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Thread: comments about my dad

  1. #1
    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default comments about my dad

    This has happened on more than one occasion and it pisses me off to no end. I'm talking with some guy and the topic of family comes up. I say that I'm very close with my family and they know what I do for a living (all true). Immediately the guy starts giving me hell, like, "well, they can't be so great if they let you do this. if your father were such a good dad he'd drag you outta here kicking and screaming." For me, this is the biggest insult I could ever get. Say what you want about me, but leave my family out of it. I had a great upbringing and my parents are the best a girl could ask for. I know they'd prefer me to be a doctor or lawyer or something, but they love me unconditionally. Besides, I'm a grown woman and make my own decisions. I get so mad I could really hurt the guy.

    Does anyone else get this? What do you say? I know that I could just lie and say they don't know, and sometimes I do that, but I'd really prefer to be honest. I don't like to perpetuate any stereotypes about strippers from bad homes, so I'd rather tell it like it is.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Guys in my club LOVE to analyze me. They think that they're armchair psychologists or something. They think that they know everything about me. They make the most dumb-ass assumptions about my childhood, about my education, etc. Yes, honey, I'm a recovering drug addict that was abandoned by her father and is now raising 2 toddlers by three different dads....
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  3. #3
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    i think we all get that. i once had a guy go on and on about how it would kill my father if he knew i was there. this was right when i first started, so i didnt think to ask him how his wife would feel. or his own daughter. i hate when guys start acting this way so i just get rude. i tell them how rude i think they are and that what theyre saying is pretty offensive.

  4. #4
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Yep. I ask the guys if their wife or daughter knows they are in a strip club. Or if their mom knows. I've gone so far as to grab a guys phone and pretend to be looking through his phone book saying "lets call you mom and tell her what you are up to tonight...I mean...since you value honesty between parents and children so much....I'll help you make the first step"

    They usually grab the phone and STFU real quick.

    This is along the same lines of "if I was your bf I'd NEVER let you dance"

    Uh huh....thats why I'm SOOO glad your oppressive closed minded ass doesnt have any say in what I do.

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    I haven't had a customer do that yet...I'm sorry someone was so tactless and thoughtless towards you and yours.

    My answer for that is that my father worked hard for everything he has in this life and he's proud I was willing to do the same. I am also a grown-up now & he understands I have my own life.

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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Many of the men that come in just have low self esteem and try to make themselves feel better by comparing themselves to strippers even if they have to make up our lowly street life backgrounds.

    I don't really understand it, but I try not to dwell on it. Almost every guy will think he is better than you whether he is or not.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    I like your tactic Cameron. The nerve of some guys really amazes me. Most comments usually roll off my back, but insulting someone's family is just plain wrong.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yep. I ask the guys if their wife or daughter knows they are in a strip club. Or if their mom knows. I've gone so far as to grab a guys phone and pretend to be looking through his phone book saying "lets call you mom and tell her what you are up to tonight...I mean...since you value honesty between parents and children so much....I'll help you make the first step"

    They usually grab the phone and STFU real quick.

    This is along the same lines of "if I was your bf I'd NEVER let you dance"

    Uh huh....thats why I'm SOOO glad your oppressive closed minded ass doesnt have any say in what I do.
    Yep. Totally. I love it.

    Next time I get this crap again (especially if the guy isnt' spending) I'm going to let him know that it is terribly insulting to say such things to a dancer and it is easy now to see why he needs to pay for a woman's attention.

    That should shut him up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  9. #9
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    These customers are just being jerks. Try diverting the conversation with by making reference that that you are here, and happy to dance for him.

    He apparently doesn't have a family member in your situation. If he did, he never would have opened his yap in the first place.

    Keep in mind that men that make comments like that, view women as possessions. Either by their fathers or husbands, that is what a comment like that amounts to. Try to play into it, and make bank off an otherwise annoying situation.

    I would love to make up abuse/runaway stories to the custys. They eat it up because it plays into their preconceived stereotype of what a stripper is. I know that it is bad to play to a stereotype, but it helped me make a lot of money for many years.

    Ultimately, the customer wants to feel that he is smart and his assumptions about strippers are correct. If he feels smart, he will spend more $$$$$.

    Take that stereotype all the way to the bank, girls!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yep. I ask the guys if their wife or daughter knows they are in a strip club. Or if their mom knows. I've gone so far as to grab a guys phone and pretend to be looking through his phone book saying "lets call you mom and tell her what you are up to tonight...I mean...since you value honesty between parents and children so much....I'll help you make the first step"

    They usually grab the phone and STFU real quick.

    This is along the same lines of "if I was your bf I'd NEVER let you dance"

    Uh huh....thats why I'm SOOO glad your oppressive closed minded ass doesnt have any say in what I do.
    A+ all the way cameron! I will be trying a variation of this next time

  11. #11
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Did you tell him to go fuck himself because he's in a strip club patronizing you, knowing that you must be somebody's daughter???

  12. #12
    Veteran Member LadySoft's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    In this case this is what you: bring out your calculator and calculate how much it will take to ensure your survival on earth (that includes bills, transportation, healthcare, clothes etc), add up everything and tell him that your parents can't accomodate you anymore because you are grown and grown people eventually get independent from their parents. but if he can provide the money on the spot with no fuss and not ask for anything in return, then you'll be more than willing to quit your job.

  13. #13
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    These men feel guilty about their own sexuality. They view sex/nudity/sexually liberated women as a bad thing. Hence they are projecting their own insecurities upon you......

    Its tough not to get upset, but above posters have some great advice.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Bah. Enough with the men thinking I have daddy issues, already. "Fine, you caught me. I don't really have a dad. Or even a family to speak of. I sprang fully formed from the lusty, sex-obsessed mind of the collective male." Asshats. Die. Die slowly.

  15. #15
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    deleted b/c I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Sorry britt and others.
    Last edited by Picaresque; 10-08-2007 at 05:19 PM.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    um.. you know i love you.. but i wouldnt joke about my parents dying

  17. #17
    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    next time tell him, what kind of a dad is he, running around on his kid's mommy trying to hook up with strippers... he should be home with his kiddos

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Personally I think the car crash story is brilliant!

    I haven't heard any comments about my dad, probably because when people ask if my parents know I dance, I laugh and exclaim, "Oh HELL no!" I like to foster that whole here-we-are-being-bad-together thing. But whenever they pull that whole "if you were MY woman, you wouldn't be doing this," my response is always a condescending smile and, "that's why I'll never be your woman!"

  19. #19
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    These customers are just being jerks. Try diverting the conversation with by making reference that that you are here, and happy to dance for him.

    He apparently doesn't have a family member in your situation. If he did, he never would have opened his yap in the first place.

    Keep in mind that men that make comments like that, view women as possessions. Either by their fathers or husbands, that is what a comment like that amounts to. Try to play into it, and make bank off an otherwise annoying situation.

    I would love to make up abuse/runaway stories to the custys. They eat it up because it plays into their preconceived stereotype of what a stripper is. I know that it is bad to play to a stereotype, but it helped me make a lot of money for many years.

    Ultimately, the customer wants to feel that he is smart and his assumptions about strippers are correct. If he feels smart, he will spend more $$$$$.

    Take that stereotype all the way to the bank, girls!
    Paris has the best advice. You are not going to change any custy's mind. In fact, your arguing with him just feeds his Type-A Personality ASSumption that he hit a nerve. What he wants more than seeing you naked is to feel he's the King.

    I had a trainwreck of a conversation with a customer that ended when I realized what he was doing & I excused myself. The bartender thought he was "weird" too so I didn't even run the risk of getting in trouble for refusing his business.

    Some customers come to SCs to try to abuse women in different ways, including emotionally.

    PS- I've also noticed these types are liked canned hunters. They only take shots in a setting where they can maybe get away with it...Can you see one of these dudes trying this shit on some random girl in a regular bar or restaurant?

  20. #20
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    usually when i get asked about my dad, im just like i dont care what he thinks hes dead and im glad...

    haah. its pretty much the truth. shuts them up really fast.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: comments about my dad

    I do what Paris suggests too. The "I'm a universty student with a middle-class background and my parents turn a blind eye to the fact I'm stripping"...this isn't really what any guy wants to hear. Some guys are cool, but they are few. I don't think telling them what they want to hear is rolling over, paws up for patriarchy. I mean, not to start a debate, but I kind of feel dancing is already doing that a little. "You want to prop me up as a sex object? Fine! Now let me pay some bills and laugh all the way to the bank."

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