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Thread: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

  1. #1
    Picaresque
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    Default I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Seriously....give me all the reasons you can think of, why I shouldn't start taking E at work again.

    I just left a club where getting it was as easy as dancers walking up to me in the DR and offering me some. (That wasn't WHY i left; I left there b/c the club went way downhill and is now all ghetto custies and no money. But I figured, side bonus--if I'm not there, than I won't keep taking E b/c it's always there for the taking.)

    But now I want some. But yet I don't. If you know what I mean; if that makes any sense. The only good reason I can think of right now to not do it, is that my money and my hustle went to SHIT after I stopped. It was like once I decided to stop taking it, I forgot about the 2+ years that I successfully hustled and made a lot of $ while clean and sober...now it feels like I can't hustle sober. I'm suddenly hyper-aware of myself at work, tense, I always feel awkward and amateurish, am absolutely reeking of social anxiety, and have no clue what to say or how to approach anyone; my confidence as a dancer is shot.

    That was the other reason I went to a new club. New scenery, new custies, new start and I can start over hustling sober and get my magic back.

    But now I'm starting to rationalize why I should start rolling at work again: management doesn't really care...one last hurrah won't hurt...it'll help me ease into the new club...I can easily go back to my old club and get some...I've taken it a bunch of times and never had anything bad happen...I always made amazing money while high...I need *something* to get me out of this newfound awkward funk at work...and the strongest rationalizer of all: it feels amazing.

    Like I said I don't really want to start that up again...but I do. Convince me not to?
    Please? And if you have any ideas for more constructive ways to get around this new socially anxious wallflower "now that I'm sober at work again I've lost my hustle, custies can see right through me, I have no idea what to say and can't even approach people unless they're obviously drooling on themselves over me" thing...I'm all ears.
    Last edited by Picaresque; 10-05-2007 at 09:53 PM.

  2. #2
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Because E sucks out your brain's happy juices (Seratonin) and makes you depressed! You might have more money initially, but eventually you won't even be able to get out of bed and head to work. You will become a shell of a person after a few months, and the damage can take years to repair.

    A couple of times a year, no big deal. Regular basis=I've seen multiple people become irreparably damaged.

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  3. #3
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    You could literally dance yourself to death -

    Don't do it. Make lots of money instead and get yourself something fabulous.

    If you roll, what are you going to have to show for it - besides Cotton mouth and people telling you what you did?

    Do you really, really want that as a crutch? I mean c'mon, you can do things by yourself. That much is obvious, don't fall into the glitter trap again. Once you start it will be a down-ward spiral and you just wont be you anymore.

    We want to have fun, be pretty and have lots of stuff!
    E is not a help nor is it to be used as a crutch at work.
    Your so much better than that..

    Besides E dehydrates you, do you have any idea what that does your skin? Gross.
    Not to mention your brain and your insides. Keep your young body pretty and healthy.

    Do what you want for playtime, but keep up your stripper standards and be a beautiful professional. Okay?
    Okay!

    Geezus, I sound like somebodies Mom.. sorry for that


    xoxoxox

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    I slept with a guy who looked and sounded like Eyore from "Winnie The Pooh" as a result of years of E abuse. NO seratonin, no emotional intonation in his voice, no smiles. He couldn't really express himself....It is sad. I don't know if he'll ever be like he was before the drugs.

    Not worth it.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Wow I wouldn't want to roll at work! It would be too easy to get in trouble and forget about making money in the first place. If you are going to roll there are many other places that would be more suitable than while you are supposed to be making money.
    Besides, isn't it fun to be bitchy to asshole customers sometimes? heehee.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    If you're gonna do it at all save it for your off time. I think its so dangerous to your safety to do drugs at work. I'm sure its not too hard for a girl to pass out in the dark corner of the VIP room and get raped. Not the kind of situation you want to put yourself in.

    Focus on new ways to hustle without. Once you see you don't need it; it will be hard to go back and use.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  7. #7
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    poor darlin.
    Ditto what everyone else has said, but the best reason to stop is because you will have to one day so it might as well be today. That way every cent you do make goes to you instead of drugs!

    Also I think the social anxiety is probably very directly related to the fact that you have recently stopped using drugs, so again if you have one last go at it then you will have to feel this shit again before you feel better.

    Argh I cant express myself clearly today. Good on ya for recognizing where you are at. If you find yourself really struggling you might wanna read up on cycles of drug addiction. I know everyone says E isn't addictive, but I think anything you do regularly is addictive. Good luck
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    miss marina
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    If you're gonna roll, please have a friend at work(one that you know u can trust FORSURE) kinda look out for you that night and make sure you get home alright also. You'll be happier if you dont even start doing it again


    I mean, do you want to keep repeating history? Let it go. Its in your past, You have moved on now

  9. #9
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    wow, i dunno how you can work on an E. i tried once and i ended up sitting on my ass on the floor in the dressing room laughing cos i couldn't even stand up.

    you shouldn't roll because there's way better drugs to work on than E.

    ....

    JOKING

    don't do it, because the more you do it, the harder it's gonna be to get your hustle back without it. i used to be a kick ass hustler, then i started using meth all the time at work because not only did it make me more outgoing and confident and energetic, it made me feel better cos it made me skinny. so i made lots of money, but then, just like you, when i decided not to use it anymore after probably about a year of abuse, my sober hustle had curled up and died. two years on, and i'm still trying to get it back. i fucked up my hustle so bad that the only time i can actually get out there and work hard is when i either take meth, or pop some Ritalin or Adderal. my hustle and 'at work confidence' is pretty much dependant on some form of amphetamine, and since i don't do it often, i don't really earn very much money.

    so yeah, don't end up like me. that should be reason enough to not do it.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    well, the last time i saw you you were rolling & said you felt sick & wished you hadnt taken it. that should be reason enough. please dont!

  11. #11
    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    think of it like this: what is the base?

    let's say it's heroin.

    would you shoot up right here and now? then why roll? still putting it into your body one way or the other.

    in case you would say yes to the heroin question, then hey, scratch what i said

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    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    first of all, there is never heroin in E. Never never. Period. Second, E is a magical experiance WHEN USED SPARINGLY AND PROPERLY! Using any substance on a daily basis will build a tolerance and kill the effects, not to mention your brain. Why would you ever want to work on E? If you are going to do it, do it at home with cool friends and music, the experiance is so much better.

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    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    I used to have this little gem crystal pendant that I wore on my belly chain, (back when belly chains were all the rage for a minute). I don't know what it was about it, it wasn't expensive or anything but so much prettier than most authentic jewels. Reflected the light, kinda looked like one of those magic crystals or something. So when I worked, I HAD to wear it. It gave me mystique or magic.....Well, one day, my chain broke, I didn't realize it, and I lost my gemstone thing. I didn't freak out or anything like that, but I was kind of sad about losing it. But what can you do ya know? So I carried on, and pretty much forgot about it after a while. And it's all good.....
    Moral of this Aesop's Fable like story (it's true though) is that the object is just an object. It only has as much power or "magic" as you give it or direct to it. But you don't need it to be magical.
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    There's some great advice here already, so all I can think of to add is that if you started this thread you already know you shouldn't do it.

    I agree with Kat, that once in a while it's fine, like many mind-altering substances used in moderation. Such as a little wine now and then, or a tiny bong hit.

    The heavy hallucinogens and E type drugs you really have to use sparingly though, like once or twice a year, and only under optimal circumstances (as Scorpio advises).

    Don't forget, too, that you are in a business that demands more emotionally from a woman than almost any other--maybe working in an ER might be one that is tougher, but not many are. That's why you and others like you feel compelled to give yourself a little boost.

    Sure you can take breaks and relax at the bar (unlike the fucking DJ if he's worth a shit, lol--shut up Djoser). But then you have to go out and pretend you like rude insulting men all over again, if you want to make any money, and keep their nasty slimy fingers and tongues out of your various orifices, etc. You also have to go on a stage repeatedly all night, which by itself is something very few people have th nerve to do as well.

    That's a tall order for a woman, and the reason the vast majority of women can't cut it, especially not longer than a few months.

    I think you should work on your inner base confidence, find alternate, natural means of making yourself relaxed and fresh at work so you don't need chemical assistance, etc. Meditation, self-hypnosis, fulfilling hobbies, a ggood work-out routine, there's many ways to boost your performance besides alcohol and drugs.

    Hanging around the right people will help, too. Though in some clubs like my last one that can be a tall order as well, haha! But you are in Philly, right? There are several very, very cool people there from this site, at least--and I'll bet if you hang with them they will help you just by association.

    And now I have gone and exceeded all the other excellent replies in length. "All I can add...", my ass.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Quote Originally Posted by scorpio View Post
    first of all, there is never heroin in E. Never never. Period. Second, E is a magical experiance WHEN USED SPARINGLY AND PROPERLY! Using any substance on a daily basis will build a tolerance and kill the effects, not to mention your brain. Why would you ever want to work on E? If you are going to do it, do it at home with cool friends and music, the experiance is so much better.
    I don't know much about drugs, and have never rolled but I thought there was heroin based and speed based, kinda thing? No?

  16. #16
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Here's a reason for you: Because some time something unexpected will happen (family member shows up to the club, a friend collapses because of choking on an olive, someone lights candles on a birthday cake) and you won't be in a condition to handle it.
    ED E’ SUBITO SERA

    Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
    trafitto da un raggio di sole:
    ed è subito sera

    --Salvatore Quasimodo--

    =============================

  17. #17
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Quote Originally Posted by PookaShell View Post
    I don't know much about drugs, and have never rolled but I thought there was heroin based and speed based, kinda thing? No?

    It's been my understanding that E stands for Extacy, which is a synthetic form of MDA developed maybe 15-20 years ago.

    What they called 'beans' in Daytona supposedly had other ingredients added, notably heroin--but I'm inclined to believe Scorpio when he says this is impossible. Maybe they were cut with Oxycotyn (or however the hell you spell it), which has an effect quite close to heroin or other opiates.

    God knows what my friends were taking who took it way too much. I tried to take it only once in a while, and to avoid nastier concoctions. The last time I took it, I yielded to the well-intended entreaties of a very good friend when I was already drunk, and did it against my prior resolve not to that night, something I still regret to this day. But I have only my own drunken ass to blame for that.


    Maximvsv, you have a good point, but if that were the case no one should ever be allowed to drink at work, either. If I choke on an olive, I don't want some whacked out drunk bouncer to try a Heimlich on me and break my fucking back, lol!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    I'm suddenly hyper-aware of myself at work, tense, I always feel awkward and amateurish, am absolutely reeking of social anxiety, and have no clue what to say or how to approach anyone; my confidence as a dancer is shot.
    This sounds a lot like a lack of seretonin, which in itself is a reason not do do E: all of the above symptoms will get worse. I don't know much about this kind of thing, but maybe a 5HTP supplement would help?



  19. #19
    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    E is not for the pretty. It ages you quicker. It damages your insides. It makes you more likely to get chemically depressed.

    It's not worth it.

    You can always PRETEND you're rolling if you think that it helps you make money.

  20. #20
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    it's hard to learn to hustle off of E if you get used to it.

    hard, but not impossible.

    and once you learn, you can expect your $$ to increase greatly!!!

  21. #21
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    It's true.

    Attachment 14609

    So don't do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  22. #22
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    A strip club full of drunk horny guys is NOT the place you want to lose control.

    If you are addicted...you'd be better off not doing it at ALL...but if you MUST do "one mre time"...do it at home where nobody can rob and rape you.

    It may never have happened before when you were high at work...but this is a new club with new custies and new staff...you dont know what will happen or if anyone will be looking out for you.

    Why take that kind of risk with your safety? For a little more money? It isnt worth it.

    You'll find your sober hustle again. But you have to HUSTLE SOBER to find it....

  23. #23
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Thanks everyone. *massive hugs for all of you*

    Yeah...I really don't want to take it again and then have to start all over again getting my hustle back and feeling shitty and wallflowery at work. It's frustrating enough now to be making 1/4 of what I'm used to.

  24. #24
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    maybe a 5HTP supplement would help?
    I've never heard of that. What is it? How does it work? Where/how do you get it? And...is it expensive?

  25. #25
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    Default Re: I need reasons to *not* start rolling again

    At a health food store. It all natural and helps with depression and loss of seritonin. Vitamin store, Henrys, Whole Foods etc.
    Its great and works best in high doses. I take some after a hard night of partying. Gets me over those "suicide Tuesdays".
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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