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Thread: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

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    Senior Member GentlemanX's Avatar
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    Default Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    I looked at this girl before sitting down and decided she was not my type. She comes over and asks if I want company. I politely say, "No, I think I'm good for now." She gets an attitide and says "I'm not asking if you want a dance." I say "Well, I'm not really in the mood right now," and I look away. She says, "Don't tell me you don't want a dance!" and gets really upset. I'm trying my best to be polite. I say, "Well, I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?" She gets pissed off and leaves in a huff.

    I see her talk to a really attractive dancer. The attractive dancer walks by. I say hi. The attractive dancer gives me a really nasty look and gives me the finger.

    Sheesh. I was at a loss for words. I have never seen anything like that. Then I got some dances from the next girl that walked by.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    haha... welcome to the stripclub

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    Senior Member Masscott's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Don't sweat it man, I've seen that many times. She was probably having a bad night and you put her over the top. Your lucky though, there has been a few occasions to where the dancers had guys removed via the bouncer just because they felt disrespected.

    You did the right thing.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    *Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.

    **A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.




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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    to be honest, when i just honestly try to sit with a guy because i am bored, and not feeling like working, this is what happens to me! i ask if i can sit and watch the stage with them, and they tell me no!

    i'm like, "are you serious? i wasn't going to hustle you!" and they are like "suuuuuure"... so then i do get catty and tell them lots of insults. girls can get cranky when they just want to rest thier feet

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    LOL was it my club?? hehe.

    Very common indeed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
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    Veteran Member betterthaneden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    to be honest, when i just honestly try to sit with a guy because i am bored, and not feeling like working, this is what happens to me! i ask if i can sit and watch the stage with them, and they tell me no!

    i'm like, "are you serious? i wasn't going to hustle you!" and they are like "suuuuuure"... so then i do get catty and tell them lots of insults. girls can get cranky when they just want to rest thier feet
    ^^^
    i do this. i know i shouldnt get irritated, & just move on, but sometimes its hard to take it in stride.

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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    It always shocks me when I politely ask if I can sit down and they just flat out tell me No. A better, nicer thing to say is that you are waiting on someone else.

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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    I think the dancer was justified in giving you the bird.

    First, I don't know if you made eye contact with the dancer before she came over, but if you did, then she probably thought you were interested in a dance.

    I'll know if I want a dancer to come over by first seeing her on stage and deciding that I want a dance from her. I never make eye contact with a dancer as she's walking by to see if she's my "type." Just looking at her and checking her out as she walks by will set off her radar that you might be interested. You don't even have to make eye contact, sometimes.

    So, don't trip the dancer's radar off if you're not interested. They don't have time to play games.

    The rest of your comments to the dancer came off as a little arrogant. The dancers have to put up with rejection from losers all day and your slightly disrespectful attitude set her off. It may not totally be the words but the way you said it.

    Now, if you don't set off her radar, and she comes over and asks you for a dance, and you said politely, "No, thanks," or "No thanks, I'm waiting for so and so," or some other polite excuse, then she might have just walked off.

    But, setting off the radar and then arrogantly rejecting her would piss anyone off.

    Accidentally setting off her radar means you have to be extra polite to her when you turn her down for a dance.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Quote Originally Posted by James Bond View Post
    I think the dancer was justified in giving you the bird.
    No he's not. End of story. That is pointless drama that just drove him farther from spending for no other reason than a polite "I'm not interested" (as I read it)


    If I EVER get the finger in the club, I'll exclaim "How much does THAT cost?"
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    IMO, "Would you like some company" is one of the most loaded, multi-entendre questions that can be asked in a SC. So many dancers use that line as a hustle that the most jaded of us probably decline out of reflex. There's likely no intent to be snotty, the problem is that in answering "no" to this question, the customer doesn't know what type of company he is turning down.

    Besides, if a customer answers "yes" to an offer of company in just the conversational sense, but decides not to buy dances or a VIP, is said guy now obligated to tip the dancer for her time? Perhaps it is better to be passed on than to use up time hustling someone who isn't interested.
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    The finger IS over the top, but you have to understand, Gentleman X, one thing that starts to drive us OUT OF OUR MINDS is this:

    Dancer: Hey, how ya doing?
    Customer: No thanks.

    That just plain rude, no getting around it. You know, sometimes we really are just being polite and friendly. Maybe we'll try to make a sale later, and maybe not. I often try to make an initial "Hello!" approach, maybe get a little banter going, before I reapproach later on in the night.

    We ALL expect rejection at work. We really do (most of us) realize that no one is obligated to buy a dance from us. But for guys to reject before we've even offered is just . . . hostile, in a way. If you can't see that, then I don't know how else to explain it

    (I know the original question was about "Want company?", specifically, but the pattern seemed similar, and the dancer in question was probably fed up from a night of just what I described.)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    (I know the original question was about "Want company?", specifically, but the pattern seemed similar, and the dancer in question was probably fed up from a night of just what I described.)
    Oh I can see why DANCER A got upset, even if he was the most polite about it, but she went and talked to DANCER B who gave out the finger.

    Granted, all is fair in this environment, I just would have left. No justification necessary, just, I think the finger from a Dancer that was not involved just was completely out of line and would insure NO money from me that night at that club.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    The finger IS over the top, but you have to understand, Gentleman X, one thing that starts to drive us OUT OF OUR MINDS is this:

    Dancer: Hey, how ya doing?
    Customer: No thanks.

    That just plain rude, no getting around it. You know, sometimes we really are just being polite and friendly. Maybe we'll try to make a sale later, and maybe not. I often try to make an initial "Hello!" approach, maybe get a little banter going, before I reapproach later on in the night.

    We ALL expect rejection at work. We really do (most of us) realize that no one is obligated to buy a dance from us. But for guys to reject before we've even offered is just . . . hostile, in a way. If you can't see that, then I don't know how else to explain it

    (I know the original question was about "Want company?", specifically, but the pattern seemed similar, and the dancer in question was probably fed up from a night of just what I described.)

    Thank you! Or if you get that shoo-shooing hand motion.

    Some of us do go around and chit chat or try to be nice to the patrons of our club. If I ask a gent if I can sit or if he wants my company - a simple "No, thank you" will work. That I can understand, even if he says "I'm waiting for so and so" works.

    To tell me that your just there to watch or I'm not his type is rude, to also tell me "No thanks" after I've taken some of my valuable at work time to come over and be nice is simply insulting.

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    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    I can understand the custies concern. If a dancer just sits with him in a club he CAN be expected to pay for it. I have seen it happen. A girl sat with a business associate of mine. He did not want a dance from her but still sat on his knee asking him questions while we watched the stage. 3-4 minutes later she got up and asked to be paid. He said for what? She went to the bouncer and he got in his face about paying for her time even if its just conversation. I can see here why guys are sometimes concerned.

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  16. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    I was going to say exactly what Rose said. You were not a gentleman, Mr. X.

  17. #16
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    Oh I can see why DANCER A got upset, even if he was the most polite about it, but she went and talked to DANCER B who gave out the finger.

    Granted, all is fair in this environment, I just would have left. No justification necessary, just, I think the finger from a Dancer that was not involved just was completely out of line and would insure NO money from me that night at that club.
    It was probably her friend who was pissed on on her behalf. I'll be real rude to a guy from the get go if i know he's already insulted and upset a friend of mine.

    Not all dancers are catty bitches...some of us areactually friends and stick together

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    Member Sierra30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    What I hate the most is when im walking up to a group of maybe 2 or 3 guys and they all start pointing to each other and laughing, like im a complete dog or whatev....I KNOW im not and i normally just laugh it off and make some kind of comment but GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH does it PISS me off INTERNALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sierra
    "WHAT DEFINES YOU IS NOT WHAT YOU DO BUT HOW YOU GET UP AFTER YOU FALL"

  19. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    OMG, when they all start pointing at each other I seriously want to stab them all to death with the bar knife. There is NOTHING that pisses me off the way that does.

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    Featured Member lolagetz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    I seriously get that several times a night.. Me: "Hey, how are you?" Custy: "NO!"

    It's like, what's your problem? You think if you let me say more than one sentence to you, you're going to lose money? When I reply, "No, I just said, 'how are you?'" They usually grumble and say something like, "Oh, I didn't hear you. I don't want a dance." I'm sorry, but even in a loud club next to a speaker, the sounds in "how are you" are not at all similar to the sounds in "do you want a dance."

    Ugh. Hate that so much.

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    Senior Member GentlemanX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Interesting comments everyone. I promise I was polite as possible! I didn't mean to tip off the radar just by looking! Bottom line is I wasn't going to buy dances so if she sits down and I reject her then she will be even more upset. She had a spare tire, people.

    And by the way, I would never say no to you Corgan or the other girls on this thread

  22. #21
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    He did nothing wrong. These are adult women we are talking about, who work in sales. They acted like children.

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    God/dess Bob_Loblaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Sometimes it not what you say but how you say it. Inflection is hard to determine over a message board. All too often, guys think they are declining company/dances politely but their tone carries a "don't bother me, go away" feeling. A simple "No, thank you" WHILE maintaining eye contact is probably the best way to go. Looking away while talking to someone is rude behavior (not just in a strip club setting but also in "real" life).

    You did have an opportunity to diffuse the situation when she replied saying she wasn't asking for a dance. Again, it's hard to get a complete grasp of the situation on a MB but to me it appeared your responses and behavior further escalated the situation.

    That being said, getting the finger from her friend was a little over the top.

  24. #23
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    She wasn't his type and he didn't want her company. Seems to me "No, I think I'm good for now" was a polite response and is equivalent to "No, thank you".

    FBR
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    Senior Member RandomUser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    I would have had a hard time telling if she just wanted to relax next to me in a strip club. My own insecurties about the unknowns of women would tell me "no she doesn't". I'm not looking to get hurt when I go in a strip club unless.... Yah most of the guys probably don't give a rip. Experienced stripper.. inexperienced or callous customer. There is a language the customer needs to learn. Giving the finger is just a learning tool.

    But it's a business transaction. She's a poor vendor. She didn't hustle you very well for money or for talk. She'll get better. Shop someplace else if you are not getting what you want.

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    Default Re: Got the finger, you know the bird, the middle finger

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    He did nothing wrong. These are adult women we are talking about, who work in sales. They acted like children.
    Yeah, drunk, bitchy children.

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