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Thread: Lesbian - To tell or not

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    Senior Member Noneya's Avatar
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    Default Lesbian - To tell or not

    I'm not sure if this post is in the correct board. Pls. feel free to move it, if so.
    (I've done a search on this question but can't seem to find anything. Forgive me if this question has already been asked!)

    Okay. This question goes out to the ladies who are in or was in a lesbian relationship, or even those who know other girls that are in the same situation.

    When a customer asks if you have a man, what do you say? Are you truthful about being in a lesbian relationship, do you lie and say you do have a "boyfriend", or lie and say that you are single?

    In my experience, every time a customer would ask if i had a boyfriend, I would tell them the truth and say "no, but I do have a girlfriend." So of course, they would answer with "really?" Which would then be followed by a ton of other questions... followed by them not bothering to spend any more money on me, as if it was a turn off or something! It also could be that they are thinking they may never have a chance with me outside of the club anyway - so what's the point.

    Any tips ladies?

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    i try to gage the answer based on what they would be into...I throw out comments/questions about lesbians or bi women to see how they feel about the topic and go from there.

    ie...custy: do you have a boyfriend Me: (flirtingly) hmmm... do you have that male fantasy about two women? Them: Yes Me: my girlfriend blah blah blah

    Them: No i cant stand lesbians Me: Hey everyone gets to do whatever makes them feel good damnit! i like boys...blah, blah, blah

    one time a custy was like you have a girlfriend don't you and i said no and he started nodding his head yes and repeated you have a girlfriend don't you...and i said i mean YEEEESSS I do and continued the conversation from there...I date men and women so it wasn't a stretch to continue the convo.

    I had a regular who hated the idea of dancers being lesbins...i openly had a girlfriend at the time and some hating ass girls told him. I denied it and said they were jealous of "us"...lol...

    I play it by ear. The times i've said no but i have a girlfriend it usualy got them egged on more...can i come watch, if you guys ever want a boy toy, etc...

    whatever makes the dollars float from their pockets to my purse *shrugs*
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I almost never tell.



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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    i learned not to.

    i'm bi, but i told a guy i was 60/40, more on the girl's side. every time he comes in now, he calls me 60/40.

    NOT FUN.

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I love telling them I have a girlfriend who's very jealous. I don't know why they love it but I stumbled across that gem one day when I was in a fanciful mood! They want to hear all about how she doesn't like their eyes on me and knowing what they're thinking blah, blah, blah.... Good stuff!
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I tell them I have a gf, but say "Don't worry though, I'm an equal opportunity molester!"




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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Saying you have a gf is fun and fuels the fantasy for guys that are into that. I would not ever say that you are a lesbian, that comes off as intimidating. Customers can be a bit simple minded and to them lesbian will mean "man hating."

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    well i do like girls however, i dont really call myself a 'lesbian' as i can not think of being in a real relationship with another woman..

    BUTTTT....yes i agree with zabrina....sometimes SOME men take "lesbian" as they have no chance with u once so ever and u hate men.

    i usually giggle and say "well i like both boys and girls...." and they usually get all excited. or if they ask if i like girls, ill say "well girls are fun!"

    i will usually never tell them i DO have a b/f. i rather just say a girlfriend whom i like to have fun with.

    i dont (really) have a g/f tho..even tho it wud be fun to have one lol.
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Maybe i will start lying and say I have a girlfriend when this question comes up. I'm so tired of this question!

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I would think that it would only help with most guys, though I agree the word lesbian is probably best avoided.

    Guys seem to be under the impression that lesbians aren't really lesbians and really just want to take their girlfriends along and do a threesome with them. Ugh.
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    Veteran Member Maisumi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Leave it open, say you're single (even if you're not) and if the sexual orientation question pops up then say that you don't mind/like batting for the other team.

    In my experience, it has always worked in my favour because:

    1) It lures the guy in with false hope that he's got a chance
    2) Guys love girls who love girls, it's just a fact

    And if you're ever asked what your plans are after work, say you're going to be busy entertaining a lady friend *cue obvious suggestion of male company from said PL* and this is when you say, "We'll see.. after a few more dances."

    Never. Fails.


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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I don't tell..I've had customers who are actually turned off by bi/lesbian women.







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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    From my experience I've found that if a man is involved in some part of the equation such as I'm bi and my boyfriend and I sleep with other girls together then your a cool/hott chick but if you say I'm a lesbian guys know they have no chance in hell with you (even if you were straight they wouldn't but still) DON'T tell custies or the girls at work that your gay ((I've had little bitchs at my work use that shit against me...try explaining that to a regular who thinks hes dating you lol)

    I always say I'm single...take their number and then never call them...or get a number that is just a voicemail that way you have a number to give out if you don't know how to say no (like myself)


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    Senior Member Noneya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Thanks for all the input ladies. Looks like my sexual orientation will have to be kept as a secret, at least to some extent.

    I definitely got negative responses and actions from customers regarding this. Not sure if I ever used the word "lesbian". Regardless, I still got plenty of negative reactions.

    Come to think of it, there have indeed been a couple times where I said I had a "boyfriend." There was only one custy in particular that seemed a bit turned off that I wasn't single.

    Win some, lose some I guess!

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Tell them whatever they want to hear! We are actresses.

    And oh, I have had tons of girls tell the custies that I'm lesbian, and then the custies ask me, and then I tell them that of course I'm not gay, I'm straighter than an arrow!

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I'm not a lesbian and wouldn't even classify myself as being bi, but if a customer asks if I have a boyfriend, I say I do have a boyfriend, I don't lie. Guys love girl on girl action, it's a fact, I have never met a straight guy who hasn't, so it's good to tease them and say you are bi and have your friends but are still attracted to men even if you are a lesbian. I say this because the customer comes into the strip club for the fantasy experience, if you are a lesbian and tell your customer then they are automatically going to think you have no attraction to them and are faking, which we do, but we want them to think we are attracted to them and that isn't going to happen if they know you're a full lesbian.

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I've realized that people can tend to be homophobic and fickle. I only tell the ones that I feel comfortable around. Sometimes some people give you a weird vibe, that means you can't tell. But in the overall, I think most men get turned on by that. If you tell them yea, they'll get all excited and they all of a sudden get this endless motivation to want to turn you straight or bi. Most of the time when they ask me, I tell them I have a boyfriend, because I know where they wanna take it to. The ones that are pushy would keep going, "how long have you 2 been together? Does he treat you right? Can we be friends? (this one is the most popular phrase)" and all that bull shit. So i tell them, yea we've been together for years now, and its getting really serious. As a matter of fact, we are arranging our engagement, and no we can't be friends because my boyfriend is very jealous. Now, that right there, shuts them up.
    Just make up some big fantastic lie, and believe you me, they'll fall for it. or you can get yourself a fake engagement ring and wear it. Anytime any of them wanna bring up the question, you raise you finger in delight and point at the ring. Thats the ultimate shut-ta-upper right there.

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Quote Originally Posted by austinatalie View Post
    Maybe i will start lying and say I have a girlfriend when this question comes up. I'm so tired of this question!
    never fear chicka... i will be your girlfriend! then you don't have to lie

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    Many of the girls at my work get along very well and out of the floor theres a lot of times one of us will walk by and slap the other girl's ass or grab her tits and ask the guys something like "Oh, she has just about the best boobies in the club, doesn't she fellas?" The guys for the most part tend to get a real kick out it and somewhat often ask about sexual orientations because of this. If i get a good vibe from them about the topic, i will usually (in a flirty voice) say "I feel very firmly BOTH ways!" and smile real cute. If they ask which i like better I usually reply in as sexy a tone as i can muster at the time with "Oh that really depends on my mood...Women are so soft and sexy/hot/beautiful, but nothing comes close to the strength/muscular feel/etc of a man's touch!"


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    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    I'm openly gay and I never deny or hide it.

    Every1 from the regulars to my managers to my coworkers know I'm 100% gay haven't been w/ a man for over 10 yrs and have no desire to ever kind of lesbian. However I get along w/men and like most of them as buddies--most my bestfriends are guys and I can relate and sometimes since I generally think like 1 I know alot of what works on me works on them--soo I learned good tricks from my exes that work like magic on them.

    I also don't think it's my customers personal bissness to know anything about my life so if they can't figure that out by the battle axe bulldagger I wear on my arm to the way I look/stare and play with the other women around me then I don't feel it's my place to blow his dislusion even if it cracks me up inside when they find out and then start telling me they had no clue or they choice to say that aleast I'm not 1 of those butch lesbians...Yeah know becuz a butch lesbian could never look as hott as I do dolled up to make a living as a stripper lol.Whatever buddy.

    I do at some point end up telling a reg customer I'm in a realtionship if I'm in 1, or telling that i'm gay when I feel I don't want them to think I'm lending them on if they are having a major crush on me--cuz I don't mislead any1 and I'm really open about stuff in general.

    So i have do regular customers who know I do drag and that I'm a dyke who have no problem with it. Infact I never had a problem other then 1 guy in the VIP room who dissrespectfully asked me to give him head (like he was giving me an order) and str8up I told him I'm gay no way.

    Anyhow he went out of the room huff and puffing about how could they hire a dyke and my boss was like why did you tell him and I said well even if I wasn't I'm not a whore, but I would of told him I had AIDS(which I don't have) if that meant he wouldn't treat me like I owed him sex or was going to rape me. What does me being gay have anything to do with the fact I'm a dancer and if this guy wants to complain that I won't fuck him that's against the law anyways and my boss knows I never promise any customer anything more then dancing so he asked the customer what his problem was when I was simply doing my job and willing to dance for him. The customer couldn't say that his real problem was that I wouldn't give him a BJ soo he left upset that was that. All 99.9% of the time when I've dance for or done rooms w/ a customer and I say no they hear it and if I tell them I'm gay at that point ussually it's so they don't take it personal which none of them have even if they try to convert me or change my mind. I think I keep my customers happy becuz gay or not i give a great lapdance, I'm sexy, and I treat them how i would want to be treated interms of sexaul attention if i was a customer paying to be teased. Even though I'm not attracted to them it's not an issue becuz I never treat them with any disgust or disrespect and in a way I have fun with teasing and having sexual power over some1 soo they don't mind. A few I'm even oddly attracted to in ways that are not exzactly sexual for me, but there is just something sexual about how I know I turn them on that is enough for me to have something to work with ith them.

    I have had other dancers tell customers I was gay to use it against getting a dance from me and maybe I have lost a dance or two, but generally it stops a customer just as much as a ring would which come on isn't any. Law of attraction is the harder it is to have something the more they want--plus when does the idea of 2 women turn some1 who likes women off??? Next to when hell freezes over. Like I said I'm sure some consversative homophonic types feared away from a dance from me--but how many of those are in the clubs and not scared off by my tattoos to begin with.

    Being openly gay has helped me work w/ other girls expecailly when the other dancer was my g/f or lover and thier are female customers and many others that want to go watch 2 hott dancers put on a tease show.

    Strangely enough I had many male customers who are bi or who were very fetishy with me because maybe they fanastised about being a girl soo i had regulars who liked hearing about my sexlife with my girlfriends and wanted to pretend that I was thier secert husband (I made 1 football player tell me to fuck him like a bitch which was fun even if it was just a mind game we played). I really have some stories that are really way out there because I was soo open alot of people felt very open about thier sexuality with me.

    Sometimes i wonder if I would make more if i was str8 and in my mind I probably would just do porn if it had anything to do with sex. i think I enjoy dancing becuz it's a tease and that if anything being a dyke that dances kinda give me a powertrip getting to pull the ultimate tease on men who I honestly feel nothing for soo maybe in some ways that is what makes me good at what I do. I don't know. I just know that i couldn't be happy in my life in the closet and that in an odd way the stripclub has been the most accepting place i have ever been with the fact I'm gay. Maybe it's just my club--maybe it's that i got the job dancing w/ 1 of my exes, maybe alot of things or jusy how it worked out.

    I'm just saying for me it has been a good experience stripping and being open about my sexuality. It can be done and I know of a few dancers who also are all out lesbians--even though I don't know if most the others are out at work, but at the same time it depends. I know of 1 dancer in a club down the street from mine that was a bodybuilder street figher badass dancer with an awesome build who got deep into a situation with an obessed customer who found out she was gay and had her jumped, raped, and killed by 4men. That ofcourse could happen to any dancer who deals with an obessed customer, but my BFF was her friend and every1 saw it go down and soo I'm not even going to pretend we don't live in a world that can be downright hateful and even dangerious to be gay you just have to keep in mind safety 1st with who you choice to tell. Like I said I'm openly gay and still most of the time I don't feel I need to tell any1 about it--i ussually do, but you don't have to and maybe your should decide what your comfront level is and with who before as I focus 1st on my job and relation to my customer before ever deciding on what level of being personal I should be with that person.
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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    When I had a girlfriend (who I coincidentally met at the strip club!) I would sometimes tell guys. I would gauge their reaction first. It REALLY depends on what type of customers you attract. I found most of my customers were not super interested in the girl on girl stuff so I just said I was single. If I could tell they had a thing for girl on girl, I would play it up. Little did they know my girlfriend at the time was probably more manly than them. Lol.

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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    During my year and change of dancing in Portland, I told about my three-person bi open marriage (though I didn't always call it a marriage) and never had any good custy take exception to it... but Portland is weird and I'm weird and I tended to attract the oddball, armchair intellectual clientele in every place I went. If your stride is being the normal girl, it might not go the same.

    I think when I go back to it I'm not going to talk about my relationship as much (though it DID lead to a lot of good "what sex do you like" conversations, which are good for getting custies interested, and also tended to keep the OTC-clingers off) but I'll certainly still announce that I'm bisexual.

    It's really about marketing image... an energy drink and an alcoholic beverage use different ad campaigns and if you tried marketing an alcoholic drink with an energy drink commercial, or vice versa, people would get the wrong vibe. I don't pass for ordinary -- I can't cut out half my vocabulary without slipping, for one thing -- so it's easier to go along with a quirky image, and bi works out to quirky. Mileage may vary... and if you find yourself in a place where it works out to less money, change strategies.

    I think if I were straight or gay I'd still advertise as bi, though, because it's a great opening for either "wow, so (two-girl-fantasy question)?" --"Oooh, that sounds like my cup of tea" or "but you like men, right?" --- "Oh, yeah. I like men a <i>lot</i>." depending on which way the customer wants to take it. But I imagine it works best in metropolitan locales...

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lesbian - To tell or not

    And goddamn, UV69... it's terrible to hear what happened to that dancer.

    Argh. I think in my lifetime we'll see a world in which homophobia and transphobia are no longer commonplace... but it's not here yet.

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