktail waitress at a strip club. Or waitress at a regular restaurant. A really good one is house cleaner--my dancer friend has used this one for 9 years on her dad. It would be hard to explain the night hours with this to a bf though. If you date them long enough they will find out, and then they won't trust you anymore and it will cause tons of drama.

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    Veteran Member hearts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    You could say you work in a call center. They have night shifters there to serve calls from other time zones. No one would ever want to visit you either!

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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    I always though trust was one of the most important things in a relationship. I mean if you're just fooling around then I suppose its not a big deal, but I wouldn't want to enter a relationship lying to somebody. I'd personally feel really betrayed if I were with somebody and one day I found out that they had been lying to me about something since day 1.


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    Default Re: Hiding It

    I second the telemarketer or call centre operator phony jobs. Why? This way you can explain the odd hours as well as the income as alot of call centres and telemarketer jobs that I am aware of/about have a base pay (as such) plus bonuses. Plus since it is not a job that is that glamourous or exciting.. people won't pursue the matter.

    YET if you want to enter an intimate relationship with someone which is more than just sex or 'fun' then this is NOT a good foot to start off with as you really have to think about it: would you accept a potential "boyfriend" if he lied about his work etc.

    It sets the relationship up to start off on the wrong foot IMO.

    I dunno. If I wanted a relationship which was more than casual/fun with someone, I would honestly have them accept me as me and what I do as it is a trust/communication issue nothing more... if I find myself having to lie to a person i have CHOSEN to share my life and myself with.. instead of family.. yeah.. i'd have a serious long look at myself.


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  6. #6
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    What about staying single and concentrating on making money for now?

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    I always though trust was one of the most important things in a relationship. I mean if you're just fooling around then I suppose its not a big deal, but I wouldn't want to enter a relationship lying to somebody. I'd personally feel really betrayed if I were with somebody and one day I found out that they had been lying to me about something since day 1.
    i'm going to suggest that the previous stripper issued guys weren't that great to begin with and only pushed away by your job, clearly lots of us on here are open in our relationships and it works out, its part of who you are and you shouldn't be ashamed of it

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    100% agreed with saphire. You just need to find the right guy who will accept it. to lie about a part of you is absolutely positively the wrong way to enter a relationship. trust and honesty are most important.

    Love it!

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    It's funny how often these threads come up, because it has never occured to me to lie to my friends, immediate family, and especially potential or current partners about stripping. When I started stripping I told all my friends. Some were less than pleased; they can suck a dick, in a loving and humorous sense, of course. I still love and talk to most of them, we just don't discuss my job, but I never lie about it. My parents and siblings know... they're not thrilled, but whatever. My BF especially knows. Hell, he knew before we even went on our first date, because it was that important to me to clear the air.

    So you see, the very notion that you'd consider hiding it is outrageous to me. I'm not saying you're a bad person or foolish or wrong, but it doesn't compute. There is nothing wrong with your job. You must believe this statement and be the living proof of it. Try this persona on for size: as of this very moment, you are a smart, financially saavy, well-groomed, in-shape, socialable, confident, and self-possessed chick who is vaguely amused-- perhaps a bit smug-- but otherwise unruffled by all the hating that goes on around you. If I never learned anything else doing this job, I learned that that's how you conduct yourself when you're a stripper.

    Incidentally, I only ever considered getting involved with one guy who proved to be a Hater. As soon as his true colors came through, I walked out the door and cut him out of my life completely. I also wrenched off his license plate and flung it into someone's dumpster, but that petty revenge part is optional.
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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    I agree with others here. You could probably get away with it if it's a fling or one night stand kind of thing but what if you change your mind and decide you want something more? Eventually you have to admit the big lie and it sounds like some cheesy movie except the guy will probably be less forgiving in real life.
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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    I don't think that lying is the right thing to do either. How would you feel if he started the relationship without telling you something important?

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    it sounds like you're haven't really accepted and forgiven yourself for being a stripper, because if you were ok w/ it, the idea of being w/ smne that judges you for it would appaul you

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    Default Re: Hiding It

    You guys talk about finding a guy who "accepts" it, but in my experience, those guys are pathetic losers who can't pull an attractive girl unless she has some serious issues finding other guys--like she's a stripper. I'm sorry, but it's true. I like goodlooking, educated guys, guys my close to my age, guys with good jobs who live in nice houses and drive nice cars. Hey, at least I'm honest. I hate the idea of letting my job put me out of their league. HATE IT.

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Nevertheless, if you're talking about an actual relationship here, the fact is, people have a right to know who they're dating and make their own decisions in that area. Yeah, I would say any guy who wrote you off over that is a shallow jerk. But that doesn't give you the right to lie to someone from day 1.

    Basically, if you're going to lie about what you do for a living, I would suggest you make it very clear from the start that you are only interested in a casual thing.

  15. #15
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Quote Originally Posted by soho View Post
    You guys talk about finding a guy who "accepts" it, but in my experience, those guys are pathetic losers who can't pull an attractive girl unless she has some serious issues finding other guys--like she's a stripper. I'm sorry, but it's true.
    Well that's nice and insulting.

    Your experience isn't fact. My husband doesn't have an issue with me stripping, and he isn't an ass either.

    Good luck to you in lying to future boyfriends, though.

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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Quote Originally Posted by soho View Post
    You guys talk about finding a guy who "accepts" it, but in my experience, those guys are pathetic losers who can't pull an attractive girl unless she has some serious issues finding other guys--like she's a stripper. I'm sorry, but it's true. I like goodlooking, educated guys, guys my close to my age, guys with good jobs who live in nice houses and drive nice cars. Hey, at least I'm honest. I hate the idea of letting my job put me out of their league. HATE IT.
    Okay I found that very insulting. I think you'll find that girls on SW who date/marry men often date "goodlooking, educated guys, etc" who accept it and aren't pathetic losers for any reason. How are you out of guy's leagues? if they think they are too good for you, is lying going to make that better? How is being a mysteriously well paid waitress/bartender keeping you IN their league?

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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Look, I didn't mean to insult anyone. I am a dancer for Pete's sake! But the facts are the facts. We're all adults here, we know by now that just because a thing is wrong or unjust, that doesn't mean it's not a reality. And, hey, if someone is going to pass unfair judgement on me, why should I have qualms about lying to them? Just about evens the score, if you ask me.

  18. #18
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Yep. Cuz 2 wrongs make a right!

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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Well, hey honesty might be a nice idea, but we lie all the time in reality. Hey, we dancers lie for a living. Don't say it's not true!

  20. #20
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    I lie at work. Yes, I do.

    I don't lie to people who are important to me. I value myself and my relationships enough to know that isn't a good idea.

    Stripper me lies, REAL me doesn't.

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    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    It seems like all you're looking for is permission to lie. Fine, so lie. Say you're a telemarketer. Have fun dealing with a relationship founded on untruth. I wouldn't choose it for myself, which is largely why I didn't choose it for myself [in my relationship with a cute, funny, adorable, kind, educated, gainfully employed guy 2 years my senior].
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    It's funny, I knew this thread would arouse a lot of defensiveness. I just didn't know how LITTLE helpful advice it would ellicit. Sigh.

  23. #23
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Well, the question is, how much of your real life do you want to be real? Sure, we may act different in the fantasy world of the club, but don't you want to be yourself when you're not there? The best part of a relationship is when the walls break down, and you know you're loved for you.

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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Well, Vivacious, it's a damned shame guys don't want their little cupcake stipping down and simulating sex on strange men. . . . . Oh, they do?

  25. #25
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Hiding It

    Ummm...okay, and who's being defensive here?

    You want to lie. Fine. You're a waitress.

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