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Thread: Does experience matter?

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i was thinking the same.. esp since the sn is lie still.



    how old are you?

    This is probably going to get me banned,
    I never really did read the rules
    anyways, I'll be 18 shortly. like, less than a few months.
    The sn was just a name, and i didnt mean it the way it looks haha
    It was meant to be poetic
    as is, lying, (not telling the truth) in freez
    =/

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Are you a goth?

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    nope, just sort of a tom boy.

    oh you mean becuase of the username

    eh =/

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t View Post
    Compared to a sophisticated and very confident 26-7 year old, a 19 year old just seems like a little kid. Even if they are physically very attractive, they just won't have that same rhythm and confidence.
    What in God's name makes you say that? There are girls who dive into serious sexual experimentation when they are 15, some who even film it at that age (don't ask), and by 19 they are well in touch with what they need to launch into intergalactic orbit. When they are paired with men who know exactly and precisely how to initiate that launch, usually with an intensity and sheet-soaking, back-scratching, hopelessly-gasping insanity that they have never, ever seen or experienced before, they lose all sense of time and place, and won't even stop shaking or shuddering or gasping for at least 40 minutes, long enough to understand that experience sure as hell counts for pretty much everything and they are impossibly eager to push that envelope and see what their bodies and explosive minds are really capable of.

    Look, from my viewpoint, this is simply a moral obligation. It's an oath we swear to teach younger women to never, ever settle for the inconsiderate, selfish, stupid bumblings of their peers who have loud mouths, short attention spans, zero experience, painful elbows, and not the slightest clue about a woman's body, to say nothing of the sexual endurance of a gnat.

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Young women get pressured into LTRs for different reasons and they miss out on a lot of opportunities for themselves, like Networking, Higher Education, Travel and Sexual Experience.
    Well said, and unfortunately all too common. You'd think this counterproductive and self-defeating phenomenon would have changed in this day and age, but it hasn't.

    It's an oath we swear to teach younger women to never, ever settle for the inconsiderate, selfish, stupid bumblings of their peers who have loud mouths, short attention spans, zero experience, painful elbows, and not the slightest clue about a woman's body, to say nothing of the sexual endurance of a gnat.
    But inevitably they do settle for those bumbling bafoons, and in large numbers, with the attendant results. So in that respect, I agree with Sh0t; generally speaking, women in their mid- to late-twenties are at a better starting point, both for themselves and their partners because they're starting to get pissed off at apologizing for their own wants and needs across a broad spectrum of their lives--a concept which really seems to solidify as they enter their thirties.
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    I like a woman who's been around enough to appreciate me.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    Young women get pressured into LTRs for different reasons and they miss out on a lot of opportunities for themselves, like Networking, Higher Education, Travel and Sexual Experience. & God forbid you get pregnant, the "book of your life" can end right there unless you're strong and can persevere (single motherhood.)
    Those aren't even the BEGINNING of the list. I still remember the chilling sincerity of high school friends who swore they were going to be with their high school sweethearts forever. Though that is technically "Hallmark Adorable", it's highly disappointed, some of these women where really bright, able to give out some of the best advice but deny themselves any personal pleasure that may hurt the relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by TOO
    Look, from my viewpoint, this is simply a moral obligation. It's an oath we swear to teach younger women to never, ever settle for the inconsiderate, selfish, stupid bumblings of their peers who have loud mouths, short attention spans, zero experience, painful elbows, and not the slightest clue about a woman's body, to say nothing of the sexual endurance of a gnat.
    That's not women only man. Taking what you said a step further, sure it's shades of gray, but the advice going into a relationship, is all to often, a complete 180 of the advice provided once in one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t
    Women often confuse players with guys who are just hedging their bets hoping for a hotter chick to come along.
    And the detection/differences among the two for woman is about as bad as defining "SS" to customers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t
    Few men have the balls to tell a beautiful girl to fuck off if he is addicted to the validation being her bf gives him, the envy of his friends, etc.
    Yea. It's amazing what people will put up with just to maintain the label. Hate it. I have tenants who are sharing the whole entire experience of "the breakup" with the neighborhood.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    What in God's name makes you say that?
    Experience.

    It is a generality, but it is overwhelmingly true. It doesn't matter how freaky you were at 15, it's about more than sexual experience.

    Look, from my viewpoint, this is simply a moral obligation. It's an oath we swear to teach younger women to never, ever settle for the inconsiderate, selfish, stupid bumblings of their peers who have loud mouths, short attention spans, zero experience, painful elbows, and not the slightest clue about a woman's body, to say nothing of the sexual endurance of a gnat.
    Whoa dude. That's waaaay too much commitment for my taste.


    You sound like you see yourself as some kind of gatekeeper of sexual paradise for younger, borderline-experienced women. That's cool. I don't see myself that way. Sex really isn't all that complicated requiring oaths and rocketry. I think the lighter you treat it, the better it can be. Most guys make far too big a deal out of it.

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    ^ My point was not to "rank" them above or below women with more experience. I agree that in most cases, there is no substitute for experience because it involves the evolution of the entire body, mind and soul. I always dated older women when I was growing up, and even now prefer a woman with very serious experience (Nic - duh).

    What I was trying to do in my post was prevent the younger girls from being completely dismissed solely on the basis of age. You would be more than surprised by what's out there.

    If you've read me long enough on this site, you'll see that I don't consider myself a gatekeeper of any kind -- more an enthusiastic proponent for sexual experimentation; somebody who always looks to push the envelope. I've also found myself correcting enough of the female physiology postings on here that Nic is convinced I was a gynecologist in a previous life. Actually, she's convinced of that in general.

  10. #35
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Look, from my viewpoint, this is simply a moral obligation. It's an oath we swear to teach younger women to never, ever settle for the inconsiderate, selfish, stupid bumblings of their peers who have loud mouths, short attention spans, zero experience, painful elbows, and not the slightest clue about a woman's body, to say nothing of the sexual endurance of a gnat.
    The obligation of adult men to fuck teenagers? TOO - just, ew. Seriously - can we please not have a bunch guys who are in/approaching middle age talking about how much better they are as sexual partners for teenaged girls than... you know, guys their own age? Because that is just full out repulsive, and in my opinion, pretty fucking inappropriate. In any case - the OP has been banned for being underage. She is welcome back when she is of the appropriate age.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    The obligation of adult men to fuck teenagers? TOO - just, ew. Seriously - can we please not have a bunch guys who are in/approaching middle age talking about how much better they are as sexual partners for teenaged girls than... you know, guys their own age? Because that is just full out repulsive, and in my opinion, pretty fucking inappropriate. In any case - the OP has been banned for being underage. She is welcome back when she is of the appropriate age.
    Do you think it is full out repulsive for women in/approaching middle age to have sex with (borderline) teenage boys? I'm talking 19 - 22 here, not 16. If you are repulsed by that, I can assure you that I never was.

    An important point in my post was to argue against dismissing all the younger women (19 -22 or so, which is what Sh0t was doing) strictly on the basis of age. Not all 19 - 22 year-olds are created equal. I certainly agree with you that there are many cases where it would be inappropriate for countless reasons -- maturity, experience, station in life. There are exceptions to those, though, and I've seen them. I wanted to point that out, and make an argument for why an older lover of either sex brings more learning and experience to the encounter. It certainly worked for me when I was the younger person in the pair.

    There are others who do not share your "all out repulsive" position. I know of three successful relationships between older college professors and their students that led to marriage and children. In two, the male was older and in one, the female was older. The professors roughly fell into your age demographic.

    Of course my post was not directed at the OP -- she should not have been in the forum or posting at all.

    And as I said in my second post above, I've always preferred a woman of exceptional talent and experience, much of which comes with age.

    Finally, I am intrigued by the anger and disgust in your voice. What is the dynamic behind this? You are not alone -- it's been in the culture for some time. When Jerry Seinfeld began dating an 18-year-old college student when he was pushing 40, there was this visceral outcry from women who practically accused him of child abuse. It's the anger part that intrigues me. You rarely see anything even remotely approaching that kind of anger among men when younger men and boys are dating older women.

  12. #37
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    I would suggest that the reason you don't see the same vitriol is simply because it is a strange novelty. But yes - I find the concept of all adults sleeping with borderline children kind of repulsive. And I've seen lots of relationships between professors and students too. And they mostly didn't lead to marriage and children. While certainly there are exceptions, because there are exceptions to everything... well there is a reason that they are called "exceptions".

    In addition I find the "I'm the gatekeeper to the sexual pleasure for young women" a little citytv baby blue for my taste. Teenaged girls should learn and experiment with their sexuality with teenaged boys (assuming that they are heterosexual teenaged girls, of course) not middle aged men. There is a reason that version is a peppy romantic comedy and your version is a porno. So I'm going to just reiterate that their peers, with their short attention spans, bumblings and low experience are the appropriate partners for young girls, and not middle aged men who are just looking for a piece of something fresh.

    Do I need to say that I'm not making this an issue just to pick on you? I'm really not. But the idea that there is some moral imperative in pairing up teenaged girls with middle aged men sort of turns my stomach.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    The older women get mad because they don't want to have to compete for younger women for successful older males.

    Nineteen year olds look pretty ok, but high school kids I do not find sexually attractive. So they are out. Additionally, I like night life, so a 19 or 20 year old cannot come with me into night clubs and bars here in the US, unfortunately. So that's another strike against them.

    Where do you go to meet all these young girls? Targeting the youngest looking dancers at a strip club? Crashing frat parties? Online dating?

    THe way I see it, an older guy pursuing a young gal is not really sharing experience,but is taking advantage of his superior experience over her. I'm not even over 30 yet, but I've learned enough about women that a 18 year old is going to be SOOO predictable and so easy to manipulate, it would be a pointless seduction, if I didn't like her for some reason(which is unlikely because she's going to be still so "unfinished").

    I don't think this necessarily applies to you TOO, but an older guy has a big advantage over young girls just in terms of socialization and , dare I say it, manipulation and what not. You know all the buttons to press and she probably hasn't seen most of them before.

    I know a LOT of older guys who do exactly this, prey on younger girls precisely because of their naivety . I don't claim to be a paladin of dating, but it's not something my principles will allow me to do.

    I'm all for sexual experimentation and all that, the same way I love peeling out at red lights, but at those ages, the girls are just learning what a cock is. Tantric sex and figging and all that comes a bit later on, IMO.

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    I was a lame 19 year old at sex. My boyfriend was 24. He was also lame at sex. I learned nothing from him except that I enjoyed masterbating to porn. Oh, and apparently my clit was too hard to find. I was also inexperienced at that time. Yup, Kat the late bloomer.

    Finally, at 20, I started to learn and enjoy it with a boy closer to my age. Funny how 20 and 22 are much closer than 19 and 24-25ish. That's just my story.

    Yes, I also get grossed out at much older guys with a young girl fetish. But that's due to my experience stripping and encountering a great deal of sick men. I wouldn't want to compete for a man who seriously pursues much younger women. I am successful in my own right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I would suggest that the reason you don't see the same vitriol is simply because it is a strange novelty.
    What is a strange novelty? Older men, younger women or older women, younger men? Even if both were a novelty, or neither, it doesn't explain why women across a broad spectrum are vitriolic about the former -- and I mean really angry -- while men are not angered by either.

    The Jerry Seinfeld example I used where a 40-year-old male dates an 18-year-old female seems to be some kind of sensitive cultural touchstone. I still have no explanation for why women are so angered by it. Nicolina has explained it as an evolutionary, biological issue having to do with competition, where younger women are always more of a competitive threat to older women because they represent a more robust and reliable option for the survival of any resulting children, and the ability to have relatively more. So they are more attractive to all men, thinning out the available pool.

    I don't know why men are not threatened by either option. Probably because there is no time limit on their fertility. Or they are collectively far more self-delusional.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    But yes - I find the concept of all adults sleeping with borderline children kind of repulsive.
    By my 18 - 22 definition, these "borderline children" are the ones who fight our wars, man our missile silos and stay up all night watching the screens at NORAD. I know, I was one of them. I personally think it is both inaccurate and condescending to characterize these people in a way that emphases what they once were, not what they are today. Or to fail to appreciate how radically they've changed. Once again, my argument has been that only some members of this age group have the sexual, emotional and intellectual experience and sophistication to not only develop in a relationship with an older partner, but to thrive in one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    And I've seen lots of relationships between professors and students too. And they mostly didn't lead to marriage and children. While certainly there are exceptions, because there are exceptions to everything... well there is a reason that they are called "exceptions".
    You were so confident in that statement, I was waiting for you to cite a study or something authoritative. I think they are much more common than you do, judging from what I see at university social events. A better question might be this: How many college relationships at all, even those between peers, survive 10 years?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    In addition I find the "I'm the gatekeeper to the sexual pleasure for young women" a little citytv baby blue for my taste.
    The "gatekeeper" was Sh0t's term. I'm not sure where he got it, but it bears no resemblance to anything I said in my original post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Teenaged girls should learn and experiment with their sexuality with teenaged boys (assuming that they are heterosexual teenaged girls, of course) not middle aged men.
    Hmmm, the men seem to be getting a little bit older in each of your posts. Do you find the notion of teenaged boys learning and experimenting with older or middle-age women to be equally repulsive? I never got an answer to that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    There is a reason that version is a peppy romantic comedy and your version is a porno.
    No, actually my version is a May-December romance. Look, I've been there in the other role, and exceedingly happy to have been there, so don't cry any tears on my behalf.

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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Experience does not equal talent. Plenty of people have been having sex their whole lives and have never mastered it.
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Well, as a 40 year old, if I'd dated an 18 year old, she would've been in the age group of my kids. So while she could've been punching a button to start nuclear war or passing secrets out of Iran.... well, she would've been in the age group of my kids. So while she's an adult ... well, she's the age of my kids. That's why it'd be borderline creepy to me. I'm sure there's a sociobiological imperative for feeling that way.

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    ^ What I'm most sensitive to is a girl young enough to trigger my paternal instincts above all others. That happens to me enough to appreciate your point. But I yield to Nicolina on the biological imperatives.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    What is a strange novelty? Older men, younger women or older women, younger men? Even if both were a novelty, or neither, it doesn't explain why women across a broad spectrum are vitriolic about the former -- and I mean really angry -- while men are not angered by either.

    The Jerry Seinfeld example I used where a 40-year-old male dates an 18-year-old female seems to be some kind of sensitive cultural touchstone. I still have no explanation for why women are so angered by it. Nicolina has explained it as an evolutionary, biological issue having to do with competition, where younger women are always more of a competitive threat to older women because they represent a more robust and reliable option for the survival of any resulting children, and the ability to have relatively more. So they are more attractive to all men, thinning out the available pool.

    I don't know why men are not threatened by either option. Probably because there is no time limit on their fertility. Or they are collectively far more self-delusional.
    I did kind of realize that you were getting at an "older women feel threatened and competitive with younger women" thing. I opted to ignore it the first time, because, honestly, it seems a little low to meet me with a comment that seems kind of akin to "You just think that because you're threatened". I think sensible women of all ages find it a little gross, and the only women who "thrive" in such relationships are those looking for daddy's approval. This is something I would have found pretty icky even as a very young woman.

    I was saying that older women with much younger men is a such a novelty that it might not raise the vitriol you speak of; whereas as you get quite a lot of old guys thinking somehow they their sagging bodies are an appropriate match for firm 19 year flesh.

    By my 18 - 22 definition, these "borderline children" are the ones who fight our wars, man our missile silos and stay up all night watching the screens at NORAD. I know, I was one of them. I personally think it is both inaccurate and condescending to characterize these people in a way that emphases what they once were, not what they are today.
    Okay... well, we all get older every day. It doesn't change the fact that 19 is very young, and quite immature. The fact that the next day they are 19 and one day more hardly changes that. And the fact that they are given some brand of responsibility (albeit pretty tightly supervised and controlled) doesn't mean that they are socially mature.

    Or to fail to appreciate how radically they've changed. Once again, my argument has been that only some members of this age group have the sexual, emotional and intellectual experience and sophistication to not only develop in a relationship with an older partner, but to thrive in one.
    Yeah. The one's with daddy issues. I agree.

    You were so confident in that statement, I was waiting for you to cite a study or something authoritative. I think they are much more common than you do, judging from what I see at university social events. A better question might be this: How many college relationships at all, even those between peers, survive 10 years?
    Okay - there is a reason that relationships between faculty and students are frowned upon in most schools. At we're just at an impasse of experience here. In my experience what mostly happens is two years later the professor is trying to sleep with another student. And yes, most relationships end - I don't get what that has to do with anything.
    The "gatekeeper" was Sh0t's term. I'm not sure where he got it, but it bears no resemblance to anything I said in my original post.
    I think it was the notion that you had to single handedly save young women from the horror of having sex with young men and help train them up, or something. And if you look at your post - I think you can clearly see where a reader might see that.
    Hmmm, the men seem to be getting a little bit older in each of your posts. Do you find the notion of teenaged boys learning and experimenting with older or middle-age women to be equally repulsive? I never got an answer to that.
    The men are staying at "middle aged". And yes you did. When I said "all adults". Yes, I do. Let's take sex out of it, for a second. Do you think it would be normal for the social milieu of a middle aged person be college undergrads? Or, better yet, high school students? Or would you think "What can you possibly have in common?"
    No, actually my version is a May-December romance.
    I think May-December romances are kind of squicky too. And I think there is a reason that they generally happen when the December party has a lot of money.
    Look, I've been there in the other role, and exceedingly happy to have been there, so don't cry any tears on my behalf.
    Oh for crying out loud. Every 16 year old girl in the world has dated a guy in his 30s and thought that it was different, and she was really mature for her age and he really appreciated her, etc., etc. And then when she turns 18 she generally looks back and thinks "Ew. What was I thinking with that?" I don't cry tears over them either. I just still don't think it's normal. Look - I don't want to argue with you about this, because, honestly, the more you post about it, the more you squick me out. We can probably just now leave it at "we've both made our feelings known".
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Im tending to agree with you Jenny. Even as a young 18 yo myself I found the thought of sleeping with much older men quite repulsive. One experience sticks out in my mind, that of being at the nail salon one day and a young woman with a baby (early 20's) just finished having her nails done and her husband (easily in his late 50's) came to pick her up. As they were putting the baby into the pram outside the salon the girls who worked at the salon (all in their early 20's) and myself (about 19 at the time) were basically saying ewwwwww and talking about how gross it was and wondering what she was doing with him.

    Now at 19 (and 20 for the other girls) I don't think anyone could argue that I felt threatened by this relationship. So I dont think the notion of older women being threatened of the competition really explains our reaction.

    I think it's more of an issue of people being disgusted by older, more worldly men taking advantage of younger more vulnerable and impressionable women.

    That's why the college professor sleeping with a student is considered wrong - because he is in a position of trust and influence over the student and therefore they are not equal in entering the relationship.

    From when I was 20 I was in a serious relationship with a man 11 years older than me. We were very in love and I dont regret the relationship for a minute but he definately held influence over me and was also very controlling of me.
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    ^^
    Well, yes, there was also the sort of implicit assumption that because a relationship ends in marriage and children that it is a good, equal, functional and loving relationship. Of course we are all familiar with the kinds of marriages that are not like that. One of my best friends married a 35 year old man when she was 18. The fact that they got married didn't, in and of itself, suddenly make the relationship all functional and great.

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    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    IMO, every guy wants to leave a wet spot on your bed...A lot of the dudes who brag about how they would only take the "best looking" chicks to bed will pound anything that stands still long enough.
    Double M:

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    "Any guy can bang a fine chick--but it takes a real man to screw a boogawoof!"
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Budai View Post
    I have a good friend that would agree with you. When we were younger, his motto was:

    "Any guy can bang a fine chick--but it takes a real man to screw a boogawoof!"
    -- Nick S.



    I'm all for democratic lovin'...

  24. #49
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    We can probably just now leave it at "we've both made our feelings known".
    We sure did!

    I'm still amused that I posted twice that I personally prefer emotionally-mature women with experience in the expectation that somebody would actually read it.

    But I stand by my defense of certain young women as being worthy of consideration, and not outright dismissal.

  25. #50
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Does experience matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    But I stand by my defense of certain young women as being worthy of consideration, and not outright dismissal.
    *Assumes kings advisor position at TOO's ear and whispers* - Arguing with a "strippa-crite" is like sticking your hoo hoo dilly in a blender....at first a wild ride then painful, bloody, and messy .

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