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Thread: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

  1. #26
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    OMG, somewhat off-topic, but I had to share this... I was a P.A. on my first show in L.A. and we had this little six-year-old boy who was one of the stars of the movie. I repeat, he was SIX. The other P.A. and I were just in love with this kid because he was the most adorable thing we'd ever seen, so we used to hang out with him all the time and play Bubblegum and stuff like that. And this one day he starts telling us all about the little man in the boat, and how you have to find him and keep him very happy, but he's very hard to find because he hides in the prow of the boat, etc. We two women were just staring with our mouths open in shock. I still want to know who was teaching him that.

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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Have you ever had your belly button licked? From the inside?

    I swear if I hear this again I will scream.

  3. #28
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    I have never heard of the 'little man in the boat' before. The things I learn on SW

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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Can I see you cum?
    Lickety split!

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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    OMG, somewhat off-topic, but I had to share this... I was a P.A. on my first show in L.A. and we had this little six-year-old boy who was one of the stars of the movie. I repeat, he was SIX. The other P.A. and I were just in love with this kid because he was the most adorable thing we'd ever seen, so we used to hang out with him all the time and play Bubblegum and stuff like that. And this one day he starts telling us all about the little man in the boat, and how you have to find him and keep him very happy, but he's very hard to find because he hides in the prow of the boat, etc. We two women were just staring with our mouths open in shock. I still want to know who was teaching him that.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


    *runs away screaming due to idiotic corruption of youth*
    Drought was over. Where was I? Drinks were on the house.
    For mixers, my love, you'd poured--what?--even the rain.

  6. #31
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    I think the stupidest thing by far is the classic, "oh baby, I luuuuuv eatin pussy! I can eat pussy for HOURS!!"


    Uh, news flash: If you have the foggiest idea WTF you're doing down there, it should NOT take even one hour

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  7. #32
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)


  8. #33
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    "Lick your tonsils from the wrong side." So sexy.



  9. #34
    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    "Lick your tonsils from the wrong side." So sexy.
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

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    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
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  10. #35
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Its weird when guys say they'd eat my pussy 'for hours'. why wud i want that? haha. id get bored after a while. especailly when an old man is sayin this, really makes me think "EW".

    Sxybrat - haha, i had a man say almost the same thing to me. he said he wanted to lick my nipple "dead" EW! haha

    " I was going to order some chicken, but now i rather eat your pussy!" (wow, thanks)
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  11. #36
    Featured Member lolagetz's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    "I wanna lick your front butt"
    Oh my god.. that's horrible!

    I agree about the "for hours" thing. Why would I want you to do it for hours? I'm a busy girl, I don't have time for that shit. Also, all the guys who make me this generous offer are grrooossssss. Ick. Oh, and the "licking the jar" comment.. holy shit.. Why...?

  12. #37
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    "I wanna lick your front butt"
    True conversation with my 6-year-old daughter in the bathroom during a delicate time after she's used the toilet:

    Daughter: (Looking down her front and pulling slight at it) "Daddy, can you look at my butt?"

    Daddy: "Sweetheart, that's not your butt."

    Daughter: "What is it then?"

    Daddy:

    Daughter: "What is it then?" (Six-year-olds are big on repetition)

    Daddy: "Well, you remember how we told you that it is a private area for you, remember?"

    Daughter: (Still looking down) "What's it called?"

    Daddy:

    Daughter: "Can I call it my front butt?"

    Daddy: "Sweetheart, you are the daughter of a linguist. You can call it anything your beautiful heart desires."

    For a long time we just called it her "wee-wee," for toilet time, but something about the way she was asking me this time indicated she was asking for a different reason. So for the time being, "front butt" it is, until the next conversation. Gotta take these things in stages.

  13. #38
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Front Butt just cracked me up! On the phone with my girlfriend she is laughing almost as hard as me haha

    -E
    hilarious signature

  14. #39
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Great story, TOO. But why not just tell her what it's called?

    My mom's a nurse. When I was about five she took me to the pediatrician for a urinary tract infection or something like that, I don't remember exactly. He told me he needed to see my "pee-pee." I glared at him in confusion and said, "Huh? You mean my vulva?"

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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Great story, TOO. But why not just tell her what it's called?

    My mom's a nurse. When I was about five she took me to the pediatrician for a urinary tract infection or something like that, I don't remember exactly. He told me he needed to see my "pee-pee." I glared at him in confusion and said, "Huh? You mean my vulva?"
    Some children, being the innocent creatures that they are speak their mind and loudly. It's rather embaressing to have your child in the grocery, market, wal-mart screaming in glee about their "vulva" or "penis"

    My daugter when she was small had to inform me in a loud childish voice that the lady in front of us at the grocery store was having an issue with her dress as she put it.. " Mommy? That ladies butt is eating her dress. You should tell her."

  16. #41
    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow2 View Post
    " Mommy? That ladies butt is eating her dress. You should tell her."
    Your daughter is my new hero.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

  17. #42
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    I agree with Yekhefah - why not just teach them the word? There's some debate over whether vagina, vulva, or labia is more accurate for children (I'm torn between labia and vulva), but I do think honesty is the best policy. Why do we have to choose between making it a great mystery OR using some cutesy-poo nickname?

    I know what you're saying about the brutal openness of children, Crow, but that's going to happen no matter what. I personally don't see how a kid yelling "Mom! Look at my wee-wee!" would be any LESS embarrassing than "Mom! Look at my penis!"

    But continuing with this thread drift, I read a true anecdote the other day that I've been dying to share, but had no context for it yet. I think the time has come: Young daughter bursts in on dad in the bathroom, stares for a moment with wide eyes, and exclaims, "Daddy! What happened to your vagina?!?"

    And Freud rolled over in his grave. (Put that in your just-a-cigar and smoke it, Sigmund!)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  18. #43
    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    ^ Oh, she'll learn the word soon enough; it's a matter of timing. I'm a huge believer in minimizing unnecessary mysteries; parents whispering anything makes it of immediate and pressing interest to any child.

    My beautiful daughter, though, is this vociferous vocal volcano (continuing the alliteration tradition). This girl never, ever stops talking. Never.

    And you would not believe what comes out of her mouth (in three different languages). She's a bit of a verbal weapon in mixed company, which often includes much younger children. So I'm watching her ability to restrain herself as an indicator of the right time. I'm not worried at all about what she knows; I am concerned when she's the neighborhood children's version of HBO.

  19. #44
    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Young daughter bursts in on dad in the bathroom, stares for a moment with wide eyes, and exclaims, "Daddy! What happened to your vagina?!?"

    And Freud rolled over in his grave. (Put that in your just-a-cigar and smoke it, Sigmund!)
    You rock.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

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