Review Clubhouse « Previous Club | Next Club »  
Unread Posted: 10-24-2011, 05:11 PM   #1
Doc Holliday
Veteran Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Age: 40
Posts: 561
Reviews: 1
Mood: Rude Rude

Post RE: Clubhouse Strip Club Review Review
Date at Club: 10/14/2011 Dancer's Looks: 7-8 Song Length: 3-5 min.
Overall Rating: Rated: 8 stars by Doc Holliday Dancer's Personallity: 3-4 Club Quality: Lacking
Mileage: Medium Contact
Additional Information
Cons: needs remodeling, many dancers floating around - some who give you the hard sell, shuts down anywhere between 3:15 and 3:45am on Insomnia nights, juice bar only with $5.50 waters and mixers, no VIP stage, six stages (five are one continuous stage around the bar) - meaning you need to wait 30+ minutes for a dancer to be through a set (and you have to count these as the girls sometimes clump together or just stand there).

Pros: the most attractive dancers I've seen for a nude club, and with upwards of 100 dancers there is bound to be 20 bombshells, a celebrity owner, better clientele – couples, business/office types, some blue collars, hipster and college kids who stay for the after party, VIP section near a second-less trafficked bar, nice leather couches in the VIP, $5.50 buckets of ice for beer and $1.50 glasses of ice

The TLDR Review

The Clubhouse looks rough from the outside, and inside? It is. It's in a warehouse district in a warehouse like building. The valets look tough and a cowboy guards the door. Signs everywhere warn you not to dress like a fool. It other words, it doesn't look welcoming. But these people are as respectful as can be. The valets have never been pushy about the $20 valet (you can self park for $10) and the doorman never has been anything but polite. Of course the cashiers at the door are sweet and good looking, but most clubs have those!

Inside, the music is loud, the lights are low, and the girls get nude. But the lights and sound are at a good level. You can have conversations at your table, you can see the dancers, but it's low enough and pointed in the right directions to accentuate their features (yours too, maybe? I don’t know; I didn't bring a mirror). The music is more rock oriented than other clubs, but the girls still request some pop and dance music as well. The DJ announces the dancers in threes which is nice if you are waiting to see someone you know. He also requests you to yell, 'Hell Yeah!!!" from time to time and announces birthdays. But other than that, he keeps his mouth shut more than a lot of strip club DJs. He also has hairsprayed black 80's metal hair!! I'd give the DJ a 9/10, the sound and light show an 7.

The interior hasn't been updated in years and neither has the furniture. It would be nice to see a million dollar make over! The VIP section is obviously nicer. A small room with a couple leather seats and couches with a couple tables in a approx. 100-200 sq ft room with a balcony overlooking the stages. The slick contemporary black leather couches fit my speed better than the worn cloth bucket seats typically found in most strip clubs (and here in the regular floor seating). There is a main stage and the bar stage, which holds five. It wraps around the bar on three sides with two poles and ladders with pirate style crows nests up top. I'd give the decor a 5 (the layout and features are cool, but everything could use work).

Evening shifts are dead but cheap on a week day ($10 before 10 I believe). The girls will go through a 3 song set on the main stage and skip the 'back nine' stages. The dance sets are a totally different vibe as there are fewer customers and employees, and if you tip the dancers, more personal attention is given. Also, the set is 3 compared to 6, so she will be off stage quicker if you are interested in lap dances. The quiet day shift gives you an opportunity to hold a nice conversation with a dancer and enjoy her company in a calmer low-pressure atmosphere.

Night shifts are the opposite on the weekend. From 10PM - 4AM cover is $20 and the place gets full around midnight and has a party like vibe. The girls dance 1 song on the main stage then 5 on the 'back nine' - 2 on either side (not all dancers use the 'crows nests' - as how in the Hell are you going to get good tips up there?) and one in the center. This is not really customer friendly, because if a dancer gets your motor running on the main stage you still have 5 stages to go before your driver is ready to race!! There is also a very large number of dancers walking around (I've heard around 80+ which sounds on the money) and half of them will approach you with the "wanna dance?" line within seconds! Some are hard sells and one is a lush, a hag, and a stalker. But her sheer unattractiveness in all aspects dancing is entertaining, and we've almost become friends, so I never report her. She's just a harmless drunk like me!

The sheer number of dancers here means you will get bad looking ones and good looking ones (most are above average), you’ll get friendly ones, you’ll get intelligent ones, you’ll get dumb, dumb, I mean dumb ones that are just adorable, and then you get the hard sells and the whiney bitches that should have just stayed home. And most all will approach you -- minus the really good ones that are already lined up from the six song marathon! You just have to look around, chat and flirt a bit, and not be afraid to say, "I'm not interested" over and over and over (or take a couple pity dancers to keep peace). When you do find your sweetheart, it will feel like catching a prize, I swear to God! So, the dancer quality is a crap shoot. But I say 7 average, because there are good ones out there that make up for the duds.

The lap dances are $20 and $30 in the VIP with a day pass of $35 to get into VIP. This is totally Your Mileage May Vary!! Some girls will get buttnaked on the first $20 dance, some will make you go to VIP. Mutual touching is permitted (God I hope!) and most girls have allowed it and/or even encouraged/guided my hands (I like being told what to do by a dancer)! And I've never gotten my hand slapped or heard a word from a manager. The girls have different limits and my own limits stop relatively modestly (I want to be teased, I want to look over the edge, but not jump). I always ask first and they’re usually accommodating. But as stated before, some want to go to VIP for the bottomless show. So, I've heard stories of how far some girls will go, but I cannot confirm any. I do know of a few who no longer work here and they did say they were fired over 'getting wild' or 'too drunk'. But, again it’s all second hand. So, my limits are in the middle. I give the dances of three dancers of whom I cliqued with and see regularly a 10, 9, and 7. I've gotten several 5-6's from random dancers, and a couple horrid 2's, which I paid for just to get rid of the dancer or for having a nice conversation with, but couldn’t dance. I also got 2 back to back 9's from a dancer I wanted to get rid of because she was a complete bitch. That was quite the dilemma! I'll probably see her again, LOL.

Overall, I give the club an 8. It can be wild ride on a rough sea with a lot of fish and you can drown! But if you know how to ride it, you’re in for an amazing journey! If you find a dancer(s) you like, I strongly suggest keeping in contact with her (them), so you don't waste your time, get angry, or blow a lot of money on the scores of other dancers! If I wasn't so picky or did not preferred to see the dancers on stage first, I would probably enjoy it more. When you do find a dancer you like, go back and see her on the weekday evening shifts, you'll be able to enjoy a relaxed atmosphere without the intense pressure of the high seas!

There's also Insomnia - the after party rave on weekends from 4:00 AM to 8:00 AM. The real dancers are not allowed to work here, but there are go-go dancers. There is also no alcohol allowed inside anymore. I don't like either of these options, but the music is good 1/10.

Nope silly, its just a persona that entertains the masses, yourself included. - KS_Stevia

- -
(everything I post should be considered a work of fiction)
Review Clubhouse « Previous Club | Next Club »